Love 'n' Stuff

Freddie

As if I wasn’t horny enough already, we were sitting in the living room pre-gaming before going out and Benny whips some spliffs out of thin air. As in, where did Benny get weed? Who would sell it to him? I know drug dealers aren’t typically of the highest moral standard but surely they draw a line at dealing to pre-pubescent pre-teen girls.

As soon as Benny walked into the living room and slapped the drugs on the table – a little unceremoniously – I saw Jack raise an eyebrow at him sceptically.

‘Dude I think it’s safe to say that we all already have a serious case of the cosmic horn. You really want us to get high as well?’

‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,’ Benny snapped, rolling his eyes and grabbing a glass from the kitchen. Jack made an “I surrender” face and lit up anyway, taking a drag and passing it to me.

‘Try not to rape me tonight, won’t you,’ I said offhandedly, taking it from him.

‘I’d sooner rape Iggy Pop.’

‘He wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole and a bottle of bleach.’

‘Can we put the claws away please, ladies?’ Matt interrupted, looking a little pissed off, from beside me on our couch. Despite the fact that I was annoyed with him, and that the sight of his ass lately makes me need to take a cold shower, he still has a calming effect on me and I shut my mouth, leaning back against the couch cushions comfortably. Benny came back over and sat beside Jack as I passed the spliff to Matt.

Maybe he would get really horny and finally get laid tonight as well.

Matt’s one of those ambiguous gay kids. Like, you could never tell whether he would top or bottom; he could easily fall into either category. Not like the rest of us; Jack and I are clearly both tops, and Benny is the most obvious bottom I’ve ever seen.

God I bet Matt would be really tight...

Gah. No. Bad Freddie. No sexual fantasies about your best friend who is listed as your brother on Facebook. Bad.

Matt

I stood up to walk around the coffee table and hand the spliff to Benny, but instead of just giving it to him I grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him upright, then dragged him into the kitchen.

‘Jack will kick your ass if you rape me,’ he said mildly, taking the spliff from me anyway.

I rolled my eyes. ‘You’re not my type honey,’ I said sarcastically. ‘I just figured I’d wait til you were a little drunk and more talkative to ask you what’s been up with you lately. Are you sure you’re not being bullied again?’

Benny made a sceptical face. ‘I didn’t realise that was the sort of thing one could be unsure of.’

‘Benny,’ I said in a strangled voice. ‘Just tell me what’s up.’

‘Your penis,’ he snapped, before walking back out of the kitchen swiftly as I glanced down at my crotch on reflex, even though I knew I wasn’t hard. Not yet, anyway.

Five minutes of silently fuming later, I stomped back into the living room, chugged what was left of my drink, and grabbed my phone and wallet. ‘Let’s just fucking go already.’

Benny

You’re not my type honey.

You’re not my type.

You’re not my type.

You’re not my type.

I mean, I already knew that. But it still hurt to hear out loud. I mean, I know he wouldn’t have said it if he knew how I felt, or at least he would have said it more sensitively, and I guess I did goad him into it a little... No. Stop it Benny. You’re over-analysing again.

When we walked into the club I tried not to feel the usual discomfort I experience when half the eyes in the room look me up and down and up again. I mean I know a lot of people would enjoy that, but it’s not like they’re appreciating my hotness or whatever – I know I’m not hot. They’re thinking about how small, and therefore tight, I am, and I think that would make anybody awkward. But this time I tried to look back at them defiantly, daring one of them to come over. And, as I walked to the bar with the other three, someone did.

‘Hi,’ he said awkwardly, as I leaned against the bar beside Matt. I’m somebody’s type. ‘I’m Paul.’

‘Hi,’ I said, shooting him my cutest smile. He was taller than me but not as tall as Freddie, Jack, or Matt. Blonde hair that fell over his – from what I could tell in the darkness of the club – green eyes. ‘I’m Benny.’

Paul bit his lip a little nervously, and fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt. I waited patiently even though I could tell the other three were watching with curiosity and amusement, sure that Paul was about to crash and burn. I haven’t even kissed another guy since Jack; I’m pretty certain they think I have really high standards. In reality, I was just crushing a little too hard on Matt to pay attention to any other guy.

‘Could I, um, get you a drink?’

‘Sure. I’ll have whatever you’re having.’

As a smile of relief broke across Paul’s face, I glanced back at the others; Freddie was grinning at me, Jack had raised an eyebrow, and Matt looked confused. Ignoring them, I turned around and faced the bar, letting my arm brush against Paul’s lightly as he got the barman’s attention and ordered two rum and Cokes. Who knew it would be this easy?

