One Life To Live

"What the hell just happened, Lance?" Melanie demanded, bewildered.

I sat back against the leather seat in my Cadillac, raking my fingers through my hair at a stoplight. How can I even begin to explain any of this to Melanie? "Mel, you picked the worst possible guy to dance with."

"You knew him," a statment - not a question.

"Yes," I responded bitterly - I still had the image of him grabbing Mel's hips and trying to take advantage of her tattooed in my mind.

She looked over at me, and frowned. "Look, Lance - it was nothing; that dance. Bethany Lynn set me up and I just couldn't say no."

I shook my head. "I should go back and fuckin' destroy that guy for putting his goddamn hands on you, Melanie. Did you even think about what he could've done? He could've taken advantage of you, and-" I stopped not even able to finish the horrid sentence. If I hadn't been there tonight, he could've hurt her because of me. Because I was involved with her. Maybe Dad was right. That I should've left her alone.

But looking back at her....all I wanted to do was protect her. I don't know how I could even think of Melanie spending time with someone else. It enraged me to even see her dancing with someone other than me tonight.

"I'm not totally defenseless, Lance." She replied a moment later.

I let out a deep breath. I chose my words carefully when I spoke this time. "I know you aren't," I said softer, "It just makes me sick to think about some fuck up trying to manhandle you like he did."

She glanced over at me, and when my eyes connected with hers I felt a twinge of emotion in the pit of my stomach. "Mel...do you trust me?"

She sighed, "Would I be in this car with you if I didn't, Lance?"

I leaned back, and consumed my mind with the ecstasy of her words. Though, I know that I didn't have any right to feel that way when I was hiding a huge amount of my life from her. A life that she shouldn't really belong in.

Not someone as kind-hearted and pure as her. Not someone who has a perfectly planned future. Not someone who would have to be in a limbo between having a happy, normal life and then be in hell when I didn't come home one night because of The Business.

"You probably shouldn't trust me, Mel." I warned, trying to get her to look beyond not only what I did tonight and understand what I was constantly doing every day of my life.

She hesitated a moment before she spoke. "You're the only one I trust."

My eyes flicked over to hers. That wasn't anywhere near what I wanted to hear. "After I knocked that guy out, you say I'm the only one you can trust?"

She turned her head to gaze out the window, "I just feel...safe with you." Her voice grew quiet.

I stared out of the front of the windshield trying to make sense of the emotions that overwhelmed me at that moment. We pulled up to my apartment, and I shut off my car. I popped my door open, and rounded the corner and as she got out, I stood a few inches away from her. I was planning on talking some sense into her. God knows I haven't done that so far. "Mel."

"Why didn't you call me?" She asked abruptly. Her eyes flickered up to mine, and she gazed at me through her long lashes.

My heart sank - that was this past week when I ignored her for the better. That obviously didn't work. "I- had a lot of shit going on. I'm sorry, Mel."

She bit her lip, and stared into my eyes. They held a lot of depth and her mouth was quivering slightly as she tried to put her emotions into words.

Before she could, however, I announced, "Let's go."

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I opened my apartment door, and threw my keys onto the granite countertops. I shut the door behind Melanie and tried to decipher what she was thinking. Trying to hold onto the thought that I wanted to do what was best for her, even though all I wanted to do was be with her.

And just like I thought, we had more in common than I had originally thought we did.

She closed the short spance between us, and situated herself in my arms - her hands resting on my shoulders. Her lips were merely centimeters away from mine as I bent down to rest my forehead against hers, and the taunting distance had to end. I pressed my lips against hers, and placed my hands on her hips. After a few moments of kissing, she slid her arms onto my shoulders, and I boosted her up so that her legs were straddling my waist. I wanted to squelch any indecision she had about me - I needed to. I wanted to make it all go away; all the shit and horrific events I've went through in my life - I needed to wash it all away with Melanie's kisses and her sweet breath in my mouth. I drowned myself in her, letting her chase my demons away.

My tongue entered her mouth as she parted her lips against mine. From there on, the heat between us became erotic. My muscle became restrictingly tight as I fought to control the pressure mounting and my urge to rip her clothes off was daring to take over. It became faster, hotter, harder - our kisses only lasting a few seconds before I'd pull back and kiss her again and again and again.....

Her fingers ran through my hair, and I pinned her against the wall, my breathing turned into panting. I had little to no control left in my system at this point, and I think she was beginning to recognize that. From then on, she tried not to egg me on because I had a feeling she wasn’t ready to take that next step. I respected that – I respected hєr.

That was a statement I’ve never said about one of my girlfriend’s before.

They were easy to discard – the girls that had no pride for themselves; that didn’t give a shit about who they were. They just wanted mє, and would do whatever it took to get it done. Throw themselves at me; look like an idiot just to get my attention.

Melanie? No. None of that. Of course I knew how she felt about me at times like these, but she had an air about her that exuded confidence about who she was, and frankly…it was intoxicatingly sexy.

I had a feeling that when she was ready; it would be very clear.