Finding Gerard

Mikey's Point Of View

Ring ring

Oh god damn it.

Ring ring

Fuck off, I'm sleeping!

Ring ring

"Mikey, answer the god damn phone!" Alicia nudged me from her side of the bed.

I sighed and reached my hand out into the gloom, searching for the phone. I peeked open one eye to look at the screen.

Withheld number. The clock in the corner said it was 4.08 am. This had better be good...

"Hello?" I yawned.

"Hello, am I speaking to a Mr. Michael Way?" It was a woman. She sounded official.

"That's me," I sighed.

"I'm calling from the Sacramento Police Department. Mr Way, I'm sorry to inform you, but I think we may have found your brother."

My heart skipped a beat. They found Gee?

"That's great news officer, I don't see why you're sorry to tell me that," I said, slightly confused.

"Mr Way, we found a body. We think it may be Gerard Way, we need you to come and see if you can give us a positive identification on the body, I'm so sorry."

My entire body froze. Alicia had obviously heard what the woman had said and she clutched my hand tightly. I could feel her eyes on me.

I flung myself out of the bed, my eyes burning with tears.

"Wh.. what?" I spluttered.

"I'm so sorry Michael," said the officer sympathetically.

"Are you sure its him?" I whispered, the first tear trickling down my cheek.

"From the information we have, this is Gerard Way. White male, 5 feet and 9 inches tall, no piercings or tattoos, perfect teeth, brown eyes and black hair."

"Why do you n-need me to s-see if you already know its him?" I fought to hold back my sobs, I could feel Alicia's hand rubbing my back comfortingly.

"We need a visual confirmation, and everything we have says that you are listed as his next of kin. I'm so sorry, but you need to come out here as soon as you can," I could hear the emotion in the female officers voice. She obviously hadn't been telling people their relatives were dead for very long.

"H-how did he die?" I squeaked, my heart pounding in my chest and tears pouring freely down my face.

"The body we have here was recovered from Washington Lake a few hours ago, we're waiting for a positive identification before we perform a post-mortem," she said. She sounded as if she was close to crying and just reading from a script.

"I-I'll be there," I managed out after a long pause.

"I'm really sorry Mr. W-"

"Stop being sorry, because it isn't your fault officer, I'll be on the first flight out," I said, then hung up the phone.

I stood still for a moment, just trying to take it all in. Gerard might be dead. My brother. My best friend in the world. Gone.

"Mikes, honey, give me a hug," said Alicia. I turned around and she held me in her arms. I couldn't bring myself to hug her back. I could feel her warm tears on my shoulder.

I could feel her stomach against mine, I faintly felt our baby kick. The little niece that Gerard would never meet. I forced back another sob.

I pulled back and put one hand on either side of Alicia's face. Through the darkness I could see her tears glistening on her cheeks.

"It might not be him Mikey, it could be somebody else," she whispered.

"I know. But it sounded like him. How many Gerard lookalikes are running around?" I wiped my face with my hand.

"I'll pray for you," she said quietly.

I kissed her cheek and lightly brushed my hand over her stomach before quickly on the first clothes I found.

"I love you," I said quietly as I left the bedroom. I quickly walked down the hallway and into the next bedroom, leaning over the side of the crib I kissed my two year old son Daniel gently on the forehead before bounding down the stairs and out into the night.

I fumbled in my pocket for my cellphone and quickly found Franks number. I unlocked my car, got in and hit call.

It rang almost a full six times before he answered it.

"What?"

"Frank, its Mikey," I said, unsure of how he would react to me calling him in the middle of the night.

"What do you want? Its the middle of the night" he sighed.

"I.. I have some n-news," I spluttered as I started to cry again.

"What news? About Gee?" he asked, his voice full of hope.

"Gerard is dead," I said, the words spilling from my mouth seeming to make it all so much more real.

"What?" he said in a hollow voice.

"No. That's impossible. He can't be dead Mikey. He isn't dead."

"I got a call from the p-police in Sacramento. Th-they fished his b-body out of a lake or something. Please come with me?"

There was a long silence. All I could hear was small sniffles.

"I can't.. I just.. I c-can't... how can he be gone?" cried Frank.

"We don't know for sure that its him. I want you to come with me to ID this body OK? If... if it is Gee, we can be there for each other."

"I'm in Iowa somewhere, I think," said Frank quietly, followed by a loud sniff.

"OK, find an airport, I think they have those there, leave your car, we'll get it on the way back. Just get on the first plane to California and call me," I instructed.

"What if... what if its him M-mikes?" sobbed Frank.

"We... we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Frankie, if Gee... really is.. gone.. then we, we're just going to have to learn to live without him," I said, choking back tears.

"I don't think I can," squeaked Frank. There was a click and he was gone.

I wiped the tears from my face and turned the keys in the ignition.

Please Gerard, don't be dead.