Better Off Dead

I stared at my reflection, debating on whether or not I was pleased with what I saw. Murky brown-green eyes gazed back at me, framed by dark, lush eyelashes. They were coated with mascara, smoky eye shadow, and mascara; unnecessary but boosted my self confidence just a bit. My plump red lips were formed in a pout and when I smiled, my straight, white teeth almost made a ‘ting’ sound. I fluffed my curled dirty blonde hair one last time before straightening my black, silky top and grabbing my purse off my desk.

As I walked to the top of the stairs, I smiled as I saw Braxton, my boyfriend of three years. I practically flew down the stairs and into his arms, all the while giggling like a school girl.

Tonight, he was taking me to go see ZOMBIES: the prequel. It was kind of a tradition; we would go see every scary movie that came out ever since we were just friends in junior high. Who could pass up a good ‘ole gory movie?

“Hey sexy,” I murmured, kissing him softly.

“Back at ‘cha gorgeous,” He winked. I laughed and looped arms with him.

Braxton led me to his baby; a 2011 Focus Coupe painted a metallic red, which happened to be his favorite color. We both went in the car and sat down. I stroked the leather seats, a habit I earned when he first got it. I frowned when he didn’t put his seatbelt on.

“Hon, why don’t you put your seatbelt on?” I asked, turning on the radio to Harvester of Sorrow by Metallica. I drummed my fingers to the beat on the seat, looking at him expectantly with an eyebrow raised.

He scoffed, “The movie theater is only, like, a block away. I’m sure nothing will happen.”

I rolled my eyes, but an uneasy feeling began to set in my stomach. I was deathly afraid of car crashes. Even though it was a one in ten chance it could happen to me, the thought still scared me. What if you had no way out and the gas leaked and you had to blow up with your beautiful (or crappy, in my case) car?

Shivers ran up my spine, just thinking about it.

Braxton turned up the music a bit, nodding his head to the beat. He, too, was a big rock/heavy metal fan as I was. That was one of the things I loved about him.

“So how does it feel to be this,” He made a small gap between his pointer finger and thumb, “Close to graduating?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know…It’s awesome! I’ve waited four long, stressful years, and I cannot wait. Oh it’s gonna be so nice to see you every day at college.”

He frowned, his eyes on the dark road, “About that, babe…”

“And we’re right by your grandpa Gorge, so we can visit him too. Oh, I just love him! He’s so cute. Like a stuffed dog, though. Oh, I just wanna put him in my pocket and save him for later! And-”

“Babe,” He interrupted my rambling. “I have to tell you something…”

I waited.

He cleared his throat, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he gulped. Uh-oh. It was going to be something bad.

“Um, well, I got a letter today in the mail. From Harvard. There was a cancellation or something, and they said that they would be honored if I came to their college.”

I sat, numb. So, he was going to leave me? After all these years?

Stop, it’s a great opportunity for him! Part of me shouted.

But, what about me? Doesn’t he care about me?

The voice didn’t answer. So, I decided to suck it up.

“That’s great!” I gave him a fake smile. “Oh, babe I’m so proud of you!”

He glanced at me. “So, you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be? It’s not like we’re breaking up.”

“Right,” He murmured, turning up the music even louder when Violent Pornography by System of a Down came on.

I took his hand from the steering wheel and kissed it, smiling softly at him. He smiled back and leaned over, giving me a quick kiss, his eyes quickly returning to the road.

When we arrived at the movie theaters, I stayed in the car, pulling on his hand when he tried to step out of the car. He gave me a questioning look but soon realized when I gave him a passionate kiss on his lips. He kissed back enthusiastically, his lips moving with mine. I put my rested my hands on the back of his neck, playing with his hair slightly, making him only kiss me harder.

The kiss soon turned more intense when his hands ran up and down my sides, and he moved closer to me, bringing me up in his lap in the front seat. Suddenly he was everywhere all at once; his hands groping almost every inch of my body.

“Braxton…” I murmured, trying to pull away from him to no avail. “Stop.”

