Symphony of Sound.

Everything goes kind of wrong for Zack a few days later. He’s told (in great detail, actually) about Rian and Cassadee’s date to the movies twice –once from both sides of the party. He ignores the clawing feeling in his chest (he’s gotten worryingly good at that lately) and nods where he’s supposed to, throwing in a spectacularly fake smile where he thinks appropriate.

But, behind closed doors, this is a completely different story, as Zack finds himself lying on his stomach, face first in a pillow, sobbing and screaming. It wouldn’t surprise him in the slightest if Jack or Alex or even William (who is five rooms down) can hear him through the school’s pathetic excuse for walls.

It doesn’t surprise him that no one (if they hear him, that is) comes to check on him, comes to see if he’s okay, if he’s alright, if he needs any help, or just someone to hold him and tell him it’ll all be okay no matter what it looks like right now.

But no, Rian is out somewhere with Cassadee (Zack is pretty sure by this point that she should be in the running for the ‘bitch of the year award’) and God only knows (and God only wants to know) where Alex and Jack have gone.

It’s not like Evan or Kara are anywhere near, either –they’re both across the campus in their own grade’s block, a good ten minute walk away.

Rian reappears in the common room around an hour later, and Paul and David immediately corner him and start talking too loudly in his face.

“Zack has been crying for the last two hours in his room, on his own.” Paul says with a glare directed right at the brown haired boy.

“You can hear him from down the corridor, in my room.” David adds, brushing his dark red, almost chocolate coloured bangs from his eyes.

Rian’s eyes widen, slowly registering that David’s room is about eight rooms away and across the hall, it hits with him that something is massively wrong.

He pushes them out of the way, taking the few stairs two at a time, barely stopping to breathe before he’s hammering on Zack’s door.

“Zee!” Rian yells, bashing his fist on the door. “Zee, open up! We need to talk!”

Rian hears a strangled noise echo out from the room and he swallows, nervously, as he knocks again, hoping that if he perseveres long enough then Zack will have to answer the door.

“Zack!” He shouts again, leaning up against the door and hitting at it harder. Zack makes another noise, except this time it sounds much more like a sob than anything else.

“Zachary!” Rian shouts, louder than before this time, probably loud enough that those in the common room can hear him from wherever they’re situated. He knows that using the younger boy’s full name will not, under any circumstance, put him in his good books, but at this point he is honestly past caring.

The door flies open and Rian almost falls through it and on top of the younger boy, who pushes at him a little too violently until he’s a good distance away.

“What do you want?” Zack asks, voice breaking somewhere between a sob and a scream.

The first thing Rian notices is his tears –oh, God, the tears. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone crying that much, not in a long time, and it hurts more than he’d care to say.

“We have to talk.” Rian says firmly. Zack stares at him, bites at his lip and blinks, causing more tears to begin their journey down his cheeks.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Zack hisses, moving quickly to slam the door in Rian’s face, harder than he means to.

Rian steps back quickly enough to avoid concussion from the blow of a door against his face.

“Zack,” Rian says with a heavy sigh, leaning back against the door.

“Go away!”

“Zee...”

“No! Leave me alone!”

That’s kind of how Rian ends up sitting a vigil outside of Zack’s dorm room, back against the wall with his head slumped backwards as he stares up at the ceiling, fingers twisting aimlessly in his sweater because he has nothing better to do.

The door eventually creaks back open, and a flash of skinny jeans and powder blue San Diego Chargers jersey goes flying past him in the direction of the corridor’s only bathroom.

Rian sighs, bites at his soft lower lip and blinks, running his fingers through his mousy brown curls.

When he looks up, Zack is looking down on him curiously, fingers twisting and playing with the hem of his jersey. Rian can tell he’s nervous, just from that gesture.

“How... How long have you been there?” He asks tentatively, pushing his unruly bangs away from his eyes as he blinks back what appear to be more tears.