Jack

‘You guys want a drink?’ I asked as I waved at the barman to get his attention.

‘Anything without a Rohypnol in it,’ Freddie answered casually, eyes on the dance floor. He was on the pull tonight as well then.

‘Matt?’ I asked.

‘Vodka’s good,’ he said distractedly, and when I glanced at him he was also eyeing the floor. Getting eight in a taxi on the way home was gonna be difficult.

We were all already pretty wasted with the combination or drugs and alcohol, so a couple vodkas later we were all in the centre of the club, grinding like porn stars. I could see Benny and Paul dancing as well from where we were, and it was pretty obvious Paul hadn’t done this before; he was probably a Spirit Day Gay like half the other people in here. Even Benny, who is usually patient and understanding, was starting to look a little bored and annoyed... Was it possible that he was only looking for one thing tonight as well?

The club was packed and there was barely room to move; Matt, Freddie and I were crushed pretty close together. The proximity of Freddie’s body to mine was having unfortunate effects in my crotch-region – where were the multitudes of lookalikes Matt had been bringing home recently? So far I hadn’t seen anyone that made me as hard as Freddie did.

Matt suddenly leaned to the side, bumping off Freddie, which caused him to stumble into me. Ass first. And before I knew what I was doing, I had grabbed his hips and started grinding on him and, perversely, he was pushing harder against me, his hands resting over mine as his hips swayed tantalizingly.

Matt

Okay.

So “falling over” sideways onto Freddie had backfired astronomically. Averting my eyes, I resigned myself to the inevitable and wandered further into the crowd, looking for a substitute.

Freddie

I don’t know who had pushed Matt, or how I had ended up grinding against Jack as a result, but Christ it felt amazing. It was like all the aggression and irritation was suddenly manifesting itself as pure lust.

Okay, maybe not “suddenly”. There’d been that temptation to slam him against a wall and stick my tongue down his throat for a while now. Speaking of which...

Pulling Jack’s hands away from my hips, I turned around and crashed my lips to his; his hands went back to my waist and pulled me closer as he kissed me back. Standing there on the dance floor, with the loud music thumping in our ears, bodies writhing around us in time to the beat, it felt insanely good to have his hands on me, his lips on mine.

Jack’s fingers inched under my t-shirt and I didn’t stop him; rather, I flicked my tongue against his bottom lip and licked it seductively. I couldn’t hear his moan but I felt it vibrate against my mouth as I slipped my tongue into his and massaged his tongue slowly and tantalizingly.

He pulled back, said, ‘I hate you,’ and put his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me in again. I rolled my eyes even though they were closed – like I didn’t already know that. I pushed harder against him and he stumbled backwards, causing several people to push and shove us until we were eventually at the edge of the dance floor, still attached at the mouth. I pushed him until he was leaning against the wall, and the pressed myself hard against him, grinding, our lips moving in sync as our hands explored each other’s bodies.

Benny

Typical.

I should have known. Of course this would happen. Of course I’d get a drunk straight guy who just wanted to try on being gay for funsies. I mean, I look like a girl, right? So whether it was a dare or a genuine curiosity I was the natural choice for his first gay experience.

To be fair to Paul, he wasn’t arrogant or selfish or even annoyingly jittery. It was just obvious that it wasn’t exactly me he was into. Weirdly, it wasn’t my body either. It was just the idea of being with a guy. And normally I’d try to be understanding and supportive, but this just wasn’t what I was after tonight.

I saw Matt pushing through the crowd near where Paul and I were sitting in a booth to the side of the dance floor, and debated whether to send him a plea for help with my eyes. Before I could make up my mind though, he looked over and saw me, raised an eyebrow, and made his way towards us anyway. I guess it was pretty clear I wasn’t enjoying myself whether I appealed for help visually or not.

‘Benny,’ he hissed angrily when he reached us, giving Paul a once-over as he glared at him. ‘Who the fuck is this?’

‘Um. I’m Paul,’ Paul said weakly.

‘And what the fuck do you think you’re doing buying my boyfriend drinks, Paul?’ Matt demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Paul’s eyes widened and he looked at me, confused, before glancing back up at Matt. ‘Benny didn’t say he had a boyfriend. And weren’t you standing right there when I bought him a drink? Why didn’t you-?’

Paul cut off as Matt’s eyes flashed, and he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. My heart started thundering in my chest as my brain went haywire; Matt pushed forward and crawled onto the seat next to me, kissing me insistently until I kissed back. Our lips moved against each other as my breath caught in my throat.

Matt pulled back, totally cool and collected, while I was left panting and totally flustered. He looked across the table and I followed his gaze; Paul had disappeared.

