To Write Love on His Arms

"J-June..." I whimpered, opening the front door only a crack. I was fucking terrified. I had no idea what possessed me to even fucking speak. Isaiah was right there. Only a mere few feet away. "Atticus, what are you-" I cut June off though and ran to him, my small arms wrapping around his waist as I buried my face in his back, shielding my view of Isaiah.

What the fuck was I thinking? Running out here and making myself closer to the spawn of the devil. But that's the thing, I wasn't thinking. I wasn't listening when June tried prying me off and pushing me inside. I wasn't thinking when I stood in front of him and faced the man the I once had feelings for.

But I was listening when that man began to spoke. I was thinking oh so carefully at his words, chewing them over and trying to decipher their sincerity. "Atticus." Isiah whispered, looking down at me. I just looked up at him my face blank because my brain would not process what was going on. "I'm so sorry." He said, his voice cracking and his eyes catching mine.

In that second it was just Isaiah and me, just the two of us like it was in high school. And I realized something.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

It was a question asked by many, a question that made us wonder if we were all damned. If god really loved us. But the truth his God gave us our freedom. Everyone has obstacles to face, and though they aren't all the same and everyone has a different course to face. We're given these obstacles to become stronger.

Had it not been for Isaiah, I would never have met June. June who has two different colored eyes. Who's smile is as bright as the sun and when he looks at me I see nothing but adoration in his eyes. June who was my crutch when I felt hope was vacant. June, my boyfriend that had always been there and didn't leave when I almost crumbled to nothing.

"I want you to move on, okay? Be happy Atticus, forget me." Isaiah told me softly. I just stared down at my stomach, at the words that he had carved. You'll never escape me. But Isaiah was wrong, I had escaped him. And those words on my stomach are nothing but a ghost of what they meant because I did defy the odds.

"Okay." I whispered, looking down at the wood, my mind processing everything that had happen. "Take care of him, please." Isaiah said, directing the sentence to June as he slowly walked down the porch steps. I felt June put his hand on my shoulder, both of us watching as Isaiah walked down the driveway and to the forest. Once he had reached the edge he looked back at us giving a nod before he sprinted off and disappeared.

~.~

I didn't cry after that nor did I panic. In fact I just walked back inside and sat on the couch, stroking Lyn's fur and thinking things over. June had immediately made his way, asking if I was okay and after 10 minutes he finally let the subject go and went to make dinner.

I didn't feel like I had an elephant on my shoulder's nor did I feel so hollow. But things had made sense. I had overheard the conversation when June and Isaiah were on the porch and Isaiah was right. He had become a part of an endless cycle of abuse and it affected me. And that would mean that I would be part of the cycle, but I will never.

When you find real love, hurting that person never crosses your mind. I stood up slowly making my way into the kitchen where June stood in front of the stove, a pan with chicken and a pots with vegetables and rice in front of him. I stood next to him. "June." I called, causing him to hum in response. I just smiled, "look at me June-bug." I told him and he did, his whole body facing me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tippy toes and connected our lips. June wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. It was just a simple kiss, no tongue just lips on lips but it was nice. June pulled away and pulled me against him, burying his nose in my hair I smiled to myself and basked in his warmth.