Love's Not A Competition

It was around two in the morning when I heard Zeke come into the room. He was trying to be quiet but I was already awake and it didn’t really matter. His head popped up in front of mine and we stared at each other for a few minutes before he smiled. He patted my head before disappearing. Was he drunk? I pushed it to the back of my mind before closing my eyes and forcing myself to fall asleep.

It was two days later and I was completely and utterly bored out of my mind. All I could do was read a book or watch the tiny television in the lounge or work out in the gym or talk to the others. I didn’t do any of those things though. I sat in one of the armchairs in the lounge and stared at a wall while everyone else lazed around doing mundane stuff. Brittney and Aidan were in the computer room and Zeke and Eric were playing a game of cards a few feet away from me. Katie was listening to her ipod on the other side of the room. As I stared at the wall I wasn’t thinking.

My mind was completely blank and I wasn’t even seeing anything clearly. I felt something hit my head and looked in the direction of Eric and Zeke. They were eating some candy and had thrown some at me. I walked over and sat down with them. I grabbed the bag and stole some of their candy. Eric dealt the cards. We were playing go fish. It was the only game they knew how to play except for snap.

After one round I was bored again so we played snap instead. It wasn’t much better and soon Katie joined in. We were yelling at each other by the time that Brittney and Aidan came in.
“What’s going on?” Brittney asked.
“Eric cheated!” we all yelled.
“What were you playing?”
“Snap,” Katie said quietly.
“How do you cheat in snap?”
“He just did,” I huffed.

Eric was grinning like a school boy and put some more candy into his mouth. I picked up the cards and threw them at him. I wasn’t a very good sport when it came to cheating. He stared at me with a funny gleam in his eyes. He grabbed a handful of candy and threw them at me. Everyone ran for cover and I quickly rolled behind one of the sofas. I combat crawled over the carpet and headed for the other side of the room. I saw the others hiding behind other pieces of furniture and grinned at them as I went past. I sat up against one of the armchairs in the corner and stayed there. I heard a squeal. It was Brittney being showered in candy from Eric. I had a few pieces stuck in my hair and down my top so I pulled them out.

“Nice.”
I turned and glared at Zeke who was a few armchairs away. He had seen me reaching down my top to get the candy out. I threw one at him but threw the others in the direction I thought Eric was in.

We all came out after Eric had run out of candy to throw at us. We picked up all the ones on the ground and threw them in the trash. I flopped onto a sofa and put my legs over the armrest. Everyone else went to the cafeteria for lunch and I only saw one pair of feet left. They walked over to me and I looked up at Zeke’s face. He knelt down beside my head and smiled slowly.

“I know you said that I had to do something about this but I don’t know what to do,” he whispered.
“What do you want?”
“Right at this moment or in long term?” he asked.
“Right at this moment,” I said.
“I want you to close your eyes.”

I did and his hand rested gently on my cheek before he was kissing me again. It seemed weird that we would be doing this in a very open place but I knew that nobody would walk in and if they did the back of the sofa was blocking us from view of the door. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck. When I pulled back he rested his forehead against mine.

“Tell me what to do,” he whispered.
“I can’t. We both know that you have to make that decision on your own.”
He kissed me lightly on the cheek before standing up and walking out of the room. Well, I thought, that was interesting. I didn’t know what to think about it though. He liked me, I think, but he was with Katie and still liked her, I think. I don’t know anymore.

Christmas Eve, what a dark and gloomy day it had always been but now it seemed alright with my friends by my side instead of my family. I had woken up with a small smile tugging on my lips. I was excited and nervous. What do you expect from a day that you never really enjoyed? I beamed at the others when I walked into the practically deserted cafeteria. They all beamed back and I sighed pleasantly as I sat down.

“You sure are in a good mood,” Katie said.
“It’s a new day, its Christmas Eve and its lovely.”
“Are you high?” Eric asked.

