Status: done! wish me luckk!
Dirty Laundry.
i didn't mean to be so forward.
I was laughing so hard, my stomach started to tighten into a cramp and tears started brimming my eyes, I could barely see my best friend with through squinted eyes. It was safe to say that things were as they always were. I tried gasping for breath through laughs as I tried to calm myself down.
"Dude, shut up! Everyone's looking at us," His voice said with a small laugh in it, he was the quiet, shy guy who no one noticed. He ran with the popular crowd, but lacked the douchey qualities so many of them possessed, but the main reason he was my best friend was simply because he listened to me when all my other friends simply nodded their heads and pretended and he stuck by me through the lowest lows as well as the highs.
"Then stop making me laugh," I managed through strained breathes. I felt the flush in my cheeks from laughing so hard. I tucked a piece of my black hair behind my ear and inhaled deeply trying to keep a straight face, until the corners of his lips flipped up a little and my serious face came crashing down into laughter again.
"It is good to hear you laugh again," He admitted quietly, looking up at me with his bluish green eyes. My guffaw faded into a light chuckle until I remembered why we were even here in this coffee shop in the first place. I got a look from a hipster kid who obviously disapproved of my expressiveness. I met his glare with a remembered sadness.
"I just wish I knew why," I whispered with a sudden sadness weighing down my heart. I loved how he could just make me forget about the boy who had just broken my heart, if he even had my heart. "I don't understand what I did or didn't do to make him not want me," I said raising my voice a little and looking to him for the answer. It was his friend after all, he should have some insight.
"Uh... I don't think you wanna know," His mouth tightened up with an angry jaw clench. He clutched my hands and I tried to analyze his thoughts, what made him tick, I knew so much about him and there was rarely anything he wouldn't tell me.
"No, John, we dated for six months I think I deserve to know," I said with a new flame of anger in my chest, his hands gave mine a quick squeeze and for some reason I lost the air in my lungs and my stomach dropped. His eyes were glued to my hands until I lowered my head to meet his gorgeous blue eyes with a pleading look. "Please, John, just tell me."
He responded at first with an overdramatic sigh, withdrawing his hands from on top of mine and placed them on top of his thighs. It was like he couldn't sit still, fidgeting in his chair avoiding telling me. I whispered his name and his eyes looked at me with a strange mix of emotions, anger, sadness and something else I hadn't remembered seeing in his eyes before. "Because you.... wouldn't sleep with him..." He hesitated to get out.
Instead of responding, I simply stood up and walked out and tried my best not to start crying in public. I walked ignoring John calling out after me as well as a creepy homeless guy vulgarly hitting on me, which pushed me over the edge as tears poured from my eyes violently.
"Grace! Grace!" He called out one last time before grabbing my wrist and sending me swinging into his already open arms. I put my head into the crevice of his neck, feeling his warm skin against my face. I felt my knees give out and found that he caught me already. "I'm so sorry," He whispered right into my ear, tickling me slightly and sending shivers down my spine. I looked up at him and he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
"He gave up a six month relationship, because I wouldn't fuck him? Of course," I began chuckling through tears because that's all I could do. I would not cry over someone who couldn't bear not to get laid, because Grace Rayleigh Branch knew better than that.
"Of course what?" John asked re-wrapping me tighter into his arms. I felt his heart beating directly into my ear and for whatever reason this was the first time I had felt John O'Callaghan's heart beating in his chest and for whatever reason it made me smile and calm.
"Of course no one would ever want me for anything more than appearances," I said with a newfound serenity that seemed crippling with his intent stare, his glassy blue-green eyes that actually cared. I had looked into his eyes numerous times over our friendship, but never like this.
"Don't ever say that," He said a flicker of anger in his eyes. This caught me off guard and I was suddenly intent on figuring him out. I realized that even though John was consistently there for me I had rarely been there for him. It was a selfish relationship and it just hit me now like a blanket of ignorance had just been lifted off me. I felt the warm humid air seeming to wrap around my ankles stemming from the wet pavement, proof of the rainfall that stopped right after the break up.
