‹ Prequel: Tell Me, Will It All Be Okay?
Status: Hiatus
I Feel Our Memories Fade With Time.
Stress
-Stephanie’s POV
The next day was Saturday, and even though Tyler and I went looking for a puppy, which was unsuccessful for that day, I felt stress and tension reclaim their grab on my sanity when I would think about finals. My grade in the college level Chemistry class was lower than I wanted it to be, and my grade in math wasn’t that great either, and it didn’t help that I was trying to hide my grades from Tyler so he wouldn’t worry about me. I mean, they weren’t horrible, but I wasn’t used to getting low C’s. I didn’t even understand why I had to take math and science in my first year of college when I wanted to be an English teacher, and especially since I had taken Chemistry in high school.
After Tyler and I got back from looking at a pet store down the street and then going out for lunch, we returned to the apartment. It seemed like the second we stepped through the door, Tyler had the TV on and was asking me to sit with him, but I insisted that I had to go studystudystudy some more, so I went into our room and threw myself amongst my books scattering the bed, grabbing the remote to the stereo and turning on Panic! at the Disco on. However, instead of just existing, the noise from the stereo started distracting me, which it hardly ever did, so I turned it down. Unfortunately, that didn’t help, so I ended up turning the stereo off as stress crept through my blood stream, infecting every cell in my body.
“Steph, are you alright?” Tyler asked about two hours later as he stood in the doorway and looked at me concerned. I guess you would be concerned too if you saw your girlfriend with tears streaming down her face and her hair messed up from pulling on it.
“I can’t remember the quadratic formula! I mean…I’ve known it since 8th grade; how can I forget it now?” I stared at my review pages more intently, as if it would jump out of the page at me. “I know it’s x equals the opposite of b plus or minus the square root of something over two-a, but I can’t remember that something!”
Coming over to rub my shoulders, Tyler started with, “Maybe you should take a brea-“
“I am not taking a break!” I snapped, brushing his hands off of me. “I need to study this…I need to get this down.”
“But if you over work yourse-“
He stopped when I turned to glare at him. “Look, just back off, alright?!”
“But Ste-“
“TYLER!” I threw my pen down and it bounced against my book. “What don’t you understand!? I have to memorize half of this freaking book, and I just can’t do it with you constantly trying to get me away from my studying! I. Need. To. Get. This. Down.” I knew my face was turning slightly red and that I was still slightly crying, and I knew it was freaking Tyler out a bit, but I couldn’t contain myself.
“Maybe just a sma-“
I jumped off the bed, pushing him slightly away from me. “Fine! I’ll take a break!” I slipped into my shoes and grabbed my purse and my jacket, heading for the door.
“Where are you going?” he called, following me.
Before slamming the door behind me, I answered curtly with, “out.” After slamming the door I quickly made my way outside and sat down on the cold sidewalk, crying softly into my hands. I couldn’t take the pressure of school anymore. I had been considering dropping out for a few weeks at that point, but I knew it would ultimately hurt me in the end and that it just seemed bad because it was the end of the semester.
I guess what was making my stress-driven anger worse was the fact that I was on the opposite side of the country from where I grew up. From where my parents lived. From where Mikey, who acted like a second father to me, lived. I was stuck in this new place in a city I still didn’t know well and I just wasn’t adapting properly.
Rubbing my eyes and sniffling slightly, I started to think that maybe I hadn’t given myself a chance to grow accustomed to my new home. I mean, I really only left the apartment to see Katie or Kyle, or to go to college, or when Tyler wanted to go out somewhere with me. Maybe, just maybe I needed to get out on my own and explore a little bit, and maybe make some new friends. It was getting pretty lonely only having three friends when I thought about it. Yeah, they were incredible friends, but I needed more and different personalities in my life.
Happy that I had come to realize what was making these finals seem so much worse, I stood up, brushed myself off, and wiped at my eyes again, not caring if my eyeliner smudged or not. Then I ran a hand through my hair, which had grown considerably since I had cut it last, and decided I needed a change.
