Symphony of Sound.

Zack returns to the junior block around an hour later, moving as quietly as he can to avoid waking anyone who might be sleeping along the corridor.

He barely has time to close his door before Rian’s knocking softly, which confuses the younger boy. He moves back towards the door and opens it to see the older boy’s sheepish expression.

He’s in his pajamas –a fetching combination of oversized gray Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tee and dark blue boxers- and he gives Zack a small smile in greeting.

“So… Do I have to stand outside here like an idiot or are you going to let me in?”

Zack opens the door wide, eyes trained on the on the older boy as he moves.

“Something’s getting to you. I can tell. And don’t say it isn’t, because I can tell it is. Kara made it more than obvious.”

Yeah, it was obvious before she said anything to you. Or at least, it should’ve been.

“So are you going to tell me or do I have to get it out of you myself? Because I’m not about to go anywhere until you tell me.”

“But you will, Rian. And you know it.” Zack retorts, sitting down on his bed with a soft thud.

“Zack, you can think what you want about the fact that I’ve acted like nothing is wrong, but I’ve known.”

“Have you really? Really? Because I honestly don’t believe you.”

“Zack…” Rian sighs, pushing his fingers through his loose brown curls.

“No, Rian, listen to me. You really have no idea what’s been going on in my life lately, because you haven’t been in my life to notice.”

“And for that, I can’t even begin to explain how sorry I am for that, but…”

“No, you’re not sorry, because if you were, you would have realized long ago.”

“Realized what, exactly?”

Zack sighs, looking up through his lashes at the older boy who stands above him.

“I can’t… I can’t say that.”

“And why is that?”

“Because it’ll make things weird, and I don’t really want to sacrifice whatever it is we’re supposed to have over something like this.”

Rian sighs, pushes at Zack’s waist until he shuffles up and makes room for Rian next to him on the bed.

“Zack, I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“No, I can’t. You haven’t been around when I really needed you. Over Christmas, especially. Why should I trust you with anything any more?”

Rian bites at his lip softly, knowing that everything the younger boy just said is completely true.

“Now, I… I know that I haven’t been the best friend to you lately-”

“You’re telling me.” Zack snaps, interrupting the older boy sharply and jerking away from him.

“Let me finish, Zack.”

“Fine.” Zack retorts curtly.

“I know that I’ve not been the best friend to you lately, but I’m still here for you no matter what you think of me.”

“That I highly doubt.”

“And why is that?”

“Because of Cassadee.”

And just the tone of Zack’s voice tells Rian almost everything about how the younger boy feels about his girlfriend, and that thought worries him.

“What do you have against her, anyway? It’s not like she’s done anything bad to you.”

Yes she has! Just because you’re so damn clueless that you had no idea doesn’t mean that it wasn’t happening! She’s everything that I should be!

“You don’t know the half of it, Rian.”

“Has she been saying stupid stuff to you, Zack? Because if she has, I can get her to stop.”

“No, it’s nothing like that, so don’t even bother. You wouldn’t get it even if I explained it.”

“I think I would, Zack. I’m not as stupid as you like to make out.”

“Really? You do surprise me.”

Rian wants to laugh at this, but at the same time, he really doesn’t dare.

“No, Zack, I really aren’t. You can think what you like, but you’ll have to tell me what’s wrong eventually.”

“Oh, I will, will I? I doubt that.”

“Zack.” Rian says sternly, almost glaring at the younger boy. “I am not prepared to leave here until I know who or what it is that’s been upsetting you lately.”

“Well, prepare to be waiting a long time, Rian, because I’m not prepared to talk to you about that yet.”

“That’s what I don’t understand!” Rian replies, raising his voice slightly, exasperated. “You’ll talk to Jack, and Alex, and Evan, and even Hayley about it, but you won’t talk to me? I’m supposed to be your best friend!”

No, Rian, I won’t talk to you because you are the cause of this entire problem.

“Yes, you’re supposed to be my best friend, but face it, you’ve hardly been a real friend to me lately, have you?”

Rian bites at his lip again, fumbles with his fingers as he plays with the hem of his tee absently.

