Found a Place for Me to Rest My Head

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Johnny pouts.

"Yes." I sigh and nod.

I'm leaving the guys until their tour ends. The Berry's have my spot covered by an intern they hired. I'm going to relax at home for a while and gather my thoughts. I'm too stressed on this tour. All because of one man.

Johnny pulls me into a hug. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, shorty." I laugh and ruffle his hair.

He grimaces and then get pushed out of the way by Jimmy. "DON'T LEAVE!" He shouts and lifts me up into his arms in a bone crushing hug.

"It's only a few weeks!" I laugh and try to gasp for air. He sets me back down on my feet after a while and frowns. "I'll call to check in." I laugh.

"Good." He smiles.

I wave by to Matt and Brian after saying good bye then walk off the bus. By the taxi I have waiting for me I see a familiar face walking over smoking a cigarette. None other than Zachary fucking Baker. Awesome... Just the person I want to see.

Instead of say bye like a good person would have, I just get in the taxi and tell the driver to take off immediately. I wasn't going to give Zacky a chance. He has had plenty of time to talk to me. Fuck, I wouldn't even care if he told me he doesn't love me. At least he would talk to me!

I really am going to miss the guys though... They are my fucking world. I just need this break. I'm way too stressed out on the road. I need solidarity... for once.

"You should move to California," I tell my old best friend Sara. "I need someone here with me." I sigh. "I have a big old house to myself."

"I wish I could, girl! Maybe you shouldn't have left the guys. Speaking of guys... is Matt seriously engaged?"

I stifle a laugh. Sara is in love with Matt and always has been. She doesn't want to admit it to anyone but it's so obvious.

"Yes, Sara." I laugh. "He has been for about three months now."

I can hear her pout. "There are just no guys out there for me," she jokes.

"I know just how you feel." I sigh and fall back on my bed, trying not to think about Zacky. However, that's impossible because that's all Sara wants to talk about.

"Well you have-"

"No, I don't," I correct her. "He hasn't spoken to me in weeks. I lost the guy I used to hate."

She sighs. "Should I follow them on tour and kick his ass? After I marry Matt, of course."

I laugh and shake my head. "Leave the abuse to me. I'm good at it," I joke.

As we talk about what's going on in our lives I realize how empty it is without the guys. Without Matt I would still be in some shit hole town with no place to live, working five million jobs to pay for food. Without him I wouldn't have been able to travel the world and be with my best friends.

I owe everything I have to them.

As I lay in the bed Zacky and I used to share every night for a week I can't help but check my cell phone every minute incase he decides to text me. Hell, everyone knows he won't. He is probably talking to some bimbo or having sex right now! UGH.

I hate rockstars.

"Fuck it," I say aloud and grab my cell phone from the nightstand. I go through my contacts until I reach the last entry and press the send button. I put the phone to my ear and feel my heart race even more with every ring.

"Hey, it's Zacky. Can't get to my phone. Leave a message," he says followed by a loud beep.

I want to hang up but I don't. Instead I say what I need to.

"You're a fucking jerk, you know that? A mother fucking heartless dick who doesn't care about anyone but himself! I cannot believe I told you I loved you! Seeing who you really are by not talking to me for weeks shows you aren't the person I thought you were! I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to think about you, I don't-" The phone goes off the hook.

My message was too long and I got cut off. Well that isn't all I have to say.

Three messages and a few tissues later, I find myself crying miserably in my bed. I'm not able to pull myself together this time. I just left Zacky three messages spilling my heart out to him knowing he won't have the guts to call me back. Why am I wasting my time?

We're only immortal for a limited time.

I hop out of bed, change into some sexy clothes, grab my coat and keys, then head out of the door to a bar. I might as well have fun while I can. It's not like I'm with Zacky so I am a free woman.

That idea lasts all of ten minutes. I end up sitting at the bar drinking way too many drinks, downing too many shots, all on an empty stomach. This is never good.

I groan and put my hand to my head. I drank way too much last night. More than usual. More than I probably ever have with the guys... Fuck.

I roll over in bed curling up in the blanket and squint to look at my phone.

Missed Calls.

My heart races as I check who called me. It was Jimmy. I quickly call him back hoping it wasn't anything urgent that I missed.

"Hello?" He asks.

"Jimmy, hey. You called?"

"Yeah, you're never gonna believe what happened last night." He laughs. "I walked back onto the bus after we stayed at a hotel and heard Zacky moaning someones name in his sleep. Three guesses who."

My eyes widen and I bite my lip. "You're lying..."

"Dead serious, Audrey. I think you leaving messed him up. He hasn't really talked to us lately, either. You should come back."

"How do I know you're not just saying this to get me back?" I laugh a little.

"I would never do something like that!"

"Right." I laugh and roll my eyes. "I do miss you all though... Minus him. But I just need to relax. I drank way too much last night..."

Jimmy laughs. "You drank without me? I'm sad now."

I laugh. "I've got to go. I'll talk to you later, okay? Tell everyone I say hi."

"Will do."

"Love ya, fucker."

"Right back atcha sexy."

When we hang up I feel like a little piece of me is missing. I really miss the guys but I can't go back... Not now.

My phone goes off again and I laugh thinking it was Jimmy trying to convince me to come back again. "Jimmy, I'm not coming back!" I laugh.

There's a small silence.

"It's not Jimmy... It's me," a voice says that pierces my heart.

"Zacky?" My voice trembles.