‘That was mean,’ I admonished him, trying to regain my composure.

‘That was necessary,’ he replied offhandedly, grabbing Paul’s abandoned drink and downing it. ‘You weren’t spiking him, were you?’ he asked once he’d finished.

‘There were other ways you could have gotten rid of him,’ I argued, ignoring his last comment.

‘They wouldn’t have worked nearly so quickly though,’ Matt grinned. Then he frowned. ‘I’m sorry I kissed you, if that’s what you’re upset about. I mean, I didn’t think it was out of line but if-’

‘I’m just not used to getting orally assaulted by guys who shove it in my face that I’m not their type,’ I spat, climbing over him and as I said it and storming towards the exit. As I made my way forcefully through the crowd I saw two familiar figures pressed up against the wall by the door; Jack had his hands all over Freddie’s ass, who in turn was feeling up Jack’s (really impressive) abs inside his t-shirt. And while there was a small spark of happiness that they’d finally gotten over themselves, a bigger part of me just felt more desolate that Matt had lost out on Freddie and decided to settle for me instead. And even worse? A bigger part again felt really sorry for my crush that he couldn’t have who he wanted.

Leaving them to it, I pushed past the last few people blocking my way and made it out into the cold night, shivering slightly in my t-shirt – I hadn’t bothered to bring a jacket. I debated for a minute whether to go to get some greasy fast food or just head straight home, then headed for the taxi rank across the road.

‘Benny!’ I turned around instinctually even as I registered that I recognised the voice and was currently storming off on the owner. ‘What the hell was that about?’

I tilted my head, and smiled at him. ‘What? You wanna share a taxi or are you staying here for a while?’

Matt made a face. ‘Don’t do that,’ he admonished me, grabbing my wrist and dragging me across the road to the taxi rank, opening the door of one and pushing me in before climbing in after me and giving the driver our address.

Matt

‘Well?’ I asked, turning away from the taxi driver and looking instead at Benny. ‘What’s your damage?’

‘Like I’m really going to tell you when you’re obviously this pissed off.’ Fair point.

‘I’m not pissed off. I’m sorry, okay?’ I went to put my arm around him, like I always did when we were talking just the two of us, but he ducked out of the way and I sighed.

Benny shook his head and closed his eyes before talking. ‘Look, I’m sorry you have a crush on Freddie. And I’m sorry he ended up with Jack tonight. But I’m not gonna be your second best, even if I do-’ he cut himself off abruptly and clamped his mouth shut, clenching his jaw.

‘Even if you do what?’

‘Nothing.’

I made a face but decided to drop it. ‘I wasn’t “settling” for you to be second best. I was trying to help you get rid of that guy, and I guess I’m pretty drunk, kissing you seemed like a good idea at the time... But I mean, I wasn’t gonna name you my score of the night or whatever.’

‘Right. Because I’m not your type.’

And suddenly it clicked. ‘Oh my god, Benny!’ I exclaimed, leaning across and hugging him. ‘You didn’t take that personally did you?’ Obviously he thought I’d meant to insult him or something. ‘Just because you’re not my type doesn’t mean you have to settle for the first loser who offers to buy you a drink. Half the guys in that club wanted your ass tonight,’ I joked. ‘They were probably all jealous of me when I...’ I trailed off, catching the driver trying to make eye contact with me in the rear view. He shook his head in disbelief at me, then returned his gaze to the road.

I made a face, and looked back down at Benny, who was staring resolutely out the window. He wasn’t pouting as such, he looked a little too sad for that, but he still looked totally adorable. Ignoring the obviously dodgy taxi driver, I ploughed ahead, catching Benny’s face between my hands and forcing him to look at me. ‘Don’t even act like you don’t know how cute you are,’ I said softly. ‘You’re adorable, funny, the kindest, most intuitive person I know. Don’t settle for sadsacks like Paul again, okay?’

As the taxi pulled up outside the apartment building, Benny slid wordlessly out of the car, leaving me to pay. I sighed but let it slide; he was obviously still in a bad mood, and handed the driver a tenner.

‘I know you’re drunk,’ he said, instead of thanking me, ‘but that’s no excuse for being an idiot.’

Except, of course, that it is the only excuse for being an idiot. On top of which, I wasn’t being an idiot, I was trying to be nice!

Refraining from answering, I followed Benny into the building and went to bed, alone, for the first night in two weeks.

Freddie

I slid my hands down Jack’s body and rested them on his ass, pulling his waist towards mine so our crotches rubbed together in a half-painful, half-erotic way.

