Sloppy Love Jingles

“You don't have to do this.” Keegan said to herself. “You can start up the car ad drive away.” She was sitting behind the wheel of her car, contemplating whether or not to go inside the small coffee shop to talk to Zacky. Somehow, he managed to persuade her into meeting him, so that they can talk. She wasn't up for it. Chloe was the one who agreed to it.

“I'm sick of you walking around here like someone ran over your dog.” she said. “Get your ass up and go see the asshole.”

So that's what she's doing. She going to see the asshole. She was terrified more than anything. Zacky's a sweet talker. He knew just what to say to make her forgive him. She didn't want to forgive him, she wanted to hate him some more. Even it if was just for a little while longer. She didn't want him to make her forgive him like he did last time. She could see Zacky there sitting near the window at a table by himself. His face was hard. Like it usually was when he was deep in thought. His lips were moving, just slightly, like he was rehearsing something. No, doubt what he was going to say to her. “Might as well get this over with.” Keegan sighed. She took a deep breath and stepped out of her car. It felt like she was walking to her death. The closer she got to Zacky, the less alive she felt. Get back in your car. She thought. He hasn't seen you yet, get back in your car. But for some reason, her legs kept pushing her forward. They pushed her from her car, they pushed her past entrance the doors, and right to Zacky. He stood up when he saw her, a hint of a smile on his lips.

“I was wondering when you were going to come in.” he said softly. Keegan frowned a bit as she sat down.

“You knew I was out there?” She asked. Zacky sat down and nodded. “Why didn't-”

“I wanted to see if you were going to come in on your own.” Keegan looked down at the table. Being this close to Zacky, and not hitting him, was a hard thing to do. She started to wonder why she even came here. “You hungry?” Zacky asked her. Keegan shook her head. “You want something to drink?” He asked. “Want some coffee?”

“No Zacky.” Keegan sighed. “Can we just... get this over with?” The look on Zacky's face nearly crushed her. He looked defeated. They haven't even started to really talk and he was already beat. “Not trying to be rude or anything,” Keegan said. “whatever you have to tell me, just tell me.”

“All right.” He sighed. “Um... I'm sorry.” It was quiet for a few seconds before Keegan sighed.

“That's what you wanted to tell me?” She asked him. “You made me come down here so you could tell me what I've already heard.”

“Keegan-”

“You couldn't have told me that over the phone?”

“You're not answering my calls.” Zacky reminded her.

“With good reason.” She huffed. “If it wasn't for Chloe, I wouldn't be here.”

“Keegan I didn't want to argue with you.” He sighed. “I wanted to apologize-”

“Again.” She sighed.

“-and try to make things right between us.” Zacky said. Keegan could care less.

“I'm not interested in making things right, Zacky.” They were both silent again for a long moment. Keegan was trying to cool down. She went from zero to pissed in under a minute. Something only Zacky could make her do.

“How have you been?” He asked in an eager attempt to change the subject.

“Bitter.” Keegan answered. The subject change didn't help at all.

“Want to know how I've been?” Zacky asked. Keegan shook her head.

“Nope.”

“I've been just as miserable as you Keegan.” he said. “If not worse.” Keegan didn't respond, she didn't care to. She wanted him to squirm. She wanted him to sit there and wonder what she was thinking. Because she couldn't believe that he had been as miserable as she had been. There's no way in hell. Not while he was off at the other side of the world having the time of his life, with some girl. “Keegan...” Zacky said as he reached over the table to take a hold of her hands. She recoiled quickly, put her hands under the table and sat up in her seat.

“I think I do want some coffee,” she said. Zacky nodded with that same defeated look again. Keegan looked out the window as Zacky asked the waitress for some coffee. Leave. She thought. You don't want to be here.

“I miss you Keegan.” Zacky admitted. “Everyday.”

“I know.” Keegan said. It wasn't the answer Zacky was hoping for, and she knew it. “I'm not going to say I don't miss you... but I'm not going to say I do.”

“Tell me what I can do to make it better.” He said. “I could keep saying I'm sorry, but it's not doing any good.” He almost smiled. It almost made Keegan smile, which made her upset. “You know what I really miss?” He asked her. Keegan looked up at him. He was smiling that smile that made her legs turn to pudding. “McDonalds,” he said.

“McDonalds?” Keegan smiled. “You can go to McDonalds without me.” she laughed.

“I could,” he said nodding. “but I don't. Don't go to McDonalds, or the movies, or parties. I haven't been to a party in a while Keegan.”

