Breaking the Hold

When we entered the cafeteria area Brian was already sitting at our usual table, a plate of mash potatoes and steak that appeared to be untouched. That was odd; Brian usually scarfed down his food like a zoo animal that hadn’t been fed in months, especially if it was meat. He had a hard threatening look on his face and I was hesitant to approach. I thought Brian was being nice now, but maybe I was just imagining things.

I filled my plate with eggplant parmesan and some peas, my lighthearted mood from before evaporating with every step I took towards our table. Brian’s eye flashed dangerously at every person that passed causing them to go out of their way to walk around the table. I hung back, unsure if I wanted to go near him when he was angry until Jimmy walked up behind me and slapped me on the back, causing me to almost drop my plate. I glared at his snickering face and I crept towards the table behind him. Jimmy slid himself and his figments into the side of the booth across from Brian and began immediately stuffing his face. I gave him a dirty look. That fucker was going to make me sit next to Brian. I sat down gingerly at the edge of the booth and tucked my hands into my lap; the anxiety was making my appetite disappear.

“So what crawled up your ass and died?” Jimmy asked conversationally around a drink of milk. Brian growled and didn’t say anything. Jimmy chuckled. “I would say Zacky’s dick, but you look more like a top.” He laughed at his own joke. Brian’s eyes narrowed and his hands clenched in his lap until his knuckles were strained and white. I felt a blush flood my cheeks and looked away. When Jimmy noticed neither of us was laughing he booed.

“Johnny thought it was funny.” He mumbled around his fork. Brian rolled his eyes and began to aggressively cut his steak. Not liking an angry Brian with a knife I stayed where I was, still not touching my meal. After Brian had cut the whole thing up into small pieces he looked at me, and his eyes immediately softened, and I could see a flash of pity in them.

“Zacky, you need to eat.” He told me like he was coaxing a scared animal towards him. I sighed, knowing he was right and scooted myself further into the booth and hesitantly putting a forkful of eggplant in my mouth. The meal continued rather silently, Jimmy making the only conversation with Johnny. Brian had been in the middle of taking a drink when something caught his eye and made his face turn stony, an animalistic looking frown becoming etched on his face. I felt him tense next to me and looked over questioningly.

“Brian? What’s the matter? Is something wrong? Should I get help?” I stage whispered and made to get up. Brian grabbed my shoulder, holding it a little tighter than necessary. I whimpered and sat back down. “Brian that hurts.” I said quietly. Brian’s grip loosened but neither his hand nor his expression moved. I sat perfectly still, like an weak animal that knew it was being stalked by a predator.

“Brian what is it?” I whispered frantically, becoming anxious. Brian leaned down and talked quickly in my ear, his eyes never leaving whatever had caught his attention.

“Zacky do exactly what I tell you or make you do, okay? Play along with whatever I say and make it look convincing. I’ll explain it all later.”

“What?” I cried, feeling tears spark at the corners of my eyes. I was getting scared, like I was going to be held at gunpoint and Brian was going to negotiate for my life.

“Just do it!” he hissed before stretching his arm out and wrapping it lazily around my shoulders. His face became carefully blank and suave, the perfect mask of the arrogant, cocky Brian that I had first met. He continued eating with his free hand like nothing had happened. Meanwhile, I was too confused and scared to breathe, much less pick my fork up and eat, and Jimmy had dropped his fork in shock.

“See Johnny! I told you they were fucking! Ten bucks dude! And give me back my stallion duck. You’ve had him all afternoon!” He cackled to the air next to him.

“Zack, Babe, you need to eat. I can feel your ribs.” Brian cooed at me, not sickly sweet, but like he actually cared for my well being. I looked at him and furrowed my eyebrows. Since when did he start calling me babe? And what was with this new tone? I was about to question it when I felt a presence next to me.

I looked over and froze, the blood running through my veins turning icy and my throat closing. The man was massive, taller and more muscular than the well built Brian next to me. His threatening biceps were covered in tattoos of monsters and horrible things. He had a mean smirk on his face, light glinting ominously off of his lip ring, and his eyes were obscured by a pair of dark aviators. He had a bandana and baseball cap on his head and looked like a complete thug. I whimpered quietly and tucked myself closer to Brian whose hand tightened around me. He towered over me and I felt myself suffocating in his dark shadow.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asked in a cruel voice that was sarcastically concerned. Brian looked at him with his own fake smile that read more like the barred teeth of an animal whose territory had been encroached upon.

“Go right ahead.” He told the stranger coolly. “We have room.”

We did not have room. If the monstrous man sat next to me, I would be flush against him, something that would without a doubt send me spiraling into a panic attack. I felt my breathing increase.