I poked my tongue at him and went back to smiling. They laughed at my bright smile and I went to get some toast. When I came back I saw that Zeke had joined the table. I sneaked glances at him as I nibbled on my toast. We hadn’t spoken since we had kissed in the lounge. It had been painfully silent in our room at night when we were all alone. I knew that we both had things to say but couldn’t find the right words.

“What are we going to do today then?” Katie asked.
“We could always open presents early,” Eric said.
“That would take the fun out of Christmas,” Brittney said.
“We could stand outside in the rain and wish for snow,” Aidan said.
“Impossible,” they all sighed.
Zeke and I hadn’t said anything yet.
“We could go and see a movie,” Brittney said.

They all agreed and I nodded my head slowly. A movie would be alright. I didn’t have to speak to anybody in a movie and I definitely didn’t have to look at Zeke during the movie. I would sit as far away from him as I could. We finished our breakfast and walked to the theatre. There weren’t any good movies but we chose one anyway. I didn’t pay enough attention to the seating arrangements and ended up sitting next to Zeke on the end. I stood up so I could move but he grabbed my arm and sat me back down. I looked at him but he was staring straight ahead at the screen.

“Why do you do this to me?” I whispered in his ear as the movie started.
“I’m not doing anything,” he said, finally turning to look at me.
“Exactly, you aren’t doing anything.”
“Look, its complicated right now and I don’t know what I’m doing but I’m not trying to mess with you. I promise,” he whispered.
I looked away and sank down in my chair. If he wasn’t trying to mess with me, what was he trying to do?

The movie seemed to drag on. I couldn’t concentrate. I didn’t even try. When we finally got back to the dorm building I was more confused than ever before. My mind was trying to understand what Zeke had said but I was just going around in circles. I needed to talk to Brittney; she was the only one who could possibly understand. I cornered her in her room after dinner. She smiled up at me and I sat down beside her. I took a deep breath before explaining everything. I told her about the secret kisses, the things he had said and the way I felt. When I was finished I was nearly in tears. I was so frustrated. I didn’t know what to think anymore.

“It seems that Zeke really does like you,” she said finally.
I looked at her and frowned. “That’s it?”
“Well, I’m just saying. Anyway, you can’t do anything about it because he is with Katie.”
“You don’t think I know that already? I don’t want him to hurt her because of me.”
“You should wait until he makes his decision. Maybe you should stay in my room with me for a while.”

“But wouldn’t that just cause suspicion?”
“No, just tell anyone who asks that you and Zeke had a fight. Everyone already knows that you guys hate each other. Which isn’t true anymore, I guess,” she said.
“You aren’t angry at me, are you?”
“Why would I be angry?”
“Because I’ve been sneaking around with Zeke behind everyone’s back and I didn’t tell you about it.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’ve told me now.”
I smiled and she hugged me. We both stood up and walked to my dorm room. Zeke was just walking out of the bathroom and he nodded at us. I grabbed the duffel bag that I usually used for track meets from under the bottom bed and started putting some clothes in it.
“What’s going on?” Zeke asked.
I looked up at him sadly but didn’t say anything. He turned to Brittney and she sighed.
“Jasmine’s going to stay in my room for a while,” she said.
“Why?”

“Because she wants to spend some quality time with me,” Brittney lied.
“If that were true she would have told me herself. What’s really going on here?”
“It’s as Brittney says. I want to spend some quality time with her,” I said quietly, not looking up.

I zipped up the bag and grabbed my pillow before finally turning to face Zeke. He was angry, I could see it in his eyes but he didn’t say anything as we walked out of the room.
“That was harder than I expected,” I sighed when we reached her room.
“I seriously thought he was going to grab you and tie you up so I couldn’t take you away.”
“He might’ve if you weren’t so scary,” I giggled.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. You’re in here now.”
“Oh no, I forgot the gifts that I’d brought for everyone!”

I quickly ran out of the room and back to my room. I knocked but nobody answered. I opened the door. The room was empty. Could he have gone out? I grabbed the presents from the hiding place and took them back to Brittney’s room. I had hoped that Zeke would be there so I could apologize for ditching him.