“That's so lame Zacky.” Keegan said looking back down.

“Why?” He asked.

“Zacky-”

“You gonna drink your coffee?” He asked her. Keegan looked down. She hadn't realized that it was even there. She reached over and grabbed some sugar. “I am sorry Keegan.” he said. This caused Keegan to rip open the sugar packet with more force than needed. More sugar ended up on the table than it did in her cup.

“I wish you would stop saying that.” Keegan sighed as she reached for another packet of sugar. “No matter how many times you say it, it won't take back what you've done.”

“I know,” Zacky said. “I wish I could take it back though. I wish I could take it all back.” Keegan stirred her coffee as calmly as she could. Hearing Zacky talk about what he did, even if he was regretting it, was tearing her insides to shreds.

“Why'd you do it, Zacky?” She asked. “If you're so, bent out of shape over it now, why did you do it?”

“I don't know,” he said. “I...”

“You just did it.” It was more of a statement than a question.

“If you would've came with me in the first place-”

“Now it's my fault?” Keegan asked.

“No,” he said quickly. “no, it's not your fault. I'm just saying...”

“I'm sorry you can't control yourself Zacky.” She said harshly just before taking a sip of her coffee. “You've been there with me through so much, and you didn't care enough to keep it in your pants for a while.” Zacky looked around to see a few faces looking in their direction. He almost blushed. “I've never loved somebody like I love you, Zacky.” she admitted. “In many ways, you were like my first.” her voice broke off at the last word. She could feel the lump in her throat slowly growing larger by the second. Her eyes were starting to fill with tears, and soon they were going to spill over. “People say you always remember your first love,” she sniffed. “I didn't, I can hardly remember his face.” She took a quick look up at Zacky before looking back down to the table. “I'll remember you though, Zacky. You're like my first love. I don't even consider what I had with anyone else love.” She took her hand and quickly wiped away a tear. “That's why it hurts so much. To know that you would walk all over that to get to a piece of ass...” Zacky didn't say a thing. He was shocked. He figured he hurt her, but he'd never guess that she thought so much of him. He was surprised that she could still call him her first love after what he did. “Was I not good enough for you?” Keegan asked.

“No, Keegan that's not it.”

“Obviously it was, because I thought I was doing pretty good.” She wiped away another tear and looked out the window again. “Was she prettier than me?” Keegan asked. She didn't wait for him to answer. “She better be. She better be fucking gorgeous.”

“I love you.” Zacky said. “I love you so much Keegan, and I'm sorry. I wish I could take back everything I've ever done, but I can't. I wish never hurt you. I wish I never went on that fucking tour and fucked up, but I did Keegan, and I'm sorry.” he sighed. “I know sorry doesn't mean shit to you, but that's all I got. I don't know what to do to make it all better.” He reached across the table and successfully grabbed her hands. “Tell me what to do Keegan.” he pleaded as he looked into her eyes. “Tell me what I can do.” He let go of one of her hands and brought it up to her face to wipe away another tear.

“There's nothing you can do.” she said. She reached for her coffee and and brought it up to her lips. Now that it was getting cold, she could tell how bitter it was. When she sat her cup down, Zacky reached up for her face again. This time, he let his thumb run over her bottom lip. She pulled herself away, biting down on her lip when she felt it tremble.

“I love you Keegan,” Zacky said.

“I love you too,” Keegan said. “And I miss you Zacky. I miss you so much.” For a quick second, her face lit up. “And McDonalds, and the movies. I've been to parties though.” She laughed as she wiped her face.

“I figured you have.” Zacky said. “You can't live without em'.” Keegan nodded. They sat quietly together, but they were comfortable. It wasn't like when Keegan first sat down. Zacky could tell how much the atmosphere had changed too. He leaned across the table, with no warning, and pressed his lips to Keegan's. Keegan let her eyes linger open for a while, making sure that they weren't attracting too much attention, before bringing her hands up to Zacky's face. He smiled into their kiss causing Keegan to smile as well. It almost made Keegan feel bad. She felt like she was leading him on. But she forgot about it all when Zacky took her bottom lip between his teeth. He gently nibble at her lip like he used to. It was enough to make Keegan's toes curl. She pulled away to catch her breath and try to regain her thoughts. Zacky pulled himself back into his seat with a triumphant smile.

“Fuck Zacky. You're making it hard for me to hate you.” Keegan said as she brought her hands up to her face. “All this still won't change my-”

“I want you to marry me Keegan.” Zacky said quietly. “Not now of course, but one day though. I want you to marry me, and have my kids.”