The man laughed. “Are you sure?” He said it in a way that sounded like he would sit down even if there wasn’t room. Suddenly, I felt hands underneath thighs and a pair of muscled, tattooed, tan arms lifted me up. I squeaked before I felt myself being placed on a warm, familiar lap. Brian had lifted me up and made me sit on his legs before he wrapped an arm around me waist snugly. In my state of shock, I vaguely remembered him telling me to play along with whatever he did, and the pinch in my side was reminder enough. I tried my best to make my face look calm and affectionate as I reclined back onto his chest. I turned my head and buried it in the side of his neck and smelled it, the smell of cigarettes, cologne and hair gel calming me down immensely. I felt Brian smile and his other arm wrapped around me and fiddled with the hem of my shirt as he rubbed the skin of my hip. The warmth radiating from his chest was comforting and the way he was rubbing my hip sent a pleasant tingle down my leg. The man chuckled darkly and sat down, stabbing a piece of potato mercilessly with his knife before placing it in his mouth, never taking his eyes from mine.

I snuggled down into Brian, thanking him silently for putting a physical barrier between the giant man and myself.

“So...” the man started. “Who’s this?” He turned to look at me with a dirty, lecherous grin. Brian seemed alarmingly at ease as he kissed my temple and said,

“This is Zacky.”

“Just Zacky?” The man said silkily, asking with two words what I was to Brian.

“Sorry.” Brian said quickly. “My Zacky.” He said in a hard voice that told whoever this monster next to me was to fuck off.

“I don’t see your name on him anywhere.” He said, his eyes looking me up and down like a desperate man sizes up a whore on the street corner.

“Don’t you?” Brian sounded fakely surprised. “I guess I’ll have to make it clearer then.” I thought I was doing a convincing job at following whatever Brian was doing and was about to mentally congratulate myself until I felt a pair of lips ghost over my shoulder and skim back across my neck before settling on the joint where they met. Warm lips burned into my skin and Brian began to give little licks and kisses. As soon as my brain unfroze and registered what he was doing I began to squirm trying to get away, panicking. Brian’s arms tightened around my middle and his kisses trailed up my neck languidly, before he made his way up my ear. He pulled the lobe into his hot mouth and sucked on it.

“Go with it please, Zacky.” He whispered urgently to me. Something inside me told me to go with what Brian was doing, that he was doing it for a reason. My agreement came out in a shaky moan. If I had opened my mouth for a proper answer I would have thrown up. I gave a little nod, pretending like he was talking dirty to me and was thankful my panting could be taken as arousal, not hyperventilating in panic. I felt him grin devilishly against my skin and nibble his way back down.

When he got back to the spot he sucked harder. A bubble of pleasure erupted within me unexpectedly causing me to shiver and moan involuntarily. I felt my body slacken in Brian’s grip and I rolled my head to the side giving Brian more room. Where the fuck was this coming from? And why did it have to feel so goddamn good? Brian bit down hard and sucked one last time before pulling back and lapping at my heated skin and newly marked neck.

“JESUS DUDE!” Jimmy screamed, leaning across the table. “That’s fuckin’ huge!” Brian smirked and turned back to the man.

“Anything else I can help you with?” He asked sweetly. The man’s face darkened horribly and he stood up angrily. He stared at Brian with a murderous look burning in his eyes and he took the knife that was clenched in his white knuckled hand and stabbed it in the table, where it stood embedded into the wood.

After he stormed off, I turned to Brian, my anger mixing with my fear and the lingering pleasure from his lips causing my words to come out harsher. My hands wouldn't stop shaking.

“What the fuck are you doing Brian?” I threw myself out of his grip and tumbled back onto the bench. His eye turned menacing and he was becoming visibly more enraged.

“I’m fucking protecting you, Zacky! What does it look like I’m doing?” He hissed at me, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "And don't fucking take that goddamn tone with me! I just saved your ungrateful, undeserving fat ass!" Some part of my mind registered that a violent Brian was about to erupt in a close vicinity to myself and I was relieved it wouldn’t let me retort. Instead I bearly squeaked out an,

“I’m going back to the room.” And quickly scrambled out of the booth and striding my way out of the cafeteria. I didn’t notice my plate going cold on the table among everyone else’s, nor did I feel people’s eyes burrowing into my back. I could only feel the way my heart was racing and the way my breaths refused to even out and the way my body felt alive on fire. My pulse was singing with Brian’s touches, even as he stabbed my heart at the same time.

I was stupid. Why did I think Brian liked me? He just wanted to mark his territory and prove he was the bigger, stronger, alpha male by using me. He didn’t want me. He would never want me. Everything was in his own best interest and what I wanted was left to wither and die. I wandered into my room with eyes clouded by tears and misery and slumped against the wall. I slid down like the broken child I was and cried. As I did, I realized I was only a piece being manipulated through a viscous game of lies and power until someone got what they wanted. I didn’t want to play anymore.