Status: Completely written- now, to post it all
The Last Place
18
I took special care with my makeup and hair before hurrying off to my second class. It had taken me so long to pull myself together that it was in the last couple of minutes of my first class. There was no point in going there, especially if I had a chance at beating Shea to physics. This way, I wouldn’t back out and high-tail it back to my dorm room.
And so I was studiously scanning the syllabus to see what I’d missed, which turned out to just be some notes and a lecture- no big deal, when Shea walked in.
I saw, with my peripheral vision, Shea freeze when he saw me, and did a mental victory dance. Carmen had been right, class was a better place to deal with things.
Carmen slid into her usual seat next to me and winked. I grinned and forced myself to keep smiling when Shea walked over. It broke my heart all over again, seeing him looking at me with such obvious concern.
“Aislin! You’re here! What’s been going on? Where have you been?”
“The bell’s going to ring. You’d better sit down,” I told him coldly.
“Aislin?” I could hear the hurt in his voice, and looked to Carmen for support. She gave me a small smile and turned to glare at Shea. He turned and went to his seat, but I could feel his gaze on me throughout class. It was hard, but I managed to only look at him twice.
It was lunchtime, and I had so far managed to avoid any conversation with Shea that wasn’t related to school. I sat there at my usual table with Carmen, chatting innocently, when he snatched my hand and pulled me up, dragging me out of the room.
“Shea, what are you doing!”
“I need to talk to you,” he said a little desperately.
“Now, where have I heard that before?”
Shea groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “This is different.” I raised one eyebrow and waited for him to continue. “I was going to ask you to Homecoming, last time.” I opened my mouth, and shut it again.
“You… what?” It was like time froze; my heart’s racing brought me back to the moment.
“But I chickened out.”
“Oh.” What was I supposed to say to that? “I wouldn’t have said yes,” I said honestly. Shea winced, turned, and started walking away from me. I hurried after him, grabbing his arm and refusing to let go when he tried to pull away. “I don’t want to like you, Shea. It goes against everything I ever thought about you, and what Fallon thought about you. That matters to me, probably more than it should. But I guess feelings, they’re not something you can just turn away from. Wishing doesn’t make them go away.”
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” Shea kept his face turned away from me.
“Not exactly.” Now I let go and started heading back to the Dining Hall; it was his turn to stop me. I did my best to wriggle out of his grip, but it was no use.
“Then why? I thought things were great between us, and all of a sudden I find you lying on the ground in the rain, then you disappear for a day, then you act like we’re not even friends. And now you say… that, and you’re just going to walk away from me?” He sounded so angry.
Well, I could be angry, too. “I saw you kissing that… tramp! And I just… I freaked out.”
It was silent for a long moment, and his grip on my arm slackened. Now thoroughly mortified, I yanked myself away from him and sprinted down the hall. I heard him running after me, but that only had me pushing faster. I ducked into a shady doorway and heard him pass it up, then grinned to myself and sprinted to the Dining Hall. I figured it was the last place he’d go looking for me.
Of course, I couldn’t avoid Shea all day. I needed to talk to Carmen, needed her advice. But she wasn’t in any of my afternoon classes. Only Shea was. At the end of French, when I was supposed to be talking to him, the first thing he told me was that I didn’t understand what had happened.
“I think I understand perfectly well,” I replied in French.
“No. Please, let me explain. Not here, though. Walk with me after class?” He gave me a pleading look. How could I say no to those eyes? I nodded reluctantly.
“I’m going to regret this,” I told myself, but knowing that didn’t make me change my mind.
And so I was studiously scanning the syllabus to see what I’d missed, which turned out to just be some notes and a lecture- no big deal, when Shea walked in.
I saw, with my peripheral vision, Shea freeze when he saw me, and did a mental victory dance. Carmen had been right, class was a better place to deal with things.
Carmen slid into her usual seat next to me and winked. I grinned and forced myself to keep smiling when Shea walked over. It broke my heart all over again, seeing him looking at me with such obvious concern.
“Aislin! You’re here! What’s been going on? Where have you been?”
“The bell’s going to ring. You’d better sit down,” I told him coldly.
“Aislin?” I could hear the hurt in his voice, and looked to Carmen for support. She gave me a small smile and turned to glare at Shea. He turned and went to his seat, but I could feel his gaze on me throughout class. It was hard, but I managed to only look at him twice.
It was lunchtime, and I had so far managed to avoid any conversation with Shea that wasn’t related to school. I sat there at my usual table with Carmen, chatting innocently, when he snatched my hand and pulled me up, dragging me out of the room.
“Shea, what are you doing!”
“I need to talk to you,” he said a little desperately.
“Now, where have I heard that before?”
Shea groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “This is different.” I raised one eyebrow and waited for him to continue. “I was going to ask you to Homecoming, last time.” I opened my mouth, and shut it again.
“You… what?” It was like time froze; my heart’s racing brought me back to the moment.
“But I chickened out.”
“Oh.” What was I supposed to say to that? “I wouldn’t have said yes,” I said honestly. Shea winced, turned, and started walking away from me. I hurried after him, grabbing his arm and refusing to let go when he tried to pull away. “I don’t want to like you, Shea. It goes against everything I ever thought about you, and what Fallon thought about you. That matters to me, probably more than it should. But I guess feelings, they’re not something you can just turn away from. Wishing doesn’t make them go away.”
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” Shea kept his face turned away from me.
“Not exactly.” Now I let go and started heading back to the Dining Hall; it was his turn to stop me. I did my best to wriggle out of his grip, but it was no use.
“Then why? I thought things were great between us, and all of a sudden I find you lying on the ground in the rain, then you disappear for a day, then you act like we’re not even friends. And now you say… that, and you’re just going to walk away from me?” He sounded so angry.
Well, I could be angry, too. “I saw you kissing that… tramp! And I just… I freaked out.”
It was silent for a long moment, and his grip on my arm slackened. Now thoroughly mortified, I yanked myself away from him and sprinted down the hall. I heard him running after me, but that only had me pushing faster. I ducked into a shady doorway and heard him pass it up, then grinned to myself and sprinted to the Dining Hall. I figured it was the last place he’d go looking for me.
Of course, I couldn’t avoid Shea all day. I needed to talk to Carmen, needed her advice. But she wasn’t in any of my afternoon classes. Only Shea was. At the end of French, when I was supposed to be talking to him, the first thing he told me was that I didn’t understand what had happened.
“I think I understand perfectly well,” I replied in French.
“No. Please, let me explain. Not here, though. Walk with me after class?” He gave me a pleading look. How could I say no to those eyes? I nodded reluctantly.
“I’m going to regret this,” I told myself, but knowing that didn’t make me change my mind.