A Photograph of You & I

Ville's P.O.V

Carefully, so that I wouldn't make any extra sound, I let the door click into place and removed my jacket. Jonna's purse still hung on one of the hooks near the doorway, which was the first sign that she was still there. The second, was the unmistakable sound of crying. Horrible sobs that came from only a person who knew the deepest pain imaginable.

Heartbreak.

Trying to ease the guilt in my own heart, I shrugged off my jacket and walked into the bedroom I'd shared with Jonna for what seemed an eternity.

I found her there with her back to me as she folded her clothes and shoved them in a suitcase. Her small body quaked with the sobs she now fought, almost undoubtedly knowing that she had an audience. I parted my lips, about to speak but she beat me to the punch.

"It was stupid of me to even try," her voice quaked as she turned to me. A small, weak smile spread on her face and I grew confused.

"Jonna," I tried to find the words to tell her that maybe in another time or place she and I might have worked out. But I knew that was a lie. So long as Aina existed, Jonna and I would never be together.

"Please Ville," She held up her hand to stop me. "I don't want your explanations."

I closed my mouth and watched as she set the shirt she'd been messily folding into her suitcase. Without anything to fold, her hands became fidgety and so she sat on the bed and placed her hands beneath her.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you, Ville."

I grew worried now. There was no sign of the heartbreak in her voice that I'd heard only seconds before. She seemed calm, almost guilty herself. My eyebrows unwillingly knitted together, betraying me. I wished that my emotions weren't so plain for everyone to see.

"You should probably sit down." She warned. Slowly, I slipped around the corner and lowered myself onto a bench that housed itself near the wall opposite her. She would not look at me now, I noticed.

"What's this about?" I asked, becoming more wary by the second. She pursed her lips together and fought back the sobs that threatened to consume her again. I looked on as a tear rolled down her nose and dropped from it's tip.

"The baby, Ville. This is about the baby..."

My stomach knotted. "Jonna, I promise you that I will help you take care of our child. Whatever you need for him or her, it's yours."

Sobs consumed her again and she practically curled in on herself like a burning flower. Something was troubling her far more than child support but she couldn't or wouldn't voice it.

When she finally gained control of herself she peered up at me from under her long lashes. "Do you hate me, Ville?"

Once again, my stomach knotted. "No, Jonna. I don't."

"What if I'd done something horrible. Something practically unforgivable. Would you hate me then?"

I was taken aback. "Jonna, did you murder someone?" The words flew out of my mouth and I wasn't sure whether or not I meant them seriously or as a joke.

She chuckled darkly and I feared for a moment that I'd hit the nail right on it's euphemistic head. Was Jonna capable of murder?

"No, Ville, I haven't murdered anyone. Literally anyway."

"Jonna would you just tell me what this is all about?"

She began fidgeting with her hands again the second she stood up and walked to the window overlooking the street below. Her back was to me but I could almost feel the anger welling up into her face and replacing the guilt that lurked beneath.

"Why don't you love me Ville? Why do you love her over me?"

Her words took me for a moment, although I'd been expecting them. Granted, I'd also been expecting something large and breakable to be flying through the air at me the moment I'd come through the door...

"Jonna, I do love you. I wouldn't have spent so much time with you if I did not. But, Aina..." I struggled to find words that would inject as little pain as possible. "Aina is my other half. She always has been...ever since we were kids. I've loved her from the moment I met her and when she left, I truely thought I'd never see her again..."

"So I was a replacement?" She spat, breaking me off. I held my hands up signalling her that she should stop so I could continue. She looked at me with fire in her eyes but nodded once.

"Despite my love for you, the love I have for Aina has never gone away. It never changed, but grew stronger as the years progressed..."

"So what? Everytime we've slept together, it's been her you've been thinking about?"

I didn't answer that. "I just can't love you like I love her, Jonna. It's unfair to all involved if I tried because we'd all end up hurting in the end. You deserve someone who can love you like that."

"Then why waste everyone's time, Ville?" She screamed, throwing her hands down to her sides in clenched fists. "You should have just gone to find her once you had the money! You should have left me alone! Now, because of you I've become a liar!"

She stomped over to me and slapped me hard across the face. It stung wickedly as only an angry slap from a woman scorned can. I held my own fists at my side, and watched as the hot angry tears poured from her eyes.

"What's wrong with the baby?" I asked quietly.

She bit down on her lip so hard that I thought she might pierce it with her teeth. "Oh Ville, you're such a fool."

"Am I?" I took a step toward her and she took two steps away.

She was fidgeting again. "How long has it been since the last time we slept together?"

I almost rolled my eyes but instead I thought back. "September." It had been right after we'd gotten back from our summer tour of the states...

"How many months?"

"Four..." I replied warily. She gave me a look and then it hit me. I looked once over her body to be sure but she spoke my guess before I could.

"I'm not pregnant Ville. I never was."

I needed to punch something, hit something, rip something to shreds. I could feel the anger rising in my cheeks and my blood turning to fire in my veins.

"What the fuck, Jonna!" I screamed turning to punch the wall nearest me. She jumped a little but tried to keep a brave face on.

"All of this pain you've caused! All over a lie? When were you planning on telling me Jonna? Or were you? What were you gonna do, go adopt a baby who kind of looked like us and pass it off as ours? You're fucking sick Jonna, sick!" I couldn't see her anymore. All I could see was a mask of red that threatened to consume my entire world.

"It was all I could think of, Ville! I called Bam's house on New Year's Eve and Bam said that you were with someone! When I asked who she just said an old friend, but I knew Ville, I knew that you were with another girl and I knew that if I didn't find something that would tether you to me, I'd lose you before I could ever get a chance to get you back!"

I was caught for a moment when she said that Bam had spoken with her that night. Why hadn't he told me?

This momentary lapse in anger caused it to diminish drastically and before I knew it, I was able to think clearly again.

"I never want to see you again Jonna. I'm going to forget you exist and you will never be anything more to me than a stranger on the street. Take your things and get out." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a couple of bills then threw them at her. "Give that to the cab driver and tell him to take you as far as that will go."