Symphony of Sound.

Orchestra is the next day, and Zack finds himself sitting almost completely on his own, save for a couple of far too eager freshman from the percussion section who seem to be taking far too much of a liking to the gong and the triangle. He winces as there’s another loud crash from the gong, and he turns, unaware that two tiny kids were able to make such noise.

It’s not long before Andrew and Victoria from senior year show up, and the two freshmen silence almost immediately as soon as they see them.

They look at each other and laugh a little, apparently pleased with the fact that they strike fear into people only a few years younger than them.

“Hey, Zack.” Andrew says with a smile as the younger boy ambles his way over. “Are you good with that violin solo yet?”

“I think so,” Zack replies with a shrug, “it’s more difficult than I figured it would be.”

“But, you’re like some kind of boy genius, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“I wish people would stop saying that. I’m not that good.”

“Yes you are, dude. I’ve only just reached Grade Seven piano, and I’m in the grade above you. You’re really talented, Zack. Seriously.”

He blushes, looks down at the floor shyly and laughs as he hears Jack and Alex arrive, bickering about something pathetic already.

“How do you stand those two?” Andrew asks with a small smile, glancing over Zack shoulder at the two boys who are now unpacking their instruments, still snapping at one and another.

“I honestly have no idea.”

“I admire you for that, dude.” Andrew says through a laugh. “I’m not sure I could stand even ten minutes in their company.”

“They’re not as bad as they look, I swear.” Zack says, smirking as he hears Jack yell ‘It’s like, you can’t go around saying, ‘I love tests.’ People will punch you in the face.’

By the time everyone finally shows up, Jack and Alex have resolved whatever difference they were snapping at each other over and are sitting one in front of the other with their instruments, having a hushed conversation between themselves.

Zack is internally going insane as Mr. Johnson raises his baton and they start playing, but he relaxes a little and tries to remember to breathe right as some of the intricate, delicate parts appear. He and Mike sound almost perfect together, despite never having a full practice together.

The full orchestra rejoins not long after, and Zack relaxes even further as he plays a part accompanied by everyone else, so no one can hear him or criticize him.

This quickly vanishes however, as his far too fast solo descends upon him and he struggles his way through, making one or two mistakes that only he really picks up on –mainly because he’s too critical of himself.

He plays his next, far slower and far more comforting solo with Mike as an echo, which helps him to be more confident in himself, because Mike’s kind of covering for his mistakes.

“Very nice, guys.” Mr. Johnson says, clapping and smiling. Zack’s eyes meet Mike’s and they give the other an appreciatory, ‘nice playing, dude’ nod and smile.

“I think we should start on a different song now, one that really includes the whole orchestra.” He says, more exuberantly than anyone else in the room at the thought of this prospect.

He hands out more sheet music, this time met with a collective groan as everyone reads Pomp And Circumstance – Elgar.

“Why?” Jack asks loudly, tugging at his bangs and frowning at the notes.

“Because, Jack, we need to experiment.”

“I hate experimenting.” Jack grumbles under his breath, and Jersey snickers at him, causing the younger to elbow him until he shuts up.

“Everyone, we will be playing this today, so I suggest you look a little more enthusiastic about it and arrange your sheet music now.”

Zack frowns, shifting his music around and silently thanking God that there are no solos in this piece. It shouldn’t be too hard, he decides, having scanned over it quickly. Nothing too difficult.

Surprisingly, it doesn’t sound too atrocious for a first attempt, which Zack is almost shocked at, because the triangle happy freshman is involved.

“Nice, but it needs work!” Mr. Johnson says over excitedly, and everyone gives him a sullen look, as if to say ‘do we really have to?’

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s not like I’m asking you to learn a full Beethoven symphony, worse things have happened.”

Almost everyone rolls their eyes or shakes their heads, and starts to clear away all their sheet music and instruments.

Zack hangs back, waiting for Rian, who is standing across the room apparently having a thrilling conversation with Cassadee about something Zack doesn’t understand –probably about woodwind band, or something.

Then, then he picks up on something Rian says that makes sense to him.

