My World Went Black

“Zacky, do you still-- love me?” he ask, chocolate orbs locked on my jaded.

Laughter escaped my lips, “I love you as much as my anxiety.”

He walked over to the window and looked out into the early mourning sky, “I deserve it, but you need to understand--”

“Brian, you had the choice to do it or not. You had the choice to stop this, but you didn’t. Do you get it?! Your life isn’t control, but you made it seem like Steve held a remote in his hands and moved you around like a toy dog.” I spat.

He shook his head, “He was going to hurt someone.”

I rolled my eyes, “Now how did that turn out?”

He watched the sunrise for a moment, “He hurt you. I’m sorry-- Zacky, but--”

“Your sorry?! Your sorry?!” I scoffed, “Are you sorry for gambling underage? Are you sorry for drinking underage? Are you sorry for losing? Tell me what are you sorry for.”

“Shut up Baker! I’m sorry for everything okay! I didn’t mean to get you into this mess and Hailey, but I can’t change anything now.” he turned around and clutched his fist, a blood vein poked out of his neck.

I shook my head, “Your no better than Steve. You might have a softer side than Steve, but not enough to make you a real person. Does Jimmy know?”

A hard blow hit the side of my jaw, “Shut up! Jimmy doesn’t know anything, and he won’t and you can’t tell anyone.”

I starred at the man in front of me, his black, messy, long hair, his chocolate eyes, and his smile made me sick, “I won’t.”

“I can’t take chances, I brought you here to my house for one reason and one reason only. One, to tell you the truth ‘cause I couldn’t take it anymore Zack! It was eating me alive, and the fact that I’m in love with you, doesn’t help the lies I kept from you.” he was pleading.

“If you love me, then why are you telling me this?” in someway I was still in love with him, but I knew I had to let it go.

He punched a wall, “I couldn’t tell, Jimmy, because he wouldn’t understand. He wasn’t there. You were, and you know how bad Steve is, and love mean no lies.”

I didn’t say know what to say. Brian, wasn’t like Steve, he didn’t rape people, and he never tried. He never meant to hurt me the way Steve had. I knew he was going to kill me, but to be honest, I would rather be killed by the man that I loved, then a stranger.

Brian paced around the room a little before opening the closet, but moved quickly, “Zacky? I want to ask you something.”

“Go for it.” I pulled on the restrains a little, but what was the point. My hourglass was almost up.

“Would you rather be shot by me or OD?” he question, with little emotion in his voice.

“Shot me.” I replied.

He nodded and pulled out a gun, “I’m going to shot you, and then I’m going to shot myself. “ he step closure to the bed and creased my cheek, “I don’t want to feel the bugs eating me anymore, and I don’t want you to be alone.”

I nodded, “I love you, Bri.”

A tear escaped his eye, “Do you forgive me?”

I nodded eagerly, “You are the only one allow to murder me.”

He nodded slowly, the barrel of the gun touch my chest, it was icy cold through my thin shirt. I starred at his chocolate eyes, but they shut close and a sob escaped his lips. His finger latched on the trigger, and he let more sob escaped his lips.

“Don’t cry, baby, you’ll join me soon.” I cooed.

He nodded, and pulled the trigger. A loud shot was hear for miles, and I felt my heart being pushed backwards into the back of my rib cage. My vision was fogging up into darkness, and loud sobs echoed through the small bedroom.

“Zacky, I’m--sorry, but-- remember that-- I fucking--love you.” lips pressed against mine, my heartbeat slowed.

I open my eyes for the last time, “Brian…I--love..you…too.” my voice rang out slowly, and the darkness carried me away. Only to be reminded of my first, and only love Brian Elwin Haner Jr.