"Why not? It's true Justin Miller, Bobby O'Flannigan, Matt Brown, Ja-" I began listing all the boys I had dated that dumped me for the same exact reason Zack Bailey, John's asshole of a friend, had.
"Grace shut up, just because you only date guys that don't see the real you doesn't mean no one thinks of you like that," John interrupted with the fire burning in his eyes and it clicked. Why he had even stuck around when I was probably the worst friend to him, leaving him for relationships then falling back into him to pick up the pieces. I knew now why I kept coming back to him. I pressed up to my tippy-toes to reach his lips with mine, closing my eyes praying to God I was right. I felt my heart explode into a flutter and my skin erupt into tingles that seemed to make me want him closer. His soft lips slowly progressing into a deeper kiss until I felt hands on my shoulders pressing me away from him.
I saw the hands belonged to him and I felt rejected immediately. The amazing feeling I had shattered along with my heart. I opened my eyes lovingly and desperately seeking answers. "You don't want this," He said looking down at his feet, stepping away from me. He looked just as rejected as me which was confusing since I had just kissed him. I was in serious need of answers and I needed them now. I stepped closer and I gently traced his prominent jaw to gently guide his eyes to meet mine.
"I do, and I know you think this is some sick and pathetic rebound because you're here and I'm desperate, but you're wrong. It's because you're always there for me! Because you can make me smile when I feel like my world is falling apart. Because when you look at me, you see me not my boobs or my lips. Because even when I'm the shittiest friend in the world you are constantly there for me when I don't deserve the time of day," I stopped as this confession poured out to catch my breath. I looked at him, who was just as surprised as I was wondering where half these feelings came from, but I suppose I knew. The way my stomach would turn in anticipation if I would see him during breaks or the happiness when I caught him staring at me. The corners of my mouth turned up slightly as I added on one more thing, "and you know... you're not too hard on the eyes either," I started laughing.
"Grace, I would've been happy even if I was there and you were desperate, I just... I just want things to change between us. I just never had the heart. It sounds dumb saying it out loud," John smiled stepping closer to me pressing his lips to mine and the feeling erupted again, he sent shivers down my spine as he ran his fingers through my hair to pull me head in closer to him.
"Things are gonna be different now you'll see," I smiled after our lips parted, but only for a short while because being apart from him seemed harder than it had been for the past couple of years we'd been friends. I felt his fingers running though my hair gently and I curled my back into him further. We spent the rest of the night kissing in the parking lot, waiting in my front yard and talking until a completely unreasonable time in the morning.
We laid in the grass of my front yard, which was cool from the night air. I rolled closer to him, resting my head in the crevice of his arm which was wrapped around me. He kissed the top of my head in the comfortable silence we had, both of us entranced by the stars. Or so I thought when I noticed him staring at me. I smiled and laughed because I couldn't be happier and it could express what words couldn't. "So Mr. O'Callaghan, will you be taking me on a date since we've established this mutual interest?" I asked with a terrible attempt at a british accent and a huge smile on my face.
"Only if I never ever end up in the friend zone again, it's terrible there-smells like week-old nachos," He said shuddering with conviction. I smiled and tried to keep my laughter down due to the time. I kissed his cheek gratefully.
"I'm so glad you endured the smell of week-old nachos for me," I grinned with a slightly joking tone, but the look in my eyes had to express the way I felt about him. If it wasn't love it was definitely something like it, something bigger than the little daily problems we go through and bigger than college or the future. I cleared my throat, roping my runaway mind back to the moment, "So how is it outside of the friend zone?" I asked moving my hand to his chest which was warm under my frozen fingers, and shaking from chuckles.
"It's different I don't know if I can handle it," He joked with a sarcastic tone in his voice. I slapped him slightly and propped myself up onto my elbow to look in his eyes, laughter still shaking me slightly and I pressed my lips to his gently and our eyes burned into each other.
"Even though things are gonna be different now, you can handle it, you'll see ," I smiled before kissing him again, thinking I could get used to it before I pulled away from him abruptly, he looked at me slightly confused and grabbed my hand instinctively, as if I was going to run away. "You better be able to handle it," I laughed finally breaking the tension I had caused. He laughed and pulled me into him as we stared at the sky until it turned light again and in his arms I knew that even though this would be different, they would be much, much better.