“My dad would love that.” Keegan snorted. The mention of Keegan's father made Zacky tense. She could tell.

“They probably all hate me huh?” Zacky asked.

Keegan shook her head. “I don't think they know,” she said. “But Danny hates you. I don't need to tell you how Chloe feels.” Zacky laughed. It was a bitter laugh though. He could tell that their time together was growing short. They both could.

“Come home with me Keegan,” Zacky said after grabbing her hands. “I miss you. I miss everything.” Keegan could tell by the way his lips curled up that he wasn't just talking about the trips to McDonalds.

She snatched her hands away with a sigh. “You miss sex?” She asked a little louder than she should. Again a number of eyes made their way to her table. This time Zacky did blush. “I find that really fucking hard to believe seeing as how you were with somebody while you were away. You shouldn't miss it at all.” Keegan folded her arms across her chest and huffed childishly. “Only you can make me hot one minute and cold the next.”

“So you don't miss sex?” Zacky asked as he leaned back into his seat. Keegan looked at him quickly.

“What makes you think I haven't gotten any?” She asked him. Zacky then folded his arms across his chest. It made Keegan want to smile. She watched as he clenched his jaw. “Nothin' to say?” Zacky just shrugged. Keegan nodded with a smile. “I didn't think so.”

“Why don't you come over?” Zacky asked. “I'm sure the guys would like to see you.”

“I see them enough,” Keegan said. “I'm a bit tired of them.”

“Let's go someplace then,” he said. “Just me and you.”

“Zacky, I don't think that's such a good idea. I think we've spent too much time together already.”

“Keegan-”

“I didn't come here to make up with you. As much as I wish things were different-”

“Your mind is already made up.” Zacky finished for her. Keegan nodded.

“I'm sorry,” Keegan said.

“I can't say that I blame you.” He sighed. “At least I tried.”

“I'm sorry,” Keegan said again. “I still love you though, Zacky. You know I do.” Zacky nodded as he looked down at the table. He pulled out his wallet and set a few bills down on the table.

“You ready?” He asked her. He looked up at her through his thick dark lashes before looking back down.

“Yea,” Keegan nodded. “I'm ready.” They both stood up and the same time and headed for the door. When they made it outside, Zacky grabbed her hand. They walked as slowly as they could to her car. This is how Keegan wanted it to be. Both of them going their separate ways knowing that there wasn't much of a chance for them getting back together. Now the time is here and she felt like crying.

When they stopped at her car, Keegan took a deep breath. That lump was back in her throat. “Come by and see me.” Zacky said.

“I'll think about it.” Keegan nodded.

“I wish you wouldn't do that.” Zacky said as he noticed the large pools of tears streaming down her face.

“I'm sorry,” Keegan said as Zacky wiped away her tears again.

“You should get going,” he said nodding towards her car door. He took a step towards her and wet his lips. Our last kiss. He leaned down, about to kiss her, when Keegan stopped him.

“Make it good,” she said wrapping her arms around his neck. “It may be the last one.” With that Zacky put his hands on Keegan's hips, leaned forward, and kissed her on her cheek. He could practically hear Keegan deflate. He pulled away with a smug look in his eyes.

“It won't be the last one,” he said. Keegan wrapped her arms around him a little tighter as he pulled her closer.

“I wish I could hate you Zacky.”

“I love you,” he said to her.

“I love you too.” They pulled away from each other, both with a sense of regret. Keegan turned around and unlocked her door.

“We're going on tour in a couple of months,” Zacky said just when Keegan was slipping into her seat. “You should come this time.”

“I'll think about it.” She repeated. Keegan looked up at him for a long second. She was second guessing herself. She was wondering if she made a mistake. She out stretched her arms to him for one last hug. He bent down with a subtle smile and wrapped his arms around her again. “Bye Zacky.” Keegan sighed.

“Bye sweetheart,” he said against her ear. Sweetheart. Keegan had almost forgot that. Now she wish she had. Zacky pulled away from her completely, stepped back and closed her door. The deafening sound of the car door closing almost sent Keegan over the edge. But she didn't. She'd save her tears for later.

Keegan didn't bother to even give Zacky another look as she pulled away. Just because it would be to hard for her. She didn't even bother looking in her rear view mirror as she sped off down the street. She had a feeling that Zacky was right, that wasn't going to be their last kiss. They'd probably end up kissing real soon. Most likely later on that night, when she goes to his house to let him know she's taking him back.