A Photograph of You & I

Aina's P.OV

I woke up the following morning in my own bed, by my own free will, and without Ville beside me. I pushed the image I'd conjured of Jonna curled up beside Ville with his arms wrapped around her as they celebrated their forthcoming child.

He would be happier without me, it would just take him time to realize that.

"Aina sweetie?" My mother's soft voice echoed in the hallway and I turned toward the door, pushing the old quilt off of my warm body only to be wrapped with the chill air.

"Morning Mum." I said, trying to smile but finding it only turned into a grimace.

"Morning. Do you want some coffee?" She asked, her smile never faltering.

"Sure, I'll come out and get it."

"No, no I'll do it, I want to pamper you a little before you head back to London."

I gave her a weak smile. "Thank you Mum."

She returned my smile, outshining me with her radiance while I fell back down, staring at the ceiling. Unwanted pictures floated through my head as I struggled to shake them out. The ring of my cell phone provided a much needed distraction as I hunted for it among my things that lay discarded on the floor.

"Hello?" I said into the speaker as I pressed the phone to my ear.

"Hey, Aina." Bam's usually chipper voice sounded rather dismal this morning. I looked at the clock. Strike that, afternoon.

"What's wrong?"

"Jonna, of course."

I sighed, not really wishing to hear her name. "Of course. What's she doing?"

"Making Ville absolutely miserable. I haven't heard him fight with someone as much as he fights with her. Listen."

I strained to hear as Bam held his phone out in open ear. Faintly I heard the obvious yelling of a man and woman. The voices were quite easy to distinguish.

"That is like the seventh fight they've had this morning."

"What are they fighting about?"

"The kid, moving, plans...you."

"Me? What do they have to fight about me for?"

"Ville blames her for not getting to say goodbye to you."

I bit the inside of my cheek as I swallowed the retort that had been about to come out of my mouth. "Give him the phone then."

"What?" Bam asked, completely shocked.

"Give him the phone, there will be absolutely no fighting over me between them."

"Alright, hold on."

I heard Bam get up from his seat, most likely on the couch, and his footsteps on the wooden floor. I heard the knocking on Ville's door and could almost picture the scene as if I was there.

"What Bam?" Ville's aggravated voice asked as the door opened. My heart beat anxiously in my chest.

"Phone." Bam replied simply.

"Tell whoever it is that I'll call them back."

"I don't think you want to pass this one up, Vil."

"Oh for fuck's sake.Hello?"

I sat silently for a moment on my bed, choking back the sobs that had welled up in my chest. "Hello, Ville." My voice came out in a mangled whisper.

"Aina?" His own voice a mere whisper as the door shut, most likely so Jonna couldn't listen in on his conversation.

"I just wanted to say goodbye, and to tell you not to fight with Jonna over me. I don't want to be a reason for strain between the two of you." I said, my voice becoming less and less emotional as I tried my best to close up my heart.

"Aina, I love you." He blurted out without really listening to me. I resisted the urge I felt to vomit because of the emotions that were welling up inside.

"Ville, please don't do this. Please don't make it harder for me to let you go." A mutinous tear escaped the corner of my eye and I quickly wiped away any trace of it.

"I don't want you to let me go, Aina. I want you to love me too, even if only with the remotest corner of your heart - I never want you to lose that feeling for me."

"Ville stop -"

"No Aina, listen to me. Do you remember what I told you that night that you tried to run from Bam's?" I remained silent. "Do you?"

"Y-yes." I managed to say through a sob. Several more rebellious tears escaped their confines.

"What did I say?"

"Y-you you said that Just know that no matter what you want us to be, and even I were to love someone else..." My voice was becoming more and more shaky. I reached for a Kleenex and wiped at my nose.

"There was more."

I let out a few more sobs and ruined breaths. "You said that you would always belong to me."

"Aina, please know that even now, that holds true. There is no one in this world for me but you. I know that, you know that, even Jonna knows that. I will go to my grave having missed out on the best damn thing the gods ever gave to this wretched planet. Please believe that, if nothing else, believe that." His own voice was becoming shaky with his request of me and I wished more than anything that I could hug him, touch him...look at him.

"I believe you Ville."

"I love you." He repeated and the dam that I'd been building to hold in my horrid emotions burst and I began weeping, not bothering to wipe them away.

I heard him release his own sobs on the phone and I finally let it fall to my lap as I buried my head in my hands. I heard Bam's voice yelling into the phone.

"Aina! Aina?" He called and after a moment I picked up the phone.

"Yes Bam? I'm here."

"I'm coming to get you."

"What for?"

"Nothing special. I'll be there in twenty okay?" His voice became softer, as if he were negotiating with a four-year-old.

"Okay. I'll see you then."

"Bye.

"Bye..." I said absently.

I threw my legs over the edge of the bed as I reached for the box of Kleenex, going through several as I cleaned up my face a little.

"Aina?" My mom knocked softly on the door. It was obvious she'd been listening to my end of the conversation in the hallway.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

I sniffed and looked up at her with a smile and fresh tears burning my eyes. "No, I'm not okay. I don't think I ever will be."