I Never Told You What I Do For A Living
You Can't Turn Back Because This Road Is All You'll Ever Have
I waited for the sound of car doors closing and taking off before I opened the pantry doors, and exited the cramped excuse of a storage compartment.
I expected Brendon to follow me, but he just stood in his place staring at the floor.
"Bren?" I asked walking over to him. He didn't respond. I placed my arm on his shoulder and he flinched. "Brendon, are you alright?" I asked softly.
"My mother called me a demonic faggot." he mumbled almost inaudibly. I sighed.
"Brendon, she's a lunatic remember? And you got offended earlier because Spencer said I was scarier. I thought you didn't care." I tried to reason.
"It's one thing to have news reporters, victims, or even people you don't know say horrible things about you. But when it's your own mother... I haven't seen her in years... Then for her to say..." his voice broke at the end. I looked closer and noticed he was crying. My eyes widened.
I don't know how to comfort people when they cry. The only people I ever have to deal with cry are the ones I kill. But this was my boyfriend, someone I actually loved, and he was crying over his mother.
I wrapped him in a hug and kissed his cheek.
"It will be okay Bren." I whispered. He sniffed.
"Why did I do this huh Ryan? Why did I have to fucking abandon my family and loose their love and trust? Why couldn't I have just gotten married and had a million kids like she wanted? Why can't I have what Spencer has?" he choked on his sobs.
"Because that's not who you are." I told him. "You would have been unhappy that way. Spencer… he's a good guy. You're not. I thought you loved that. That's one of the many things I love about you." I said. He clung to me, but didn't respond.
"Bren, I you're family now." I continued. "Me and Spencer. We're all you need. Especially me. There's no use in dwelling in what could have been. And turning back now would be of no use, you'd just go to jail. Right now, this road is all you have, but I'm with you every step of the way. Brendon, the only thing you have to worry about now is getting caught. And that's all just par of the game." I finished my speech and by now his crying had stopped.
He looked up at me with red puffy beautiful eyes.
"I love you to. So much." he mumbled. The sight of him crying almost made me want to cry.
Almost.
He grabbed my face and kissed me passionately, moving his lips desperately.
"I love you Ryan. Please don't ever leave me." he mumbled into my neck.
"I won't. I promise."
I expected Brendon to follow me, but he just stood in his place staring at the floor.
"Bren?" I asked walking over to him. He didn't respond. I placed my arm on his shoulder and he flinched. "Brendon, are you alright?" I asked softly.
"My mother called me a demonic faggot." he mumbled almost inaudibly. I sighed.
"Brendon, she's a lunatic remember? And you got offended earlier because Spencer said I was scarier. I thought you didn't care." I tried to reason.
"It's one thing to have news reporters, victims, or even people you don't know say horrible things about you. But when it's your own mother... I haven't seen her in years... Then for her to say..." his voice broke at the end. I looked closer and noticed he was crying. My eyes widened.
I don't know how to comfort people when they cry. The only people I ever have to deal with cry are the ones I kill. But this was my boyfriend, someone I actually loved, and he was crying over his mother.
I wrapped him in a hug and kissed his cheek.
"It will be okay Bren." I whispered. He sniffed.
"Why did I do this huh Ryan? Why did I have to fucking abandon my family and loose their love and trust? Why couldn't I have just gotten married and had a million kids like she wanted? Why can't I have what Spencer has?" he choked on his sobs.
"Because that's not who you are." I told him. "You would have been unhappy that way. Spencer… he's a good guy. You're not. I thought you loved that. That's one of the many things I love about you." I said. He clung to me, but didn't respond.
"Bren, I you're family now." I continued. "Me and Spencer. We're all you need. Especially me. There's no use in dwelling in what could have been. And turning back now would be of no use, you'd just go to jail. Right now, this road is all you have, but I'm with you every step of the way. Brendon, the only thing you have to worry about now is getting caught. And that's all just par of the game." I finished my speech and by now his crying had stopped.
He looked up at me with red puffy beautiful eyes.
"I love you to. So much." he mumbled. The sight of him crying almost made me want to cry.
Almost.
He grabbed my face and kissed me passionately, moving his lips desperately.
"I love you Ryan. Please don't ever leave me." he mumbled into my neck.
"I won't. I promise."
♠ ♠ ♠
I know. It's soooo short. I'm sorry. I was having a slight writers block. Agh.