Finding Gerard

Ray's point of view

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDYYYY!"

"Coming!" I yelled back, trying to stir the pasta sauce cooking on the stove.

"DADDY! DADDY!"

"I'M COMING!" I yelled back again.

"FRANK! STIR THIS PASTA!" I called to Frank who was lounging on the living room couch.

"I'll burn it!"

"You just have to stir it, nothing else, I need to go let Angel out," I told him, dragging him off the couch as I walked out of the room and up the stairs to Angels room.

"Hello baby," I said as I entered the room, crossing it and standing at the side of her crib-bed.

"Daddy!" she cried happily, sitting up, her brown eyes glistening with joy, her curly brown hair tussled from sleep.

My heart just melted every time I looked at her, she was so beautiful.

Although she wasn't exactly conceived an ideal way, but having Angel as my biological daughter and having Bob as her adoptive second father was just perfect.

"Lets get you out and down to your play room," I said, lifting her out gently and balancing her on my hip. Angel would be two years old in a few short months, and time has really flown by, it feels like a few days ago she was first brought home in her car seat, and Bob and I were terrified by the thought of caring for her alone.

We never would have survived without one thing, Frank.

Since Gerard disappeared Frank has been living with Bob and I, and is fantastic with babies. Somehow he knew everything to do when she first came home, and now at 20 months old, she's thriving.

Her face nuzzled into my shoulder and one hand grabbed hold of my hair, the other holding onto me firmly.

"Now, we talked about this, it hurts when you pull my hair," I explained gently. The last time I had tried to explain, she had ended up in tears, she just loves the 'fro.

"Otay," she said in her sweet little voice.

"Shall we go downstairs and get some din-din?" I asked her.

She nodded, burying her face into my shoulder again and wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Okay," I said, heading downstairs with Angel securely held in my arms.

"Thanks Frank," I sighed, as I reached the kitchen to find my pasta boiling over and sauce bubbling frantically.

"Go and find uncle Frank," I said to Angel, setting her down on the ground. She quickly toddled in the direction of the living room and out of sight.

Once the pasta was back under control I followed her, to find Frank on the couch completely hidden under a blanket, with Angel looking for him everywhere.

"Untle Fwank," she said, looking under the couches and behind the TV and curtains.

I smiled to myself, watching her play.

The lump under the blanket started laughing, and Angel let out a squeal.

"There you are!" she cried, clambering onto the couch to sit on Frank.

"You found me!" he exclaimed, springing out from under the blanket and grabbing her into a hug.

The door-bell rang, and I hurried to answer it.

"Hey Mikes," I said, opening the door to Mikey.

"Hey man, hows it going?" he asked, stepping into the house and hugging me briefly.

"Its going good, how are you doing? You on your own?" I asked, looking for Mikey's wife Alicia and young son Daniel.

"Yeah on my own tonight, I'm doing OK," he said.

I closed the door behind him and he followed me through to the kitchen.

"Beer?" I offered.

"Yeah, that'd be great," he said, sitting down at the table and resting his head in his hands.

I looked at him as I handed his beer over, he looked completely exhausted.

"Tired?"

"Yeah. 'Licia is pregnant, and very moody, we've been arguing," he said with a sigh.

"That's great!" I said, clapping him on the back.

"But not about the arguments..." I added hastily.

"Hopefully she'll be OK in a few weeks," he said, nodding.

"How far along is she?" I asked, tending to my pasta and looking at the clock.

"Four and a half months," said Mikey, taking a long swig from his beer.

"Do you know what you're having?" I asked, feeling slightly guilty that last time I had seen Mikey and Alicia just a few weeks ago I hadn't noticed she was pregnant.

"Yeah, we're having a little girl, Maisy," he said, tired eyes already full of love.

"Aww that's so sweet," I said, trying to hide the fact that I was unbelievably jealous.

"Yeah, once she stops biting my head off for breathing loudly and stepping heavily while I'm upstairs, it'll be great," he said.

"Honey, I'm home!" came a familiar voice from the hallway.

I dropped my wooden spoon and rushed from the steamy kitchen to greet my husband.

I rushed into the hallway, grabbing him into a hug and kissing any part of his face and neck I could reach.

"Did you miss me?" he asked, leaning back a little so we could see each other's faces. His blue eyes shone with radiance and health, a far cry from two years ago when he was nearing death. His blond hair was growing long again, and I loved how soft and smooth it was, so different from my curly mane.

"I sure did," I said, pecking his lips.

"Missed you more," he said. After Gerard's disappearance the band broke down, and Bob now worked as a producer for a record label to keep the money coming in steadily. It meant I could basically be a housewife and take care of Angel. He had been away on business for a few days, and whenever he went away it made me appreciate just how lucky I am to have him in my life.

"Mmmm is that your mom's special pasta sauce I smell cooking?" he asked, sniffing the air.

"Yep, it'll be about five minutes if you want to change first, and Mikey's here too," I said.

