To Write Love on His Arms

PTSD

The word echoed in my head. Post-traumatic stress disorder, I knew I had it. Though I didn't know until the found me. That day was the worst day of my life. I closed my eyes and whimpered as memories instantly raced through my mind.

"Come on Lyn!" June chuckled and rolled around in the grass with Lyn copying his actions. He was farther ahead of me, but still in view. We had gone out to walk Lyn and get rid of some of her energy since she had a high energy level. June said we'd be out here for a while so I was just sitting on a blanket. I was watching them but then I got bored.

Why couldn't I be as happy as him?

My mind had started to wander and I started thinking about me and my current problems. PTSD was only one of them. Insomnia was another one, last night was the best and most sleep I had gotten in months. Anxiety, Depression, Stress. I had it all and I hated it. I hated the fucking Paranoia that crept it's way up my spine. I despised my low self-esteem and how it made me hate my looks. I was also started to turn Anorexic. When they found me, I was basically all bones but they fattened me up and helped me get over that.

That was one obstacle down but I had so much more to overcome. But I was scared. Scared and terrified of facing my fears because I didn't want to end up losing it and going crazy.

My eyes prickled with tears but I brought my hand up to wipe them. "You're such a baby Atty." Isaiah mocked.

I shook my head as I cried softly. he was right, I was just a big wimp now. I was a failure. I continued crying softly and staring at a leaf of grass. Why me? Out of everyone in the world why me? What did I do? Was I really that bad of a kid to deserve this? To deserve having to go through this.

I covered my face and cried into my hands. I'm such a child.

"Hey..." A voice said softly. I felt Lyn crawl into my lap and lick at my hands. I uncovered my face and looked up at June still sniffling away. June gave me a small smile. "Cheer up Atticus."

I shook my head and hugged Lyn. She nuzzled herself into my chest and I looked out at the sun and on going fields of grass going on for nothing but miles. I really did run far away from my home didn't I? There was no sign civilization in sight.

June knelt down in front of me. My body went rigid immediately and I stared at him cautiously. He frowned then sang softly, "You are my sunshine, my little sunshine." I sniffled and felt my body relax a bit. The words sounded so familiar. I stared at him and give him a very small subtle smile. He grinned, "There you go Sunshine."

Lyn barked and licked my face and patted her head.

"I think it's time we headed back." He said and stood up. I nodded and got to my feet. Lyn barked and ran around us a few times. I smiled at her actions and picked up the blanket I had been sitting on.

June and I started walking to his house with Lyn following close behind.

That song he sang sounded so familiar......

If only I knew where it came from.