To Write Love on His Arms

It was just two simple question, but two questions that made my mind go haywire and make every single memory come back to me full force. It pushed against my mind and easily broke through, I was swimming in them feeling every emotion and re-living every single memory from the very beginning of when my whole life had turn to crap. Back when I was just a boy, so young and naive, when I didn't know what reality really was like.

It sent me spacing off for a couple of seconds, barely breathing as the images passed through my eyes but weren't really seen in front of them. Then I began to shake. The forces from the wave of past events breaking me down and making me curl into myself. Making me weak.

"Fucking pathetic." Isaiah's voice haunted. I released a sob, because I felt that he was right. I was pathetic, I was ugly and I was just screwed up for life. No one will ever want me and I had been lucky enough to even have him around.

Then I felt the hand of someone familiar. Someone who was here, even If I wasn't strong. Someone who was kind, someone who cared. I leaned into June's touch and slid into his lap while clutching onto his shirt, because this was June. Something solid, a rock that I needed to hold onto or else I'd just lose it and go into hysterics.

I felt his hands run through my hair, momentarily halting my cries but making them come back stronger when I was reminded of how weak I was being. I sobbed harder, shaking my whole body and then I heard his angelic voice breaking through the whirlpool of thoughts I was being drowned in.

His words that soothed me and made feel as if I could get over my internal problems. But I knew it'd take a long time and just remembering the events made me want to just give into them. Let them control my life and drag me down so that each day would pass easily in pain and tears.

Then he used that soothing motion and those thoughts were pushed away. I felt his large hands rub up and down my back and all negative thoughts were thrown out the door, replaced with a dazed, drunk state of mind. A state of mind where everything was perfect, fine and peaceful.

I rested my head in his neck, my eyes half lidded and my ears listened to his voice. June was right, Isaiah was gone. I was here and I was safe and Isaiah was never coming back. I let out a a sigh and closed my eyes, breathing in June's familiar scent and relishing in his body heat.

The world was going on around us, cars buzzing by, people dieing and babies being born. Somewhere it was pouring and another was dieing in heat. Kids were learning there ABCs while others were stuck in child labor. Every being and organism was moving but I was right here.

Right here, in June's warmth and our bodies molded together like a puzzle pieces.

I was alive, and everything was going to get better.