Fuel to the Fire

Today was horrible.

Everything about today was absolutely awful; from waking up late to going to sleep now, my whole day had not one teeny-tiny ray on sunshine. No, God must hate me so much that he was like, “Oh, that girl. Nope! No sunshine for her! Only a dark, gloomy, dismal, dreadful day.”

Fuck my life.

I woke up at 9:47, which isn’t too bad for me, especially considering it’s the middle of Summer. But as soon as I opened my eyes, it struck me that I was supposed to call Garrett forty-seven minutes earlier. Sighing, I got out of bed and ambled towards my cell phone.

Guess what? The battery was dead.

So, I trudged over to my home phone, sighing in the process, and slowly dialed Garrett’s number.

Since I had only gotten up a few minutes earlier, I was still pretty tired, and Garrett’s chirpy voice knocked me off guard. I had to catch the edge of the kitchen table to keep myself from falling to the ground.

“Hey!” Garrett said. “Susan?”

I blinked. Who the hell was Susan? “Uh…no. Courtney.”

I heard Garrett take in a deep breath before replying, “Oh. Uh, sorry about that.” He forced a fake little laugh and I couldn’t help but grimace at the sound of it.

“You have another customer, don’t you?” I asked him, afraid of the answer.

Garrett paused. “I don’t want to talk about that right now,” he eventually answered. “So, um, how’s…uh…Jared?”

I rolled my eyes at his lame attempt to sound interested. “Please. You don’t care. You barely even remembered his name.”

“Oh come on, Courtney! I’m trying here!”

I sighed. “Fine. Jared is fine. I’m actually supposed to have dinner with him and Shelly tonight.” Which was true, considering a sticky-note next to the phone said I was supposed to call him around noon to talk about possibly eating dinner with him and Shelly. I almost laughed; I barely remembered my conversation with my brother last night. I was so tired after Garrett left that right after I hung up with Jared I slipped into my pajamas and crawled into bed, falling asleep instantly.

“Why don’t you call me tomorrow after you’ve had your ‘dinner’,” Garrett offered. “Then you can assess the situation more and we can start working on something.”

I nodded. That sounded like a good plan. “Alright. I’ll try to call you on time tomorrow.” I let out a short laugh, not much unlike Garrett’s from moments before. “Is nine okay again?”

Garrett agreed and I hung up. Walking back to my room, I remembered that I had planned to flip my mattress today. Figuring now was as a good a time as ever to do so, I took all the covers off of my bed and flipped the mattress over. Then I put the covers back on, but not without getting a stubbed toe. “Damnit!” I yelled, hopping on my right foot while holding my large toe on my left foot with my hands, hoping the pressure would stop the pain.

It didn’t. Of course it didn’t. Pressure stops bleeding, not pain. You would think I would know that after receiving my Bachelor’s in Nursing last year.

Even though the first ten minutes of my morning had been horrendous, it wasn’t until I called Jared that I knew my day was doomed.

First off, Jinxy was having digestive problems and had been admitted into the animal hospital overnight. (Guess who Jared blamed for this? Me!)

Secondly, our parents had called him and told him they were ‘worried’ about me.

And lastly, Shelly (aka: The Slut) was ‘really, really, really’ excited to see me. Apparently she had been gushing about me all day and she was ‘ecstatic’ that I had agreed to come to dinner tonight.

Me? I wasn’t that excited, as you have already probably guessed. I was quite the opposite, actually. I had to bite my tongue to hold back my groan while talking to Jared. I still didn’t understand why he was with her still. I mean, why doesn’t he see what I see? Obviously he doesn’t know about the cheating, but she wasn’t a saint, that was for sure.

I guess what they say is true: Love IS Blind.

And then, when I arrived at Jared and Shelly’s house, I almost fainted.

Because on Shelly’s ring finger on her left hand was a ring. And not just any ring: Jared and I’s grandmother’s ring. Shelly noticed my shock and immediately hugged me. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to stop me from fainting or was just happy that I finally knew, but I was glad she did it all the same. I mean, the whole time I was imagining where those hands had been, but if she hadn’t hugged me, I would have fallen over and that would have been embarrassing.

It plagued my mind that Shelly would be so optimistic about me knowing. Why? I had seen her in the kitchen the other day with Todd, hadn’t I? She couldn’t be dumb enough to think that I would believe that he was actually her acting partner, could she?

And then I laughed internally. It was Shelly, of course she could be that stupid.

And then I saw Jared. And that’s what brought me back to reality. He had the biggest smile on his face and it hit me that he was engaged. He was engaged to Shelly The Slut. Not only were they living together, no, now we had to plan a fucking wedding for them.

Like I said earlier, fuck my life.

So anyway, I tried to cover up my surprise (and disgust) and it apparently worked. Shelly, as previously stated, is dumb, and I guessed my brother was too happy to notice my dismay. “Can you believe it?” he asked. “I’m finally marrying my dream girl!”

To an outsider, this would look like a happy moment. Two people getting engaged after being together for over three years. But to me, this moment was anything but happy. I almost broke my façade but quickly redeemed myself. “I’m so happy for you guys,” I said, hoping my voice came off strong. I didn’t think it mattered, though. Both of them were giddier than Santa Claus on Prozac in Disney Land getting laid.

The whole dinner was full of hand-holding and mushy words and quick pecks on the lips and it was all too much for me. Right after we all finished eating I excused myself and apologetically told Jared and Shelly that I had to get home so I could take a shower. (Which wasn’t really a lie…) I practically ran out of the front door and to my car, driving around five miles per hour over the speed limit until I got back to my house.

Parking my car in the garage, I unlocked the door to the house, shut the garage door, and walked inside. I thought my sucky day was over, but apparently God had one more thing out for me.

My phone was blinking red, signaling that I had a voicemail. I pressed ‘Play’ and listened as my mother’s voice came over the speaker. “Hey, honey. It’s your mom. I called Jared today and told him that your father and I are worried about you. We--we miss you, Courtney. Really, we do.”

It took a lot for me to stay calm, but I continued listening to my mother’s message. “I just want to talk to you, Courtney. Please call me. I---I love you. Your father and I…we love you.” There was a pause and then phone beeped and I knew that was it.

I changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed again, and even though I’m not a Believer, I silently prayed to God that tomorrow would be a good day.