Lima Loser - Part Two.

I automatically began to shake my head. “I can’t do that.”

“Alright, then!” Azimio clapped once. “Come on, Puck. Let’s leave the coward behind.”

“Coward?” I spat. “Did you just go there?”

He just laughed. “Well, you won’t egg Rachel’s house with us. It’s not like she’s gonna do anything about it, besides cry.”

“Exactly,” I told him. “I dislike Rachel as much as the next one, but I’d hate to see her upset. Can’t we egg someone’s house we don’t know?”

“What’s the fun in that?” Karofsky butt in. “Ooh! How about that faggot, Kurt’s house?”

“Nuh uh,” I snapped. “You will not be eggin’ on mah boy, Kurt.”

“Fine,” Karofsky shrugged. “Here’s your options. You can be a chicken and walk away right now…we can head on over to Rachel’s house right now, have a few laughs, throw a few eggs…or we can torture your friend Kurt.”

I sighed. Kurt was automatically out of the question. I respected him and his father too much to put them through something like that. That left being called a coward and egging Rachel’s house. Hmm…

I knew I should’ve just walked away. I mean, who cared what a couple of ugly jocks thought of me anyway? They were just as bad. But I also felt the need to prove them wrong. And anyway, it was only…eight cartons. I was sure Rachel would be delighted to sit out on her roof and sing show tunes while scrubbing the egg off of the roof.

“I’m in,” I said quickly. “Rachel’s house it is.”

“Yeah!” Puck grinned, high-fiving me. He then turned to Natalie. “Go home.”

“No! I wanna be a part of this, too!” She stomped.

“Sorry, kid,” Azimio shrugged. “Maybe next year.”

“We can’t just let her walk home alone,” I told them. “How about we take her home and then go to Rachel’s?”

But at that moment, Natalie’s eyes shifted to something behind us. “Katie!” she called out, and as I turned around, I saw a few little girls running towards Natalie dressed as princesses and sluts.

They stopped to talk for a few moments, and then Natalie decided that she was going to finish trick-or-treating with her friends, which had worked out better than I thought it would. I figured we’d have to walk all the way back to Puck’s house or make her tag along with us. And I wasn’t up for letting her watch us egg Rachel’s house. Nat looked up to me, so I didn’t want to encourage her to be like her brother.

Once Natalie and her future hooker friends were out of sight, three of the guys and I began to walk towards Rachel’s house with the wagon full of crap trailing behind us.

After about ten minutes of walking, we reached our destination. All four of us stood in front of Rachel’s house, looking at each other as if to say “You go first”. Eventually, after some eye-rolling, Puck picked an egg up out of the carton and walked a little closer to get a good aim. The rest of us hid in some bushes next to her house. Y’know, just in case.

Splat! I watched as the liquid from the egg trickled down the top of the roof, right next to Rachel’s bedroom window. Puck ran over and leaped into the bushes with us. I saw a light flicker on, and then a silhouette in the curtain. The window opened, and Rachel yelled out “GET OUT OF HERE, NOAH PUCKERMAN! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!”

I began to laugh hysterically, especially at the fact that she hadn’t even seen him. She just knew it was him because of all of the torture he usually put her through. The window slammed shut, and I could almost hear her stomp across her bedroom floor.

We all giggled like we were in elementary school, letting out little “hee-hee”’s, and when we contained ourselves, Azimio grabbed an egg and headed out of the bushes. “Watch this.”

As much as I disliked the guy, he had good aim. He lifted up an arm, and with the flick of his wrist, the egg hit Rachel’s bedroom window. I laughed and felt a little bad as I witnessed the egg slowly making its way down her window, and then falling onto the roof. But that wasn’t as funny as watching Azimio’s fat jiggle as he booted it back to where we were.

I heard Rachel’s window open again, and this time she sounded furious. “I’M GOING TO CALL THE COPS, NOAH, SO YOU’D BETTER HURRY UP AND GET OUT OF HERE. AND TAKE YOUR SKANKY GIRLFRIEND WITH YOU.”

My face dropped. Did I just hear that right? I asked myself. I mean, I knew Rachel and I didn’t really get along anymore, but she knew damn well that I wasn’t a skank, and she had no right to call me one.

Puck also looked pretty surprised that she’d actually said that, and the two idiots with us were laughing with their mouths hanging open as well.

I don’t know what had happened to me being somewhat responsible, but anger had taken over at that point. I grabbed a full carton of eggs and stepped out of the bushes. I heard Puck calling out my name for me to come back, but I simply ignored him. I stomped to the middle of her front yard, and began throwing eggs like no tomorrow. Of course, I had terrible aim, so most of them had landed on the grass in front of me, but I finally hit her window once again.

But I didn’t run back to the bushes. I wanted her to see me. So, I stood there with my arms folded. The window opened a few moments later, and her eyes widened as she noticed me standing there.

“Skank, huh?” I yelled up to her. “As if you’d know what a skank is, you prude.”

“You know,” she smiled down at me, holding the cordless phone up for me to see. “Verbal harassment isn’t going to be a nice addition to egging someone’s house.”

“Verbal harassment my ass,” I snorted. “I really don’t care. You don’t even know me enough to label me.”

“Alright,” she said. “Your choice.” She began to dial numbers on the phone, but I think that she was just fucking around.

“Call them,” I laughed, knowing she wouldn’t actually do it.

“Look,” Rachel began. “I suggest you and your boyfriend get out of here before things get messy.”

“Messy?” I asked, mockingly. I picked up another egg, and stared at it for a moment before making a decision on what I wanted to do with it. I tried to copy what Azimio had done just a few minutes ago. I held my hand back, and then threw the egg with as much force as possible. I closed my eyes, hoping it had hit Rachel square in the face, and when I opened them, I was pleased to see her up in the window with her mouth hanging wide open, egg splattered all over her face.

I heard a small amount of applause coming from the bushes, but it quickly stopped. There was silence in the air for a few moments as Rachel and I glared at each other, but she eventually broke it.

“UUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” She screamed so loud, it could’ve been heard a mile away. And it wasn’t a normal Rachel Berry scream, either. She sounded like some kind of demon, and it scared me just a little, although I didn’t show it.

“Oh, calm down,” I rolled my eyes. “It’s just an egg.”

Instead of answering, she made another animal-like noise, before slamming the window. I heard her stomping again, this time all throughout the house, and decided that she was going to come outside. I wasn’t scared of her, but I knew that it would be funnier if we ran away, so that’s what we did. I called out to the boys behind the bushes, and we all made a run for it before she could come outside.

Once we were off of her street, we sat down on a sidewalk curb and just…laughed. For over ten minutes.

“Man, that was nuts,” Karofsky said, excitedly. He then looked at me. “I always thought you were kind of a loser, so thanks for proving me wrong.”

“You still have yet to prove me,” I winked, and his face dropped.

“That was seriously sick, though,” Puck grinned. “Did you hear that scream?”

“Yep. That’s gonna damage her vocal chords,” I nodded. “Oh well.”

“You think she’ll call the cops?” Azimio looked worried.

“No,” I replied. “But let’s get outta here just in case.”