Oh Golly, I Love You.

After more crying, more puking and more hyperventilating, I was finally left alone by my wild and scary thoughts. It was six o’clock and dinner time had rolled around. I didn’t know if I could hold down food or not, so I ate light. Eating ‘light’ for me was two pieces of bread, four containers of yogurt and two bananas. I figured if I was going to be eating for two for the next nine months; why not start doubling up on everything now?

I grabbed hold of my cell phone and dialed Jay’s phone number, curling into a tight ball. I was atop of my bed when I heard his voice. Smiling, I waited.

“Hey baby,” Jay cooed, a smile present in his voice.

“Hey JayJay, what’s up?” I asked, pulling the blankets over my head. I wasn’t sure why my fingers robotically dialed his number; I didn’t even intend on calling him.

“Nothing really, just.. Laying in bed and watching the television. How about your pretty little self?” He replied, the sound of people talking and an audience laughing. He was probably watching some comedy with a cheesy fake audience.

“Same thing, minus the TV part,” I stated, rubbing my stomach. I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell him, but I knew for sure I wouldn’t tell him on the phone. “Can you come over? I need you here, I’m lonely,” I added after he didn’t reply to my last statement.

“Yeah sure, that’s fine. I’ll be over soon. Your parents cool with it?” Of course my parents were cool with it, they loved him.

“You know they love you, Jay,” I assured, smiling wide. He always made me feel better, no matter what the circumstances.

“I love you and I’ll see you when I get there. I’ll come in through your window,” he explained.

“I love you, too,” I replied. Once the line went dead, I pressed the red phone-shaped button on the right side of my phone and set it down near me. Patiently, I waited.

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After only ten minutes, Jay climbed through my window and slid out of his coat, crawling into my bed as he gave me a kiss on my forehead. I couldn’t help but smile. As I slipped out of the blankets I wrapped my arm around his neck and buried my face into his chest, inhaling his scent. Even though Jay didn’t wear cologne, he always smelt good. It was a mixture of summer, cherries and sawdust-- he helped his father with his landscaping business in the summer.

“You’re awfully cuddly today,” he noted, rubbing my back. I just simply nodded, keeping my face where it was. “And you’re quiet, is something wrong?” I wish he wouldn’t have asked that question. He always knows when something is wrong, and I always caved in telling him what was wrong. That was one of my weaknesses around him.

“I’m just.. Thinking. And, I don’t feel all that hot,” I finally replied, pulling away to watch him as he laid down, his arms still around me.

“Aw. What’re you thinkin’ about?” He asked, tucking my head underneath of his chin. So what, we couldn’t be a cheesy couple?

“Just.. Stuff. I need to tell you something, and it’s serious, too,” I said, pulling away so I could get off of my bed. As Jay scooted closer, I began to pace back and forth.

“What?” He inquired, watching me.

“Well… This is big. So big, it’ll make your fucking heart explode if you let it,” I began, not bothering to make eye contact with him, my arms crossing in front of my chest. “You know how we, ya’know, on our anniversary?” I asked, stopping in front of him to look at him.

“Yeah… Go on,” he pressed.

“Well.. I don’t know how to put this so I might as well say it. I know we both trust each other, and I know you didn’t use a condom because it was so perfect.. I, ah fuck. Jay, I’m pregnant,” I stated, watching his expression. He wasn’t running, but I could tell he was stricken with surprise.

“You’re what?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. “Did I hear you right?”

“Yes, Jay. I’m pregnant.” I confirmed.