"Dude, shut up! Everyone's looking at us," His voice said with a small laugh in it, he was the quiet, shy guy who no one noticed. He ran with the popular crowd, but lacked the douchey qualities so many of them possessed, but the main reason he was my best friend was simply because he listened to me when all my other friends simply nodded their heads and pretended and he stuck by me through the lowest lows as well as the highs.
"Then stop making me laugh," I managed through strained breathes. I felt the flush in my cheeks from laughing so hard. I tucked a piece of my black hair behind my ear and inhaled deeply trying to keep a straight face, until the corners of his lips flipped up a little and my serious face came crashing down into laughter again.
"It is good to hear you laugh again," He admitted quietly, looking up at me with his bluish green eyes. My guffaw faded into a light chuckle until I remembered why we were even here in this coffee shop in the first place. I got a look from a hipster kid who obviously disapproved of my expressiveness. I met his glare with a remembered sadness.
"I just wish I knew why," I whispered with a sudden sadness weighing down my heart. I loved how he could just make me forget about the boy who had just broken my heart, if he even had my heart. "I don't understand what I did or didn't do to make him not want me," I said raising my voice a little and looking to him for the answer. It was his friend after all, he should have some insight.
"Uh... I don't think you wanna know," His mouth tightened up with an angry jaw clench. He clutched my hands and I tried to analyze his thoughts, what made him tick, I knew so much about him and there was rarely anything he wouldn't tell me.
"No, John, we dated for six months I think I deserve to know," I said with a new flame of anger in my chest, his hands gave mine a quick squeeze and for some reason I lost the air in my lungs and my stomach dropped. His eyes were glued to my hands until I lowered my head to meet his gorgeous blue eyes with a pleading look. "Please, John, just tell me."
He responded at first with an overdramatic sigh, withdrawing his hands from on top of mine and placed them on top of his thighs. It was like he couldn't sit still, fidgeting in his chair avoiding telling me. I whispered his name and his eyes looked at me with a strange mix of emotions, anger, sadness and something else I hadn't remembered seeing in his eyes before. "Because you.... wouldn't sleep with him..." He hesitated to get out.
Instead of responding, I simply stood up and walked out and tried my best not to start crying in public. I walked ignoring John calling out after me as well as a creepy homeless guy vulgarly hitting on me, which pushed me over the edge as tears poured from my eyes violently.
"Grace! Grace!" He called out one last time before grabbing my wrist and sending me swinging into his already open arms. I put my head into the crevice of his neck, feeling his warm skin against my face. I felt my knees give out and found that he caught me already. "I'm so sorry," He whispered right into my ear, tickling me slightly and sending shivers down my spine. I looked up at him and he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
"He gave up a six month relationship, because I wouldn't fuck him? Of course," I began chuckling through tears because that's all I could do. I would not cry over someone who couldn't bear not to get laid, because Grace Rayleigh Branch knew better than that.
"Of course what?" John asked re-wrapping me tighter into his arms. I felt his heart beating directly into my ear and for whatever reason this was the first time I had felt John O'Callaghan's heart beating in his chest and for whatever reason it made me smile and calm.
"Of course no one would ever want me for anything more than appearances," I said with a newfound serenity that seemed crippling with his intent stare, his glassy blue-green eyes that actually cared. I had looked into his eyes numerous times over our friendship, but never like this.
"Don't ever say that," He said a flicker of anger in his eyes. This caught me off guard and I was suddenly intent on figuring him out. I realized that even though John was consistently there for me I had rarely been there for him. It was a selfish relationship and it just hit me now like a blanket of ignorance had just been lifted off me. I felt the warm humid air seeming to wrap around my ankles stemming from the wet pavement, proof of the rainfall that stopped right after the break up.
"Why not? It's true Justin Miller, Bobby O'Flannigan, Matt Brown, Ja-" I began listing all the boys I had dated that dumped me for the same exact reason Zack Bailey, John's asshole of a friend, had.
