Love's Not A Competition

When he pulled into the parking lot of the nearest shopping mall I sighed. I didn’t have that much money but I knew that I had to find something for everybody. We spilt up and all went out separate ways. We had planned to meet back in two hours in the food court. I walked slowly towards a store. I had sorted out a list in my mind of what I was going to buy everyone. A book of cheers for Brittney, a football shaped clock for Aidan, perfume for Katie and a jersey of Eric’s favorite soccer team. I had no idea what to buy Zeke but hopefully I would see something as I was walking around. Otherwise I would just ask Katie and Brittney. I found the clock and soccer jersey quite easily and was heading to the book store when I saw Zeke and Aidan walking out of a lingerie store. I quickly ran into the nearest shop so they wouldn’t see me and ran into Katie.

“Hey, why are you in such a hurry?” she asked.
“Ah, I saw a sale,” I lied.

I quickly walked off and found a book store. They had the book I wanted and I purchased it. Three people down and only two to go. I walked around the shopping mall, window shopping. I still hadn’t found anything for Zeke and it was only while I was buying perfume for Katie that I remembered the name of his favorite cologne. I didn’t find it in the store but I had asked the lady behind the counter and she said that they sold it at Macy’s. I had only half an hour left before I was meant to be meeting the others and quickly hurried to the other side of the mall where Macy’s was. I found the men’s cologne area and immediately found the one I wanted.

Ten minutes and a big chunk out of my bank account later I walked towards the food court. Everyone was already sitting down at a table and I smiled as I reached them.
“Did you get everything?” Brittney asked.
“Yeah, I hope so,” I said.

After we had had something to eat we headed back to the dorm buildings. I made Zeke stand outside while I placed the presents I had brought in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I opened the door and Zeke made me wait outside. When he opened the door he looked deflated, exhausted. He lay down on his bed and I climbed up the ladder to mine.

“Can I ask something?” Zeke asked.
“Sure,” I said.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Uh, I’m thinking about the holidays.”
“What about them?”
“Well, I mean we are all going to be staying here so what are we going to do for two weeks?”
“We will do whatever we want to do.”
I rolled my eyes and turned onto my side.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked.
“I guess.”

There was a silence. I didn’t know what I really wanted to ask but I wanted to say something, anything at all to keep the conversation going.
“What did you buy for Katie?” I asked, changing my mind at the last second.
“Oh, uh, just some things.”
He sounded like I had caught him off guard. I guess he wasn’t expecting that question to come out of my mouth either. I didn’t want to ask about Katie. I didn’t want to know details of their relationship. It hurt too much to know anything.
“What did you buy Eric?” he asked.
“A soccer jersey,” I said.

There was an odd feeling in the room and I wasn’t sure what it was or how to fix it. Was it embarrassment? Was it awkwardness? Or could it be jealousy? The odd feeling seemed to deepen as the silence grew. I finally cleared my throat and climbed down the ladder. My hand was on the door handle when he spoke.

“Where are you going?” he asked quietly.
“To see Brittney,” I lied.

I walked out of the room before he could say anything else. The days were becoming shorter as it became colder. The sun was just setting behind the horizon as I reached the athletics track. This was my place. This is the place where I feel the safest. I felt like I didn’t have to put on a smile or look happy here. I walked over to the bleachers and lay down on one, looking up at the darkening California sky.

“You’re going to catch a cold.”
I sat up and frowned at Eric. He sat down beside me and I leant my head on his shoulder. We sat like this for a while, not saying anything.
“Do you think that everything would be different if I hadn’t been his roommate?” I asked.
“Probably but aren’t you happy that you are?”
“Sort of but it just hurts to see him with someone else.”
“He will come to realize that you are the right girl for him and when that does happen you will look back at this moment and laugh at your doubt.”
“You really think I’m good enough for him?”
“I think that he’s good enough for you.”

I smiled shyly and stood up, grabbing Eric’s hand. We walked back to the dorm building and it was when we were entering the lounge that I realized that I was still holding his hand. I dropped it but I could see Katie and Brittney staring at us from the other side of the room. I said a quick goodbye to Eric and walked out of the lounge. I had just reached the stairs when they each grabbed an arm. They led me upstairs and into Brittney’s room.

“What was that for?” I asked, rubbing my arms.
“What were you and Eric up to?” Brittney asked.
“Nothing, we were just talking.”
“It seemed like more than that to me,” Katie said.
“Friends are allowed to hold hands,” I huffed.
“Not like that they don’t, you two weren’t just holding hands. There was more to it.”
“You guys read too much into this stuff,” I sighed.
“Oh no, no, no, you see we are experts and what we saw wasn’t just holding hands.”
“Well you must be broken or something because that’s all it was.”
I was getting defensive but I knew that I was right and they were wrong.
“Do you like Eric?”
“As a friend,” I said.

“Are you sure you aren’t crushing on him?” Brittney asked.
“Yes, I’m absolutely positive that I am not crushing on Eric.”
“Then who are you crushing on?” Katie asked.
“What? Nobody,” I lied, nearly caught off guard.

Brittney knew I was lying but she wouldn’t say anything with Katie around since it was Katie’s boyfriend that I was crushing on. The room went silent and I slumped against the wall by the door. I had expected Brittney to be dragging me off somewhere roughly but I never suspected it from Katie. My arm still hurt from where her fingers had gripped my arm. She had obviously been spending too much time with Brittney. She was rubbing off on her.

“You will never guess what,” Brittney said after a while.
“What?” I sighed.
“The dorm head is hiring out a hotel room in the city so we can have a Christmas party,” she said.
“When is this happening?”
“On Friday, it’s only for second and third years. Isn’t that cool?” she asked.
“Yeah, sure,” I said.

I couldn’t believe that Christmas was only two weeks away. This was everyone’s last week before school let out then we would have two weeks holiday with Christmas in the middle weekend. Katie had told us that she was staying here during the holidays yesterday so it would be the six of us and a few other kids who were staying here for the holidays.

“So what are you going to wear to the party?” Katie asked Brittney.
She went into the closet and came out with a pile of dresses.
“One of these,” she said. “You can borrow one if you want, Jasmine.”
“Ah, sure thing,” I said, my mind on other things.

I shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts. I didn’t mind that everyone was staying behind. It would be better than being here all on my own. It was just that I didn’t want them to think that they had to stay when they could be at home having a great time instead.
I looked at the pile of dresses and saw a few that I liked but I wouldn’t want to wear them to a party. They looked too fancy and too expensive.

“What about this one?” Katie said, holding a dress up against her.
“That looks fabulous,” Brittney said.
I nodded my head in agreement and Brittney held up one.
“I quite like this one,” she said. “But I also like this one.”
I rolled my eyes. This was typical Brittney.
“Why don’t you flip a coin?” I asked.

This is what she usually does and she grabbed her purse before fishing out a coin. She tossed it in the air and we all watched as it went tumbling to the ground. Brittney bent down and picked it up.
“Heads,” she said.
“The gold one it is then,” Katie said.
Brittney beamed and then they both turned to look at me. I sighed loudly but shook my head.
“I’m tired and have homework to do; can we do this some other day?”

They both agreed and I walked out of the room before they changed their minds. When I reached my own room I found Zeke’s curtains closed. I peeked through a slit and saw that he was sleeping soundly. I smiled at his innocent looking face before climbing up to my own bed. I had lied about having homework to do and buried myself under my comforter.