An hour or so later I walked back into the apartment in a much better mood than I was in when I left, and bit my lip, wondering how Tyler would like the change I made to my appearance.
He looked up from the TV while starting to say, “Hey, you’re back,” but strayed off while saying “back” when he saw that I had cut my hair so it just barley came to my chin, and that it was also layered and the ends were razored.
“Do you like it?” I asked meekly, putting my purse on the small table by the door.
“Yeah! It’s…wow…short,” he said, walking over and running a hand through my hair. “I love it.”
Smiling slightly, I leaned into Tyler, sighing softly when he wrapped his arms around me. “I’m sorry I yelled; I’m just really stressed and I’m still getting used to living out here in L.A.
“Hey, it’s alright,” he replied, putting a finger under my chin and tilting my head up so he could look into my eyes. “I understand; you have a lot of finals compared to my few, and I’m still adjusting too.”
I smiled more and hugged him closer to me before he suggested sitting down and watching a movie, which I agreed to. After he popped The Notebook into the DVD player – it was one of my favorite movies – and sat down, I laid down so that my head was resting on his thigh, and his fingers started to comb through my hair absent-mindedly.
“I have something to admit,” I said almost randomly, just as Noah and Allie broke into the Windsor plantation. Rolling over onto my back and looking up at Tyler, I bit on my lower lip slightly. “I’ve kind of been…uhm…hiding my real grades in math and Chemistry from you.” Tyler just furrowed his eyebrows at me in a quizzical manner, and I sighed slightly. “I’m not getting a B in the classes; I’m getting a 73% in Chemistry, and a 70.4% in math.”
“Oh, well that’s not…bad. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because everyone is so used to me getting A’s all the time. Back in school, people would gasp over-dramatically if I got a B on a quiz…and I didn’t want you to worry.”
“No one’s perfect Steph,” he said slowly. “I don’t expect you to get A’s all the time, but I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me anything, okay?”
I nodded and smiled, and then turned back on my side and fell asleep with my head on Tyler’s thigh and Allie and Noah’s love story being played out on the TV in front of us.
The next day was Saturday, and even though Tyler and I went looking for a puppy, which was unsuccessful for that day, I felt stress and tension reclaim their grab on my sanity when I would think about finals. My grade in the college level Chemistry class was lower than I wanted it to be, and my grade in math wasn’t that great either, and it didn’t help that I was trying to hide my grades from Tyler so he wouldn’t worry about me. I mean, they weren’t horrible, but I wasn’t used to getting low C’s. I didn’t even understand why I had to take math and science in my first year of college when I wanted to be an English teacher, and especially since I had taken Chemistry in high school.
After Tyler and I got back from looking at a pet store down the street and then going out for lunch, we returned to the apartment. It seemed like the second we stepped through the door, Tyler had the TV on and was asking me to sit with him, but I insisted that I had to go studystudystudy some more, so I went into our room and threw myself amongst my books scattering the bed, grabbing the remote to the stereo and turning on Panic! at the Disco on. However, instead of just existing, the noise from the stereo started distracting me, which it hardly ever did, so I turned it down. Unfortunately, that didn’t help, so I ended up turning the stereo off as stress crept through my blood stream, infecting every cell in my body.
“Steph, are you alright?” Tyler asked about two hours later as he stood in the doorway and looked at me concerned. I guess you would be concerned too if you saw your girlfriend with tears streaming down her face and her hair messed up from pulling on it.
“I can’t remember the quadratic formula! I mean…I’ve known it since 8th grade; how can I forget it now?” I stared at my review pages more intently, as if it would jump out of the page at me. “I know it’s x equals the opposite of b plus or minus the square root of something over two-a, but I can’t remember that something!”
Coming over to rub my shoulders, Tyler started with, “Maybe you should take a brea-“
“I am not taking a break!” I snapped, brushing his hands off of me. “I need to study this…I need to get this down.”
“But if you over work yourse-“
He stopped when I turned to glare at him. “Look, just back off, alright?!”
