Know Your Enemy

Billie couldn't help but cringe as he walked through the hospital to get to Elizabeth's office. He had never really cared for them. They were too white, too plain, too sterile. Being the artist he was, he wanted nothing more than to be let loose with a can of paint so he could attempt to add personality to the place.

The thought of him acting like a monstrous Monet calmed his nerves so when he had reached Elizabeth's office, he was smiling.

"Hello, I'm Billie Joe Armstrong," he extended his hand to the elderly lady, "we spoke on the phone."

"Oh yes---Mr Armstrong, thank you for getting down here so quickly. Please, come in, take a seat."

Billie did as he was told and breathed a sigh of relief once he was out of the whiteness of the corridor. "So where is Adrienne right now?" he asked as he sat down.

"She's just a little farther down this corridor. I would ask if you would like to see her but seeing as she's only been here two, I don't want to risk upsetting her just yet."

"Oh, it's fine. I completely understand. I just wanted to know where she was that's all. So is she doing OK?"

"For the most part yes. But like I said on the phone, she's deflecting a lot of questions at the minute and it's making it difficult for me to evaluate the seriousness of her situation."

"Well I would have thought that seeing as she was in here in the first place, then that's pretty serious?"

"I do see where you're coming from Mr Armstrong, I really do---but what you've got to understand is that anorexia nervosa not only affects the body, but it affects the brain too. My job is to try and evaluate the mental situation of patients. I need to know their thoughts about food, thoughts about themselves and thoughts about others so I can assess what kind of treatment would be most beneficial to them."

"Isn't all treatment the same? You've got to get them to eat?"

"Well yes, there's that. But we've also got to change their mental attitudes. Some women---and sometimes men---who come here, are so consumed by the illness that they can't be around anyone because they're just too paranoid. Recovery for these patients is often a longer and more emotional process than for others who prefer to have group treatment. By talking to others, not only do they realise that they don't have to go through the illness alone, but it also speeds up, in a way, the process of accepting that they're ill in the first place."

"So you want me to help you figure out which group of patients Adie belongs in?"

"Bingo."

Billie Joe nodded, understanding. He hoped to God that she was in the second category of patients.

"So tell me about Adrienne's personality---what kind of woman is she?"

Billie couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. "She's an amazing human being. Seriously. She does all this stuff for charity and she cares about the environment. I think she's a hell of a more cooler person than I can ever hope to be. And then on top of all that she's a great mom. Joey and Jake adore her. I wouldn't say that she's raised them single handedly, but she's had to do a lot of it by herself, y'know, with me being on tour and all that. But she's never resented me for it. She's just---amazing."

Billie saw Elizabeth's eyes widen as he babbled about Adrienne. His cheeks involuntarily flushed red.

"Sorry," he mumbled into his lap. "I get carried away when I talk about her. But only because I love her so much."

"There's nothing to apologise for---you're proud of your wife. I can see that. I don't blame you for holding her up on a pedestal."

Billie smiled again.

"So---the Adrienne you talk about, is it the same Adrienne as the one who's in this hospital now?"

Billie rubbed the back of his neck thoughtfully. "I want to say yes but then I know that I'd be lying. I mean---her passion is still there. But whereas before she used to instill it in charity work or her store, now the only thing she's passionate about is calorie counting and exercising."

"So Adrienne doesn't try and hide from you the fact that she's on a diet?"

"No."

"Does she skip meals?"

"She doesn't really eat meals."

"Can you elaborate on that for me?"

"The amount of food she eats isn't worth classing as a meal. For breakfast she'll have half an orange or half an apple. For lunch she'll just have a bottle of water. And at dinner she'll eat the other half of the fruit that she had for breakfast. In between meal times she'll either go and do an hours worth of swimming in our pool---and not slow swimming might I add, but real vigorous lengths. If she doesn't swim then she'll take the dog out for a walk and she'll be gone for up to three hours."

"Has her dieting always been to that extreme?"

"No. When she first said she wanted to lose weight she just cut out all the crap like chips and stuff and she stopped drinking wine with me at night time. I mean, she's always looked absolutely amazing to me but when she lost the first few pounds I swear I've never seen anyone radiate half as much as she did! She looked totally stunning. But when I told her that she'd lost enough weight, she got angry and was determined to lose more. That's when she cut her portions down and started the exercising. And then when that wasn't enough, she stopped eating properly."

"OK Billie Joe, you're doing great. This is really helping. Now---has Adrienne's interpersonal skills changed at all since she became ill?"

"I guess you could say that she's a lot more volatile. She loses her temper really quickly. Which isn't like her at all because she's usually the most patient person on the planet."

"Tell me about the incident between her and your son."

"It was an accident!"

"I'm not saying that it wasn't. I just want to know what happened."

"She loves our kids. She really does. She wouldn't have wanted to hurt Joey for anything. He's just a kid. He doesn't understand that his mom is ill."

"What happened Billie Joe?"

"Joey and Adrienne got into a fight about food. He was angry at her for not going to his baseball team's annual cook out. So when he got home he tried to make her eat a burger and when she refused it, he got angrier and tried to force it on her. That's when she snapped and pushed him backwards over one of the breakfast stools and he landed weirdly on his arm."

"How many times have you seen her snap like that?"

"She tends to snap with me more than she does the kids. But only because they've learned to stay out of her way. I'll admit that I've been a bit of a jackass in the past so I've gotten used to her hitting me y'know, but sometimes I really don't know what to do for the best. I tell her she's beautiful and she accuses me of lying to her which results in her losing her temper. I tell her she needs to stop what she's doing and again, she loses her temper!"

"Does all this happen behind closed doors?"

"Yeah."

"Does she ever go out in public?"

"She will come down to the studio a few times a week and when she does, she'll always take the time to talk to the rest of the folks down there. She'll go shopping. She'll visit my mom. She's not afraid to go out. The only thing we don't do when we're out, is eat."

Billie enjoyed the silence that descended upon the room when Elizabeth nodded and focused on writing down his answers rather than asking him another question.

"From the answers that you've given me Billie Joe," she started again once she had finished writing. "I can safely say that I think Adrienne would really benefit from the group therapy."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "So with that in mind, do you reckon she'll be out of here in a month or something?"

"I hate to quash your optimism, but the amount of time that Adrienne spends in here all depends on how well she responds to the treatment. I'm sure you've heard that she's got to help herself before we can help her."

Billie rubbed his eyes wearily. "Yeah I thought that might be the case---so is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No Billie Joe, you've been an amazing help. Thanks to your answers we should be able to get Adrienne started in therapy within the next couple of days."

They both exchanged polite goodbyes and then Billie made his way back down the painfully bland corridor. As he was nearing the exit, a group of doctors and nurses hurriedly pushed past him. His curious eyes followed them into a patient's private room. Through the small pane of glass in the door, Billie saw them crowd round the bed. His heart leaped into his throat as he watched them try to breathe life back into the frail body of a small female. He had to grit his teeth to stop himself from crying when he watched different fists, futilely pound at her bony chest, trying to restart her heart.

He didn't know how long he stood and watched the terrifying scene. He only realised he had started to cry once he was back in his car. He folded his arms across the steering wheel and sobbed wildly into them.

But his sorrow for the poor girl in that room was somewhat masked by the crippling realisation that his own wife, could also suffer the same fate.

"Please help yourself Adie," he whispered to himself. "Please."