"OK," he said, pecking my cheek and heading to go up the stairs. As he walked behind me he slapped my butt playfully. I turned and smirked at him, causing him to stick out his tongue and then head up the stairs.

I headed back to the kitchen to find Frank fastening Angel into her high chair and Mikey gone.

"Where's Mikey?" I asked as I looked for the strainer.

"Bathroom," said Frank shortly.

Frank and Mikey had argued shortly after Gerard vanished and things between them had never quite been the same since. They were quiet with each other, and often made sniping comments when the other was not around.

I dished up our food, Mikey returned, and Bob bounded down the stairs, changed out of his suit and into jeans and a tee.

"Daddy Boo!" cried Angel, reaching her arms up and rocking her chair towards him excitedly.

"Hello munchkin," he said fondly, kissing her on the head and ruffling her curls. Bob was absolutely smitten with Angel, he doted on her and missed her greatly when he was away.

"Mikey, hows it going?" he asked, sitting down next to him at the table.

I quickly sat opposite Bob so that Frank had to sit opposite Mikey. He shot me a sideways glance then sat down.

Bob and Mikey caught up quickly, and we then fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence as we shovelled down our food.

"Great pasta honey," said Bob, smiling at me and running his foot up my leg under the table.

"Thanks," I smiled.

Mikey and Frank looked anywhere but at each other.

"Ca! Ca!" shrieked Angel.

Our cat, Skittle, had just entered the room. He paused and looked at her, then realizing she was restrained to her chair, continued to his food bowl. Angel and Skittle don't get along well, she pulls his tail, and he jumps up on her, mutual bad behaviour.

Frank suddenly stood up and left the room, his plate of pasta hardly touched, still steaming hot.

The rest of our meal was eaten in near silence, Bob finishing first and feeding a smaller plate of cut up pasta to Angel, who proceeded to get it all over her face.

"Bob, stop encouraging her," I warned, as he made cutesy faces at her as she slopped sauce all down her chin.

"But its so cute," he said, reluctantly dabbing her chin with a napkin.

"Well, thanks for dinner guys, but I'm gonna head home I think," said Mikey awkwardly, drinking the rest of his beer and standing up.

"You sure? You don't want to stay for some beers?" asked Bob.

"No, no I'd rather go spend some time with Alicia and Dan," he said.

"Sure thing," said Bob, following Mikey to the door to see him out.

I walked over to Angel.

"Poor uncle Mikes," I said softly, picking her up from her chair and rocking her gently, patting her back to help her food go down.

"Lets go play shall we?" I asked, pushing her curls back from her forehead.

She nodded and yawned widely.

I walked her through to the living room and set her down in her play-pen so she couldn't get into trouble while I went to check on Frank.

"I'm going to see what uncle Frank is up to, then we'll play," I said, kissing her on the forehead.

"Otay," she said, beginning her giant chunky jigsaw puzzle, a perplexed expression on her face.

I quickly headed upstairs to see what was wrong with Frank, I could hear him moving around in his room, and things crashing as if he was searching for something.

"Frank?" I asked, knocking his door.

I heard him sigh.

The door flung open, his room was turned upside down, his face was tear-stained and a suitcase lay on the floor, half-full of stuff.

"You going somewhere?" I asked.

"I'm going to find Gerard. I cant take it without him any more. I need him," he said, wiping his face on the back of his hand.

"Frank, you have no idea where to even sta-" I began.

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT RAY?! DON'T YOU THINK I LAY HERE, NIGHT AFTER NIGHT WONDERING WHERE HE IS?" he yelled.

"Frankie, calm down, just be reasonable," I said calmly. I was shaking with fear. Frank looked like a mad-man, I'd never seen him yell like this before.

"I'm done with being reasonable," he spat, throwing the last few things into his suitcase.

"I just want him back, I want myself back, because I'm not me without Gerard," he said, zipping it up.

Without saying anything else he began to drag his heavy suitcase past me and down the stairs.

"Frank," I said and he stopped and looked at me.

"What?" he asked, more tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Let me help you load up your car," I said.

If it was me, I would be doing the exact same thing. If Bob were missing I would drive myself crazy with worry, I would have to feel the situation was in my own hands and look for him myself.

"Hey, what's going on?" asked Bob, walking back into the house after seeing Mikey off.

"Frank is going to look for Gee himself," I explained, as Frank aggressively threw his suitcase into the trunk of his car.

"Ah, well, I can't say I wasn't expecting this... good luck," said Bob, clapping his hand onto Franks shoulder.

Frank turned and pulled Bob and I into a hug.

"I'll keep in touch," he said, his voice muffled by Bobs shoulder. Bob reached down and grabbed my hand, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand.

"Good luck," I said.

Bob said nothing, we just watched as Frank jumped into his car and drove off into the night.

"I hope he can find Gerard, we all know how much he needs him," I said. Bob nodded sadly.

We both knew what Frank leaving meant, that he had finally snapped, and that if he couldn't find Gerard, maybe we would have lost them both forever.