“Since you very nearly slammed the door in my face.” He replies, looking up at the younger boy through his lashes, almost shyly.

“Oh. I’m... I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

“It’s okay.” Rian says, dragging himself to his feet and embracing the younger boy awkwardly. Zack freezes in his hug, body stiffening as he stops himself from hugging back.

“Please tell me what’s wrong.” Rian whispers, pulling Zack backwards into his room. The younger boy stares at him, long and hard for a second before biting at his lip and burying his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“It’s, uh, not something you can really fix, Rian.”

“But, still,” Rian presses, perching on the edge of Zack’s bed, “you should tell me. I want to know, Zack, because then I can at least try and help you out. And even if I can’t, I can give you hugs on demand.”

“It’s not that simple, Rian.” Zack sighs sadly, playing with his belt loops on his jeans as he sits down a good distance away from the older boy.

“Then what is it?” Rian says, turning around to properly look at the blonde boy. “You don’t even have to tell me, just tell me whether you want me to stay or not.”

Zack swallows a sob, his throat tight as he tries to breathe.

“Stay,” He chokes out, “please, just stay.”

That’s about when Zack’s mind starts working against him, as he starts to cry again, face buried in Rian’s sweater.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Rian says, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy’s waist and tugging him closer, hugging him tighter.

Zack is, at this point, trying to shut down his stupid, treacherous brain, which is just going ‘Tell him you like him. Tell him, or forever hold your peace and suffer watching him with girls for the rest of your life. Kiss him.’

Zack shakes his head, more at himself than Rian and the darker haired boy pushes his bangs away from his eyes. Zack stares up at him, green eyes teary and desperate, and Rian sighs gently, hugging him even tighter still.

“You’re not going to tell me what’s wrong, are you?”

I love you.

Rian sighs again when he gets no response, nuzzling his nose against the younger boy’s blonde waves.

“Alright, okay. You don’t have to. But... But when you want to, I’ll be here, alright?”

No, you won’t be. You’ll be with Cassadee. She’s the ‘love of your life’, remember? Or at least that’s what you told me after your stupid date.

“Zack? Please say something?” Rian almost pleads after a few moments of silence between them.

“There’s nothing to say, Rian.” Zack says, biting back more tears.

“Zee, you and I both know that you don’t let yourself get upset about little things, so this, this must be big. Please talk to me about it.”

“I don’t want to.” Zack replies quickly, blinking as more tears start to fall down his cheeks.

“And why is that?”

Because I love you!

Zack curses his mind internally as it screams the words over and over and over again, assuming that if it says it enough, it will spill from his mouth and be out in the open.

“Zee?” Rian says after a long pause, voice still hesitant and almost shaking with reluctance. “Please, tell me what’s wrong. I know that you don’t want to, but I honestly think you need to. It can’t be good to keep it all bottled up inside.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, alright?” Zack snaps. Rian recoils, because it’s so out of character for the blonde boy to turn on him in such a way.

“Zack, just listen to me. I’m here for you, and you should really talk this out with someone.”

“No!” Zack yells, green eyes narrowing at the older boy as the tears start up yet again, having only just stopped.

“Zee, dude-” Rian starts, but the younger cuts him off before he even has the time to take a breath.

“No, Rian! I will not and do not want to talk about it, not now and not any time soon!”

“Zack, I really think-”

“Just go!” Zack yells, the tears running thick and fast down his cheeks as he pushes his bangs roughly away from his face and twists his fingers within the blonde waves.

“I thought you wanted me to stay.”

“Just go, okay?” Zack says, his voice watery, desperate and shaking. Rian stares at him sadly for a moment, before burying his hands in his pockets and giving the younger boy a sad smile, shuffling out of the door and leaving the younger boy alone with his thoughts.

The blonde boy sniffles, sits gingerly on the edge of his bed and wraps his arms around himself, as if trying to shelter himself from everything that just happened.

It all just hurts too much to bear.