‘Come on,’ he growled at me in a really seductive way, and grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards the exit. It was probably just after midnight, two hours before we would usually go home, but there was no point in staying any longer. We weren’t doing any more drinking or dancing and anyway, I’d come here with the sole intention of getting laid tonight and it looked like that was gonna be happening pretty soon. And, okay, the reason I’d wanted to score so badly tonight had been in order to forget about Jack and Matt, and here I was going home with one of them attached to my lips, but fuck it, Jack was hot and his kisses made me hot, and I could think about regretting things in the morning.

We crashed into the apartment, the main door swinging back and hitting loudly off the wall, and I hissed, ‘Shh!’ at Jack as he kicked it closed, his hands on my hips as he kissed me and manoeuvered me down the hall towards his room. I didn’t even fight him to go to mine instead; I guess it would be easier for him to lose his ass virginity in familiar surroundings.

‘You are so sexy,’ he murmured, pushing me back against the door after he closed it behind us. He’d been telling me this all night, it was a total ego-stroke.

And then I gasped as my ego wasn’t the only thing he was stroking.

I leaned my head forward and bit his shoulder as I moaned quietly – there was no denying it, the boy was skilled. I was on the verge, but I pushed him back into the room and down onto the bed in a sitting position; the climbed onto his lap, straddling his waist, and kissed him hard as I grinded my hips against his.

Jack’s hands slid around my waist and onto my ass; then inside my pants and one of his fingers started to tease my cleft. That made me pull back sharpish.

‘Whoa,’ I said. ‘Whoa. No. I am not being bottom.’

Jack frowned. ‘What, you thought I was gonna be?’

‘Well, uh, yeah,’ I said in a “duh” voice. ‘Since it’s not gonna be me.’

‘I’m older.’

‘I’m taller.’

‘I’m stronger. And you’re only taller than me by half an inch, it doesn’t count.’

‘I’m hotter.’

Suddenly I found myself on my back, pinned to the bed with him leaning over me. ‘Wanna say that again?’ he asked, his voice low and deep. It shot a shiver of anticipation along my spine.

‘I’m hotter,’ I whispered defiantly.

Jack bit down on my neck, just enough to hurt, as he massaged my crotch again, and I yelped even as I bent my knees to give him better access. He started sucking and nibbling on my neck, and I knew what I was gonna have to say if I wanted to survive the night without a hickey.

‘You’re hotter,’ I blurted desperately.

Jack paused, then kissed the spot he’d been nibbling on lightly. ‘Too late, but thanks anyway,’ he said arrogantly, smirking at me. I brought one hand up to my neck worriedly; it was tender and I knew he was right; it was too late.

‘Well you’re definitely not getting my ass now,’ I hissed, rolling onto my side and facing the wall. Jack laid down beside me and grabbed my hip, pulling me back into him, didn’t push it. He merely draped an arm around my waist and buried his face in the back of my neck, seeming to turn off his lust like it had a switch or something. Whereas my hard-on was still pressing painfully against my jeans.

‘You’re seriously done?’ I asked after a minute.

‘I’m not in the business of raping people,’ he murmured into my neck, and I shivered at the feel of his lips on my skin.

I stayed silent for a few more seconds, then rolled over so our faces were close together. He opened his eyes and looked down at me.

‘Hey Jack?’ I started.

‘Yeah?’

‘Do you really hate me?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh. I really hate you too.’

Pause.

‘Hey Jack?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Will you tell me what happened with Aaron?’

I saw his jaw clench, but then it relaxed, and he shrugged. ‘He wasn’t a very good boyfriend. Cheated on me a lot. Broke up with me in the middle of the summer because he wanted to see other people during college. Got his friends to put me in hospital shortly afterwards. Then got on X factor.’

I blinked. ‘Wait, what? They beat you up?’

Jack took my left hand and started guiding it around his body. ‘Concussion. Broken nose. Three cracked ribs. Fractured knee. Broken ankle.’

‘But why? I thought he broke up with you?’

‘He did. But I... Moved on first.’

‘He cheated on you, broke up with you, and then beat you up for having a one night stand?’

‘It was with his brother.’ I bit my lip trying not to grin, but Jack rolled his eyes. ‘Go on,’ he said, and I let the smile spread across my face.

‘You still didn’t deserve that though,’ I added.

Jack faked a shocked look. ‘And you’re supposed to hate me,’ he teased, and I averted my gaze. Jack tugged on the covers and pulled them up around us, then pulled me over so my head was resting on his chest. ‘Night,’ he murmured, and I felt his kiss the top of me head before settling back on his pillow. My eyes drifted closed shortly afterwards.