Wasting My Time Dreaming

Sydney

I stood beside the tour bus, three of the four All Time Low members in front of me. Rian had stormed off after the show, escaping into his bunk. Alex and Jack had tried to hide it, but I knew. It was hard not to.

The darkness had settled, the only reason I could see was because of the streetlights in the venue's parking lot. Flyzik opened the door to the bus, tapping his wrist. Zack sighed, as did Alex and Jack.

“Time to head out?” I whispered, scared for them to leave.

“Looks like it. You gonna be okay, baby cakes?” Alex asked, and I shrugged. His face morphed into a mask of sadness. “Do you wanna come with us? You can share a bunk with me! Or Jack! Or Zack!”

“Alex, this is your dream. Not mine.” I let him wrap his arms tightly around me, squeezing me into a hug. I felt the tears prick behind my eyes. I wiped them away impatiently, determined not to cry. But no matter how determined I was, I would cry.

“Promise me one thing.” I looked at him, and he held me at arm's length, a worried expression ruining his handsome features.

“Depends on what it is,” I whispered, tears rolling down my already tear streaked face. Alex wiped them away with his thumbs, and sighed.

“Try to forgot about Rian, okay? For a month or so? We just want you to be happy. Go out on a date, find someone perfect for you.”

“Alex, Rian IS perfect for me,” I whispered, burying my face in his shirt. He hugged me one last time, kissing my forehead.

“I'll call you everyday.” He waved, before stepping back and letting Zack say goodbye.

“Syd, it's all gonna be okay,” Zack whispered, hugging me tightly, his huge biceps squeezing the life out of me. “We'll knock some sense into Rian.”

“Gonna give him a knuckle sandwich?” I whispered, using me and Zack's old joke. Zack grinned.

“Just for you,” He said, and hugged me again. I didn't wanna say goodbye. Not to my boys. I squeezed my eyes shut, the tears making it hard to see. Zack kissed my forehead, and squeezed my hand, and let Jack come say goodbye. For once, Jack didn't attack me. He took my hand, and hugged me tight.

“No matter what happens, Sydney, promise me one thing. That you will never, ever, forget us. No matter how big we get, and no matter how far away we get. You will never forget us.” Jack looked at me, and I realized he was crying.

“Jack, do you think I'm going to leave you?” I asked, my tears choking me.

“That's my worst fear, Syd,” He said, wiping at his eyes with his free hand. I sobbed. “Syd, you don't understand how much we all love you. Without you, we wouldn't be living our dream. We wouldn't be the same people we are now. We wouldn't be complete. Sydney Sara Manning, without you, we'd all probably be pretty screwed up.” Jack gave a weak laugh. “But please Sydney. Don't leave. I need you. Alex needs you. Zack needs you. Rian, Rian needs you more than you could ever know.” I wiped my eyes, and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Jack, I could never leave you. Or Alex. Or Zack. Or …,” I was cut off by my tears. “I'll be waiting right here when you boys get back. I promise. And hopefully, everything will be better by then.” I squeezed his hand, and he hugged me tightly, his tears hitting my shirt.

“Jack, we gotta go,” Alex whispered, and I could tell he was about to cry.

“One more minute, Alex,” Jack said, and he released me, and wiped at his eyes. I wiped at mine, but didn't bother doing a very good job. I was definitely crying myself to sleep tonight. “I have so many things I could say to you right now, but I'll leave it 'you amaze me',” Jack said, kissing my forehead before running onto the bus. The boys waved to me, and I smiled, or tried, too, but ended up staggering back to my car in tears. On a second thought, a last goodbye of sorts, I pulled my phone out.

To RiBread Dawson:
Goodbye.