Finding Gerard

Bob's point of view

"Come on, pleaaasseeee," I begged, trying to make Angel open her mouth to accept the mouthful of green mush I was offering her.

She turned her face away again.

"But you let me feed you the other day, what's the matter?" I said, exasperated at dealing with the stubborn toddler.

"Poopy," she said.

I snorted with laughter.

"Tastes bad? Tastes poopy? Let me check," I said, tasting a small amount of the baby food.

"It does taste poopy!" I said, grimacing. I threw the jar in the trash and got a fresh one, a different flavour.

She ate it without hesitation. I cut up a banana into small pieces and she ate that too. Damn Ray, buying the baby food she wont eat.

I could hear my phone ringing from the other room.

"Stay right there," I said to her, even though she was strapped into her chair and couldn't go anywhere, Ray goes insane if I leave her unsupervised, even just for a second.

"Hello?" I picked up my phone and went right back into the kitchen, so I could watch Angel while I talked.

"Bob, any chance you can get to California?"

It was Frank. He was out of breath.

"Um.. not at this second, no. What's going down?"

"Mikey and I got calls, saying they had found Gerard's body in a lake in Sacramento-"

A cold shiver ran down my spine.

"-But it wasn't him. Then we think we saw him running out of a Starbucks. We chased the guy but you know, its me and Mikey, we never really had any chance of catching anyone."

"So you think he's there? You want us to come and help you look?"

"Pretty much. We already called Billie-Joe, Tre and Mike, seeing as they're local. But we could kinda use all hands on deck."

"Let me talk to Ray about it. What are we supposed to do with Angel?"

"Mikey already called Alicia, she said she'd take her. Please Bob, we need your help. I want to find him. We're so close, I can feel it."

I heard the front door open, then close.

"I'll do my best. Ray just got home, I'll let you know," I said.

"Thanks Bob."

"Bye."

I scooped Angel up out of her chair and went into the hallway to greet him.

"Did you hear from Frank or Mikey?" I asked him as he kicked off his shoes.

"Huh? No," he said, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. He'd been running. I loved him when he was all sweaty.

"They think they saw Gerard, in California. They want us to go out there and help them look for him," I said.

He just looked at me.

"OK," he shrugged.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, we could go for a couple days."

"Are.. are you sure?" I asked. He was acting strange.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Let me take a shower and we'll talk about it," he said, walking past me, kissing the top of Angel's head gently as he went.

What the hell is up with him today?

Frank's point of view

"GERARD!" I yelled again, my voice almost hoarse.

I had walked up and down this same street so many times, I was so sure he was around here somewhere.

"GE-" a hand was roughly shoved over my mouth and I was dragged into an alleyway and shoved against the wall face first.

"Hello, Frank," said a very familiar voice.

"Gee?" I said, eyes brimming with tears.

"You need to go home," he said.

I tried to turn my head to look at him, but he held it against he wall roughly so I couldn't move. His other hand was pinning my two hands behind my back.

"Gee, please, come with me, we can make this work I-"

He hit me. In the back of the head. Hard.

"Stop looking for me Frank. Go the fuck home," he said, I could hear his voice shaking.

"You're.. you're hurting me," I whispered as he pinned me to the wall harder.

"Good. Leave me alone. Or all I'm going to do is hurt you more."

I wriggled and turned around suddenly. It caught him off guard. His knee collided with my stomach.

"Gerard," I spluttered, dropping to my knees on the ground.

I looked up at him, clutching my stomach where he had kicked me. The first tear rolled down my face as I saw him properly for the first time in over a year.

His face was very pale, even more pale then usual. He had probably lost about thirty pounds since I had last seen him, he looked like a skeleton.
His arms were covered in angry red marks and bruises, his hair hanging limp and filthy, almost to his shoulders. His eyes looked dead. The hazel orbs didn't shine with their usual warmth and love. They were sunken, and cold and bloodshot.

"Gerard just look at you," I said, trying not to sob.

"SHUT UP. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" He roared, aiming a kick at my ribcage.

His foot collided with my ribs, hard, and I winced.

"Frank. Go home. Now. Take my brother, and whoever else is out here with you on your retarded little rescue mission, and get the fuck out of here," he spat.

"I can't do that Gee. I can't live without you. That's why I'm here. It just isn't the same. I feel so empty without you," I said, letting the tears fall.

"Oh Frank. Always such a fucking pansy," he said, voice filled with disgust.

"Its been over for how long now? Just let me go. I don't want you, I don't want any of you. This is what I want."

His eyes were bulging out of his skull. He was so drugged up he probably couldn't even see straight.

"Just talk to me. Please, just talk to me. There's so much for you to come home to. You're going to be an uncle again," I offered, hoping that would tug at his heartstrings at least a little bit.

He was still stood towering over me, weight shifting from foot to foot, eyes darting between me and the end of the alleyway, checking there was nobody else around.

"No Frank. No. I can't. I won't. I have to.. I have to..." his hands started to shake. He was stammering his words.

"I can't leave you here like this. You're killing yourself," I whispered.

"Killing myself? Sugar, I'm just learning how to live!"

"This isn't living Gerard. You need to come back."

He started looking up and down the alleyway more rapidly, I could sense he was about to run off.

Doing something completely stupid, I launched myself forwards and tackled him to the ground. With a loud thud, he crumpled. I quickly climbed on top of him and sat straddling his chest to hold him down.

He struggled violently. I pulled my cellphone from my pocket and started calling everyone. I called Mikey and told him where I was. I called Billie-Joe and told him where I was. I called the fucking cops and told them I was being attacked and where I was, all the while trying desperately to keep my grip on Gerard.

"I got him," cried Billie-Joe, appearing at the end of the alleyway. He quickly dived in and helped me pin Gerard down.

We sat and waited until the wail of the sirens drew closer and closer.

Gerard was bundled into the back of the police car, screaming and kicking. It didn't matter he was going to jail. At least then I know he'll be safe from himself.

I found Gerard. But now I needed to find out if Gerard still existed inside his shell.