To Write Love on His Arms

My heart pounded, I could hear it in my head. As I looked up the room began to spin and I closed my eyes, my hand searching the space beside me. I just frowned when my boyfriend wasn't next to me, but his place was still warm. I rolled over on the bed and snuggled into the ghost of June's warmth. Lyn wiggled her way to me, licking my face and curling up my my chest. I just pet her, watching as her eyes began to close and she fell asleep.

I felt like such a mess. I felt perfectly okay yet not. As if I was going to cave in on myself. I was a building with no center no structure, about to collapse in on myself any second. After I was rescued from Isaiah I was gone, no more Atticus. I was just a soul robbed of all emotions and I didn't know what to do. My life was a constant earthquake, everything was shaking and falling; I couldn't trust myself that I'd be okay.

But then I met June and he brought back who I was. As soon as he stepped into my thoughts the unsteady earth stopped shaking and stood still. Little by little I was beginning to rebuild myself to fix my world. But when I saw Isaiah, I had back tracked. I thought the earthquakes would occure again so I ruined what I had built and waited.

But I put my trust in June. I believed him and he helped me rebuild again, but last night; an aftershock hit. Something June couldn't have stopped, no one could. The only thing I can be sure about, are my feelings for June.

I sighed and tugged at my hair. Why was I so fucking affected by Isaiah! This is stupid! He's gone! He's not comming back, so why am I so fucking destroyed? Why is it so fucking hard to leave what happened alone.

"I said I want you fucking out!" I head June yell, followed by footsteps. Lyn jumped up then, barking like mad and sprinting of the bed and out the door. "Just fucking listen to me!" A voice shouted and I felt myself freeze.