Smile Like You Don't Give A Damn About the Consequence

After hanging out with Pete for a bit, I learned more about him, and even met my Godfather! Apparently, it was Patrick Stump. Which was pretty funny when I met him and the rest of Fall Out Boy.

When the show rolled around, I found myself hanging out with Kara. Kara and I had grown pretty close since we met, I felt like she was more of a sister and best friend. It reminded me of my friendship with Keana. We chilled on the bus, talked, did our nails, and watched chick flicks while Kara french braided my hair, always commenting on how she loved my (what I thought was boring) blond/reddish that had now grown a little bit past my shoulders, being on tour not being able to get it cut because of the constant moving. Hayley and Sam ended up joining us. We stayed there for the rest of the show.

Two hours later, the boys came back and we were now our our way to the show in North Carolina. Kara and I were in the back of the bus when a red eyed Alex slowly walked in. He looked like he didn't sleep at all last night. Just looking at the sight of him nearly broke my heart.

"Lyrc, can I talk to you?" He asked quietly, barely above a whisper.

"I don't think that's a good idea Alex." Kara replied for me, trying her best not to snap at him.

"Please Lyr." Alex said choking up. He looked like he was bout to break down.

I was so conflicted. I was still upset at him, he broke my heart in the matter of seconds. I honestly don't know how much more my heart can take. I've been too strong for too long. But, I love him.

"Kara, it's alright.." I whispered. Alex and Kara both looked shocked.

She sent me one last look, but agreed anyways and walked to the front to meet Rian.

We sat in silence for what seemed like ages. Sitting there in silence with him, just made me relieve the other nights events in my head and it was tearing me apart.

"Alex, please just say something and get it over with. I can't stand this much longer."

I turned my body, sitting criss crossed apple sauce, to face him. My voice breaking up and sounding higher than usual. tears were filling my eyes, threatening to spill out and I could literally hear my heart breaking.

He looked at me with wide eyes.

"Lyric, no that's not. Please don't- don't cry. This is all my fault. I'm such an idiot. But, you have to understand what was running through my mind."

"That's the thing Alex, cause I've tried so hard to figure out what the hell was going on in your mind that night, and it has me so baffled I can't even think straight."

I looked deep into his chocolate, puppy dog brown eyes and saw tears filling in.

"Baby, I didn't mean it. Everything that happened that night. I regret it and I will for the rest of my life. Please, I know I don't deserve it, but please hear me out."

When I didn't say anything, he took a deep breath, and continued.

"From stage, I saw you talking to Vinny. You guys look deep in conversation and jealousy surged through me like gasoline to a fire. By then, I had already had two or three drinks. I really can't remember. And that's no excuse. I was so jealous. I, I know you guys are just friends but I couldn't help myself. By the end of the show, I felt defeated. Like I had lost you already. I'm not good enough for you, I've always thought this and seeing you and Vinny just made me believe it even more. By then, I stupidly came up with the idea that I wanted to get back at you. I-I honestly don't know what I was thinking. But I called Lisa, and well I guess you know what happens after that. But Baby please, I can't live without you. Were young, and I love you. We've only been going out for a short while,but still every time I see you, I get these like butterflies and it feels like the first time I ever saw you. It really was love at first sight. I need you in my life. You're what keeps me grounded . I know it will take a long time for you to trust me again but, do you I mean will you still be my girlfriend?"

I sat there taking everything in. I looked at him. Hair a mess. Tears running down his face. Beautiful puppy eyes,red and puffy. Clothes wrinkled. once again, his eyes, sad, desperate, hope, and Love...

"I-i, Alex I..."