“I… I know, and I can get why you’re mad at me, but I really think-”

“Does it even matter what you ‘really think’ any more?” Zack interjects, air quoting around his friend’s speech. “Because, honestly, I don’t think it does.”

“So, what, I’m not allowed to worry about you now? I’m not allowed to be concerned when I hear that you’ve been crying yourself to sleep?”

“Rian, you and I both know that if you were ‘concerned’ or ‘worried’, it wouldn’t have taken you this long to notice that something was wrong.” Zack retorts, and his voice is watery, like he’s about to cry.

Rian pauses for a moment, takes a second to really look at Zack and he finds himself almost transfixed, his heart pounding in his chest as he watches his best friend crying, and it’s the most pitiful sight Rian’s ever seen, and all he wants to do is help but Zack’s made it more than obvious that he’s not going to let him.

“I know… I know that it was stupid, and asshole-ish of me to pretend like nothing was wrong, pretend like nothing was upsetting you when it obviously was, like you were okay when you obviously weren’t, and I know now that this is probably all my fault…”

“Probably?” Zack asks incredulously. “It’s probably your fault? Of course it’s your stupid fault!”

Rian winces, leans back a little from the younger boy, because seriously? That hurt. A lot. Probably more than his facial expression is saying.

“It’s your fault that I’ve been ripping myself apart from the inside out since Christmas! It’s your fault that I’ve been crying myself to sleep! It’s all your fault!” Zack retorts harshly, practically screaming through his tears.

“And why is that?” Rian replies, his voice almost heavy with nerves as he tries to remain calm.

“Because I love you!”

As soon as the ‘U’ sound passes through his lips, he immediately slaps his hands over his treacherous mouth and starts cursing every religious figurehead under the sun, because seriously? He did not mean to say that out loud.

“You what?” Rian says slowly, trying to compute Zack’s words in his head.

“I… Nothing.” Zack replies quickly, taking an easy exit, mainly to avoid the mess he knows is bound to come later.

“No, I… I know what you said, Zack, I just… Is that what’s been upsetting you?”

Zack nods, moves his hands away from his mouth and exhales nervously, pushing his fingers up into the front of his bangs anxiously.

Rian stands then, moves quickly and clumsily over to the younger boy and embraces him in a tight hug.

Zack winces into his shoulder, because this really, really isn’t helping.

“I love you too, Zee.”

“No, not like that!” Zack replies, exasperated, as he pushes himself from Rian’s grasp and paces somewhat overdramatically across the room.

“Then how?” Rian asks, throwing his hands up in the air out of sheer desperation. “What other way is there?”

Zack stares at him in disbelief, hardly understanding how Rian can be so colossally stupid.

“Are you… Are you being serious right now?” Zack asks, letting his bangs drop into his face, but holding his gaze on the older boy through the thick blonde locks.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Rian, seriously…” Zack says with a frown, a forced smile stretching his lips. “It’s not that hard to work out… Surely even you should be able to manage it…”

“Should I be insulted by that statement?”

“Probably.” Zack replies, hesitating and choosing his words carefully.

“Zack, would you… Would you just explain to me what’s going on, because I honestly can’t understand why something as trivial as this is getting you this upset.”

Zack gapes across the room at him in complete and utter shock.

“This isn’t… This isn’t some little trivial thing, alright? This is… This is huge.” He says in a tiny voice, tucking as much of his bangs as possible behind his ear.

“Then why won’t you talk to me about it?”

Zack closes his eyes in an attempt to clear his mind, even for a few seconds, because this is going even worse than he expected it to.

Rian knows about his alarmingly huge crush, but for some odd reason, can’t seem to register it as such, and so still remains frustratingly clueless about the whole situation. How he manages this is beyond Zack, it really is.

“If… If I tell you, you’ve got to promise you won’t freak out, and you won’t interrupt, you’ll let me talk and make sure that you understand everything. Alright?”

Rian nods, and Zack walks back over and sits on the edge of his bed, motioning for the brown haired boy to sit beside him.

“Okay, I promise.”

“Good.” Zack says with a small, anxious smile. “I guess I’ve got some explaining to do, then?”