Sucker Love

The final bell had sounded and everyone rushed to get out of the classroom, tripping over one another as they did so. Stefan was in no hurry, as Brian was again sat beside him in Math. Brian had decided to do all his work that lesson much to Stefan’s dismay, as he’d had nothing to do. Stefan was a quick worker.

“Are you busy this afternoon?” Brian asked.

“Uhh no, not really. Hey, your guitar is still at mine.”

“I know.” Brian smiled. He had a plan and thought Stefan might enjoy it, maybe even more than he would. “Wanna accompany me to town?”

“What for?” Brian turned to look at Stefan for the first time all lesson. “…what for?” Stefan repeated. Brian was surprised he hadn’t said anything about his lack of makeup. It was quite noticeable, he’d thought, as he wore it every other day.

“Shopping? I need some makeup, obviously…” Stefan noted the sad tone in Brian’s voice, knowing what he was thinking.

“You look fine without it, Brian.” He just shook his head in response. He wondered how anyone could be so kind to him. “But yeah, I’ll go.”

Brian sat fidgeting on the bus with his tie, finally deciding to take it off. He undid a few buttons of his school shirt to expose a little of his chest, and Stefan looked away. He hated how attracted he was to the small boy beside him, wishing his eyes would look for someone with more sense. He hadn’t lied to Brian before when he’d said he looked fine without makeup; he really did. Though, it did tend to add an extra something to him.

“Stef, you coming?” Brian asked, waiting for him to get up and follow him off the bus. He did, and Brian grabbed for his hand on the way out. Stefan blushed as the people around them gave them funny looks, taking his hand back for himself. Brian sighed.

“Gees, don’t make me feel too wanted…”

“Brian, I thought you were like…not into me?” Stefan really didn’t want to talk about it, but he was sick of not knowing exactly where he stood with Brian.

“When did I ever say that?”

“You didn’t…your actions did…”

“Ohh, is this about that girl you saw me with Saturday?” Stefan didn’t want to remember it. “I assure you hun, I’m just as into boys…” Stefan blushed.

“It’s not just that, it’s everything. You’re very confusing, Brian.”

“Ohh shush. I’ll just have to make myself clearer then, won’t I?” He winked, and Stefan felt his insides do a flip. A part of him knew that being attracted to Brian was a very bad idea, but another part couldn’t help but think he could help him. Brian was in a very good mood, and was loving the effect he had on Stefan.

It was a very long afternoon as Brian dragged Stefan in and out of shops, up and down the cosmetics aisles, but Stefan was silently enjoying every second of it.

“What about this one?” Brian asked, spraying a little perfume on his neck. Stefan smiled and nodded. “Can you smell it well? Here…” Brian leaned a little closer, and then closer again. Stefan blushed as Brian’s lips made contact with the smooth skin of his neck before he pulled back away. “Well?”

“Very nice, Brian,” Stefan replied, turning to hide his cheeks.

“And you weren’t talking about the perfume, were you?” Brian asked, not expecting Stefan to answer. He liked how shy he was, thinking it was absolutely adorable. “Ooh, wouldn’t this colour look great on me?” Brian’s attention turned back to the bright colours on the shelves, settling on a silver metallic lipstick.

They were finally done with walking around, and so decided to head back home. “Oh, wait two secs hun, I’ll be right back.” Stefan waited by the bus stop for Brian, hoping he’d not make them miss their bus. He was only gone a few minutes and returned with a pack of smokes, lighting one up just as he turned the corner. “I’ve needed this all goddamn day,” Brian said, blowing the smoke upward from his lips. “They never ask me for ID there. Do I look old or something?” Brian mused, taking another drag.

“You look your age, Brian. I think perhaps they’re a little crooked…” Brian just shrugged. He was happy he could get his own smokes, and not have to resort to begging strangers on the streets to do it for him.

Their bus arrived before too long and they took a seat towards the back. Stefan felt as Brian’s arm rested behind his back just slightly, but it could have been unintentional. He was going through what he’d bought that day and showing Stefan once more, who was smiling politely in return. It wasn’t that he hadn’t had a good time with Brian, no. Just, it had been a little awkward. Stefan couldn’t stop worrying that someone may see him with Brian and assume things, and then the whole school would, too. He didn’t want to be bullied, and he didn’t want to be thrown off the basketball team. Being seen with Brian was a sure way to make that happen, though Stefan didn’t understand why. Brian was a nice boy. Surely, he was just misunderstood. He watched from the corner of his eye as Brian fidgeted with the bags he was holding, seeming to have changed moods quite rapidly.

“Are you okay Brian?”

“Hmm?” He brought his eyes up to meet Stefan’s full of concern.

“Are you okay?” Brian nodded once and went back to looking at his shoes. He wasn’t really all that okay.

“I’m fine, I just remembered something.” Stefan felt like pressing further, but it wasn’t his place. Brian continued anyway. “I mean, I haven’t been shopping since I was with Kat, really. You remember Kat?” Everyone remembered Kat. She’d left last year and no one, not even Brian, had known where she’d gone to. Heidi had a suspicion that she’d not moved anywhere and that she was probably still around someplace cold and lonely, but she didn’t talk about it anymore. Brian didn’t like to hear it. She was always so lovely and lively, and Brian couldn’t imagine her any other way. A tear came to his eye but didn’t run down his cheek; it just stayed waiting to fall.