To Write Love on His Arms

These feelings, these thoughts that bubbled up in my mind. I couldn't stop myself from looking at Atty ever couple of seconds. It was physically impossible not to look over at the adorable boy. I liked having him wear my clothes. I liked knowing that I made him laugh, that the one time he broke down I was the one who calmed him down and made him feel safe.

Do I like him?

I don't even know, I've never felt this way about someone, anyone. People have pushed me too far away for me to develop any feelings for someone. I knew I had fascination for both genders but I never got the chance to see if if I preferred one more over the other.

I quickly glanced behind me, looking over at Atticus. He was working on adding the second layer of paint to the wall, his hand moving the roller steadily. I grinned as his shortness stuck out against the high ceiling.

I sighed and looked back at the still one-layer-of-paint wall in front of me. This was too distracting. I huffed quietly. How can I tell? What do I look for to see if I even have any feelings for him?I sighed and thought about all the movies I had watched trying to mach any of the character feelings for someone to my feelings for Atticus.

How do I feel about Atticus?

I enjoy being around him, I love making him smile and knowing I'm bringing him out his shell. Then there are those moments when the emotional wounds inflicted on him are exposed even more and I can't help but feel angry and sad and just fucking guilty. Angry at the man who created Atticus into a boy with so many problems.

From ruining a bright young humans future. Just take advantage of him and morphing him into some rag doll. Tearing away the real him and leaving behind some robot. I felt immense sadness when I realized just how fragile Atty was. I was sad that someone so beautiful, so innocent, feared the world.

He had been brainwashed into thinking he was something so low, so vile. Something ugly, when in truth Atticus was the most undeniable gorgeous boy I've ever laid my eyes on. His beautiful big chocolate brown eyes and his big eyelashes. The way he has dimples when he smiles and his laughter echoes through out the room.

How he's always so cautious when round a new environment, testing out the water before jumping in. And when he's just around me and Lyn I love watching him be the true him. Just a child goofing off and giggling so much he falls to the ground and his stomach hurts for hours after. Then he comes and complains to me about his stomach pain not going away so I have to bring him into my arms and rub his stomach just to ease the pain.

Then there's that guilt I mentioned early. I feel guilty because all this stuff happened to him and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't come and save this beautiful boy from the fucking lying monster. I couldn't have taken him away sooner and he wouldn't have been so fucking broken.

"June?" Atty asked, his small hands resting on my shoulder. I spun around quickly and engulfed the petite boy in my arms. I ran my hands down his back, making him shiver and his body relax. I sighed in contentment and buried my face in his soft hair, breathing in the scent of strawberries.

"You're beautiful Sunshine." I whispered, the words escaping my mouth before I could even process them in my brain.