"Grace shut up, just because you only date guys that don't see the real you doesn't mean no one thinks of you like that," John interrupted with the fire burning in his eyes and it clicked. Why he had even stuck around when I was probably the worst friend to him, leaving him for relationships then falling back into him to pick up the pieces. I knew now why I kept coming back to him. I pressed up to my tippy-toes to reach his lips with mine, closing my eyes praying to God I was right. I felt my heart explode into a flutter and my skin erupt into tingles that seemed to make me want him closer. His soft lips slowly progressing into a deeper kiss until I felt hands on my shoulders pressing me away from him.
I saw the hands belonged to him and I felt rejected immediately. The amazing feeling I had shattered along with my heart. I opened my eyes lovingly and desperately seeking answers. "You don't want this," He said looking down at his feet, stepping away from me. He looked just as rejected as me which was confusing since I had just kissed him. I was in serious need of answers and I needed them now. I stepped closer and I gently traced his prominent jaw to gently guide his eyes to meet mine.
"I do, and I know you think this is some sick and pathetic rebound because you're here and I'm desperate, but you're wrong. It's because you're always there for me! Because you can make me smile when I feel like my world is falling apart. Because when you look at me, you see me not my boobs or my lips. Because even when I'm the shittiest friend in the world you are constantly there for me when I don't deserve the time of day," I stopped as this confession poured out to catch my breath. I looked at him, who was just as surprised as I was wondering where half these feelings came from, but I suppose I knew. The way my stomach would turn in anticipation if I would see him during breaks or the happiness when I caught him staring at me. The corners of my mouth turned up slightly as I added on one more thing, "and you know... you're not too hard on the eyes either," I started laughing.
"Grace, I would've been happy even if I was there and you were desperate, I just... I just want things to change between us. I just never had the heart. It sounds dumb saying it out loud," John smiled stepping closer to me pressing his lips to mine and the feeling erupted again, he sent shivers down my spine as he ran his fingers through my hair to pull me head in closer to him.
"Things are gonna be different now you'll see," I smiled after our lips parted, but only for a short while because being apart from him seemed harder than it had been for the past couple of years we'd been friends. I felt his fingers running though my hair gently and I curled my back into him further. We spent the rest of the night kissing in the parking lot, waiting in my front yard and talking until a completely unreasonable time in the morning.
We laid in the grass of my front yard, which was cool from the night air. I rolled closer to him, resting my head in the crevice of his arm which was wrapped around me. He kissed the top of my head in the comfortable silence we had, both of us entranced by the stars. Or so I thought when I noticed him staring at me. I smiled and laughed because I couldn't be happier and it could express what words couldn't. "So Mr. O'Callaghan, will you be taking me on a date since we've established this mutual interest?" I asked with a terrible attempt at a british accent and a huge smile on my face.
"Only if I never ever end up in the friend zone again, it's terrible there-smells like week-old nachos," He said shuddering with conviction. I smiled and tried to keep my laughter down due to the time. I kissed his cheek gratefully.
"I'm so glad you endured the smell of week-old nachos for me," I grinned with a slightly joking tone, but the look in my eyes had to express the way I felt about him. If it wasn't love it was definitely something like it, something bigger than the little daily problems we go through and bigger than college or the future. I cleared my throat, roping my runaway mind back to the moment, "So how is it outside of the friend zone?" I asked moving my hand to his chest which was warm under my frozen fingers, and shaking from chuckles.
"It's different I don't know if I can handle it," He joked with a sarcastic tone in his voice. I slapped him slightly and propped myself up onto my elbow to look in his eyes, laughter still shaking me slightly and I pressed my lips to his gently and our eyes burned into each other.
"Even though things are gonna be different now, you can handle it, you'll see ," I smiled before kissing him again, thinking I could get used to it before I pulled away from him abruptly, he looked at me slightly confused and grabbed my hand instinctively, as if I was going to run away. "You better be able to handle it," I laughed finally breaking the tension I had caused. He laughed and pulled me into him as we stared at the sky until it turned light again and in his arms I knew that even though this would be different, they would be much, much better.