Braxton didn’t stop though.

I raised myself off of him and held his hands together.

“Stop,” I shouted. I pushed myself off of him and sat in the passenger seat, scowling as I crossed my arms across my chest and looked out the window, happy that there were only a few cars in the parking lot. It would be way too embarrassing if anyone saw us like that.

“Babe,” He coaxed, caressing my arm. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, sorry isn’t gonna cut it this time, bub,” I snapped, glaring at him. “If I say I’m not ready, that means I’m not ready!”

“C’mon, Lyn!” He groaned, putting his hands over his face and leaning his head back on the seat. After a few minutes of sitting in complete and utter silence he looked at me, and opened his door. “We’re gonna miss the movie.”

“Forget it,” I murmured, close to tears. I didn’t want to spend my last few days like this, fighting with him. Tonight was going from fun and carefree to total disaster real quick. “Just take me home.”

“Babe-”

“Take me, the fuck home!” I yelled, as if he were a five year old.

Without another word, he closed the door and started the car again, turning the music off completely, leaving us in quiet stillness, an awkward feeling clearly present.

Humiliation and sadness turned to anger in a matter of a minute. Who the hell did he think he was? I was not just some whore he could use and drop. Maybe he was going to cheat on me as soon as he got into college. He’s done it before. But, being the fool I am, I took him back.

“Lynnie,” He started again. “I honestly don’t see what’s wrong with hooking up with the girl I love, when I’m going away in a few days.”

“It’s wrong when you do it in the middle of a public parking lot!”

“No one was even there, though!”

We started driving through a secret road, one we found when we went hiking before. Trees were everywhere, making it even harder to drive through when it was nighttime.

I threw my hands up in the air, giving him an incredulous look. “Someone could have come through! What if the police happened to come along? What if, little kids saw, you moron?”

“At eight o’clock at night on a school night?” He looked doubtful. “It’s not like you haven’t done anything like that before. I’ve hooked up in a car.”

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. How on earth would he get out the stain…? (Get your mind out of the gutter, Em.)

I stared at him, serious. “I’m a virgin, Braxton. You think that I would wanna loose my V-card in the back of your crappy little car?”

He looked outraged, a funny look on his face. Normally I would have laughed at any other circumstance, but right now was serious.

“Don’t you dare insult my baby!” He shouted. After a few seconds, he processed what I said. “Wait, you’re a virgin?”

“Yeah, I’m not a whore like you!” I said, still pissed off.

His grip tightened on the steering wheel and he sped up.

“I’m a man, sweet-“

It was then, I noticed he wasn’t looking at the ‘road’, but his glare was fixated on me. With one look at the small dirt road, I screamed and shouted at Braxton, “Get your eyes on the road! Watch out!” A large black wolf had run into the middle of the dirt road immediately halting when it saw our large vehicle in fear. Braxton quickly looked just in time to swerve to the left. I let out another scream as the car tumbled off the trail, crashing down the hill.

Random objects like CD’s, cups, maps, and papers flew around, occasionally knocking into me. I grasped onto the car, anything to catch a hold of myself. Suddenly we collided into a massive oak tree, the brand-new car bent up and set on its side, almost like a broken toy; with broken Barbie dolls inside.

I gasped with pain and managed to unbuckle myself, landing into what was left of the window on the side of my side of the car. Somehow, large pieces of broken glass cut into my side, making large amounts of blood pour out of me. I let out a gust of air, my vision blurry.

I needed to get out of the car. If the gas leaked, then I was screwed. I looked around wildly, noticing that Braxton wasn’t in the car. Where was he? With cold realization, I remembered that he hadn’t had his seatbelt on when we crashed.

Oh, no.

Immediately, I managed to pull myself out of the damaged car, getting even more cuts from broken glass. With my body lying on the cold ground, I dragged myself away from the car, whimpering and sobbing with fear, and pain like a baby.

After what seemed like forever, I stopped with exhaustion. Before I fell into darkness, I remembered one thing:

A pair of beautiful brown eyes.