“But Ste-“
“TYLER!” I threw my pen down and it bounced against my book. “What don’t you understand!? I have to memorize half of this freaking book, and I just can’t do it with you constantly trying to get me away from my studying! I. Need. To. Get. This. Down.” I knew my face was turning slightly red and that I was still slightly crying, and I knew it was freaking Tyler out a bit, but I couldn’t contain myself.
“Maybe just a sma-“
I jumped off the bed, pushing him slightly away from me. “Fine! I’ll take a break!” I slipped into my shoes and grabbed my purse and my jacket, heading for the door.
“Where are you going?” he called, following me.
Before slamming the door behind me, I answered curtly with, “out.” After slamming the door I quickly made my way outside and sat down on the cold sidewalk, crying softly into my hands. I couldn’t take the pressure of school anymore. I had been considering dropping out for a few weeks at that point, but I knew it would ultimately hurt me in the end and that it just seemed bad because it was the end of the semester.
I guess what was making my stress-driven anger worse was the fact that I was on the opposite side of the country from where I grew up. From where my parents lived. From where Mikey, who acted like a second father to me, lived. I was stuck in this new place in a city I still didn’t know well and I just wasn’t adapting properly.
Rubbing my eyes and sniffling slightly, I started to think that maybe I hadn’t given myself a chance to grow accustomed to my new home. I mean, I really only left the apartment to see Katie or Kyle, or to go to college, or when Tyler wanted to go out somewhere with me. Maybe, just maybe I needed to get out on my own and explore a little bit, and maybe make some new friends. It was getting pretty lonely only having three friends when I thought about it. Yeah, they were incredible friends, but I needed more and different personalities in my life.
Happy that I had come to realize what was making these finals seem so much worse, I stood up, brushed myself off, and wiped at my eyes again, not caring if my eyeliner smudged or not. Then I ran a hand through my hair, which had grown considerably since I had cut it last, and decided I needed a change.
An hour or so later I walked back into the apartment in a much better mood than I was in when I left, and bit my lip, wondering how Tyler would like the change I made to my appearance.
He looked up from the TV while starting to say, “Hey, you’re back,” but strayed off while saying “back” when he saw that I had cut my hair so it just barley came to my chin, and that it was also layered and the ends were razored.
“Do you like it?” I asked meekly, putting my purse on the small table by the door.
“Yeah! It’s…wow…short,” he said, walking over and running a hand through my hair. “I love it.”
Smiling slightly, I leaned into Tyler, sighing softly when he wrapped his arms around me. “I’m sorry I yelled; I’m just really stressed and I’m still getting used to living out here in L.A.
“Hey, it’s alright,” he replied, putting a finger under my chin and tilting my head up so he could look into my eyes. “I understand; you have a lot of finals compared to my few, and I’m still adjusting too.”
I smiled more and hugged him closer to me before he suggested sitting down and watching a movie, which I agreed to. After he popped The Notebook into the DVD player – it was one of my favorite movies – and sat down, I laid down so that my head was resting on his thigh, and his fingers started to comb through my hair absent-mindedly.
“I have something to admit,” I said almost randomly, just as Noah and Allie broke into the Windsor plantation. Rolling over onto my back and looking up at Tyler, I bit on my lower lip slightly. “I’ve kind of been…uhm…hiding my real grades in math and Chemistry from you.” Tyler just furrowed his eyebrows at me in a quizzical manner, and I sighed slightly. “I’m not getting a B in the classes; I’m getting a 73% in Chemistry, and a 70.4% in math.”
“Oh, well that’s not…bad. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because everyone is so used to me getting A’s all the time. Back in school, people would gasp over-dramatically if I got a B on a quiz…and I didn’t want you to worry.”
“No one’s perfect Steph,” he said slowly. “I don’t expect you to get A’s all the time, but I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me anything, okay?”
I nodded and smiled, and then turned back on my side and fell asleep with my head on Tyler’s thigh and Allie and Noah’s love story being played out on the TV in front of us.