“So, I was thinking we could go out on Saturday? There’s this really neat cafe just outside of Augusta we could check out.”

He feels a lump in his throat rise up, and he swallows to try and rid himself of the discomfort. It doesn’t work.

He silently begs, pleads with Cassadee to say no, to turn him down and have him run back to him, but of course, the world is forever against him, and he makes out a ‘Sure, that sounds fun’ right before he closes his eyes and the tears start.

He runs. Runs as fast as he can towards his dorm, towards anywhere, anywhere where Rian and Cassadee aren’t.

He finally collapses onto his bed, the tears flowing faster than ever now, curls himself up into a ball and cries.

Now, ordinarily, Zack is the type to bottle it up and ignore his feelings right up until he bends and finally snaps, and then everything comes streaming out like some horrible celebration.

But for some reason, when Rian is concerned, it is impossible for him to do so.

He opens his eyes, still blinking far too often to keep the tears from collecting, heavy on his eyelashes.

He looks to the photograph of his mother on his nightstand, giving her a weak smile before frowning, knowing if she was still here then she wouldn’t want to see him upset.

But then, he remembers that she’s not still here and that kind of makes him cry harder than before.

“Mom, it hurts.” He says in a tiny voice, fingers curling around the photo frame as he pulls it closer to him.

“It feels like someone, like someone pulled something out of my chest and left the wound open. I... I don’t know. I can’t, I can’t do this. I know I waited too long for him to do something, hoped that he’d notice when it should’ve been obvious that he wouldn’t, but I held out, because that’s what you do for those you love, isn’t it? That’s why Carolyn looks after me, because she’s holding out for you, even though you’re gone.”

“I wish I’d thought and asked him first. I know... I know that he probably would’ve laughed it off or just told me straight down no, but now I guess I’ll never know. I didn’t even know he liked her; he’s supposed to trust me with everything. He was the first person I talked to about being gay –well, after you, of course.”

“I guess, more than anything, I’m scared of losing him. I’m scared of losing him to her. She hasn’t been around as long as I have –she doesn’t know all of his weird little quirks like I do. Like how he has to make his bed every day as soon as he gets up, or how he’s afraid of hair straighteners, or anything. She doesn’t fit with him. I do.”

He sighs, realizing he just spilled his heart out to a photograph. A photograph, for Christ’s sakes. He wipes at his eyes, rubs at his nose with the back of his wrist and stands, locks his dorm door and goes back to his bed, setting his mother’s photograph down on his nightstand again, forcing a weak smile for her sake before whispering ‘I love you, Mom. You always listen to me.’

Jack and Alex, who are in the room directly opposite Zack’s, are both blissfully unaware of the situation which has just unfolded between the other two boys.

“So I’m basically a music stand now?” Alex says with a frown, holding the book open to a page that Jack is reading.

“Yes, you are. And you’re doing a terrible job, by the way.”

“Do you want me to hold this damn sheet music or not?”

“Alright, fine.”

Jack rolls his eyes at the older boy, looking up at the book and then back at the cello between his legs, trying out the first few bars of music.

“It sounds terrible.” He says with a wince.

“It does not.” Alex replies, frowning at him. “You just need more practice. You have a month or so yet.”

“Don’t remind me,” Jack says, squeezing his eyes shut and gesturing wildly, nearly hitting Alex around the head with his bow.

“It’s not even that difficult,” Alex says, rolling his honey brown eyes at the younger, “I bet even I could play it, and I play double bass.”

“Yeah, terribly.” Jack says with a cheeky smile.

“I take great offence to that.” Alex retorts, folding his arms in mock hurt. “If you’re going to be horrible to me, then I won’t hold your damn music.”

“You know I don’t mean it, loser.” Jack says with a shy smile. Alex fixes him with a stern look and Jack laughs awkwardly.

“I don’t, you moron.” Jack says, pulling Alex in for a hug. “If you were terrible do you really think they’d have let you into this school? No, they wouldn’t have. So shut up with the self pity party and hold my music for me.”