Status: Completely written- now, to post it all
The Last Place
05
Carmen found me weeping in the girl’s bathroom. She hugged me and gently asked, “What happened?”
“Shea,” I choked out. Her expression darkened.
“That-”
“No,” I cut her off before she could start calling him names he didn’t deserve. “I’ve been so focused on him that I haven’t been thinking about Fallon as much.”
“Well, that’s great!” Carmen smiled and looked genuinely pleased.
“No, it’s not!” I yelled, ripping myself out of her arms. “I can’t forget about him. He deserves to be remembered. He deserves my loyalty.”
“He has it. But it’s not healthy, what you’re doing to yourself. Fallon would want you to move on. Don’t forget him, but don’t waste your life away because he’s not there,” Carmen said gently. I shook my head, denying that even as the words sunk in and made a sort of sense I hadn’t been seeing before.
Carmen hugged me again and instead of pushing her away, I let her comfort me while I wept.
After dinner, Carmen and I were in the library doing homework. The teachers in this school had somehow gotten it into their heads that we needed extra work to start off the school year, to get our minds back into working condition. For tomorrow, I had to write two essays, do one project, and come up with some sort of presentation that ‘represents my place in society’.
Fallon and I used to make fun of how much they expected from us in the first week. We used to blow off steam that way. Instead, I had Carmen. It wasn’t the same, but I couldn’t help but like her.
“You can’t replace Fallon,” I said without thinking. She looked up at me bemusedly.
“I know that.”
“Don’t even try, because it won’t work,” I warned.
She laughed. “Aislin, you’re being absurd. I don’t want Fallon’s place in your life. I want my own.”
“Then I guess… we can be friends,” I said. I laughed at myself. In any other situation, I would have felt really idiotic saying that. Still, I somehow felt lighter than I had in months. A friend. I could have one friend, right? The chances of anything bad happening to her were… lower. She didn’t play extreme sports. The only risks she took, as far as I knew, involved dating several boys at once. But that only led to heartbreak. She didn’t snowboard or play any other extreme sports.
Carmen laughed and smiled a smile that was as wide as Texas. “Finally.” She opened her mouth to add more, but shut it again and smiled slyly.
Someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped about a mile. I heard deep, male laughter and flushed. Turning around, I saw that it was Shea. “What are you doing here?”
The amusement on his face almost, but not quite, died. “You left this in French today.” He held out a small book and I nearly snatched it out of his hands and ran from the room then and there.
“Did you read this?” I asked, my voice deathly serious.
One eyebrow rose. “No. But judging from your reaction, I should have.” He made to flip open the cover and I scrambled to tear it out of his grip. I managed, but my chair tipped in the process. I was mostly on my feet, but I got tangled up and would have plopped onto the floor if Shea hadn’t caught me. He looked at me funny. I couldn’t tell if he was more amused or befuddled.
“Thanks,” I said, looking anywhere but at him, “for bringing it to me, and for catching me.” He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. This wasn’t normal for us. We’d always had a natural enmity. I was feeling pretty off-balance, too.
But then, I had been for months. Why should today be any different?
Shea turned around and started walking away. “Silva,” I called on an impulse. He turned and I said, “See you tomorrow.” He stared at me for a long moment and I could feel my whole body tingling from it. Then he turned and walked briskly out of the library. After I couldn’t see him anymore, I turned back to Carmen.
“Wow,” she giggled. “If I had that kind of attraction with someone-”
“Attraction?” I cut her off. “No.”
“Yes,” she argued. “I swear, when you’re in the same room as him, the temperature goes up five degrees.”
“You just want there to be attraction between us,” I told her. “You live for this sort of thing.”
Carmen shrugged. “Believe what you like.” The way she said it irked me. If I argued, it would sound like she was right. If I didn’t, it let her win outright. So I did the perfectly mature thing and stuck my tongue out at her.
“Shea,” I choked out. Her expression darkened.
“That-”
“No,” I cut her off before she could start calling him names he didn’t deserve. “I’ve been so focused on him that I haven’t been thinking about Fallon as much.”
“Well, that’s great!” Carmen smiled and looked genuinely pleased.
“No, it’s not!” I yelled, ripping myself out of her arms. “I can’t forget about him. He deserves to be remembered. He deserves my loyalty.”
“He has it. But it’s not healthy, what you’re doing to yourself. Fallon would want you to move on. Don’t forget him, but don’t waste your life away because he’s not there,” Carmen said gently. I shook my head, denying that even as the words sunk in and made a sort of sense I hadn’t been seeing before.
Carmen hugged me again and instead of pushing her away, I let her comfort me while I wept.
After dinner, Carmen and I were in the library doing homework. The teachers in this school had somehow gotten it into their heads that we needed extra work to start off the school year, to get our minds back into working condition. For tomorrow, I had to write two essays, do one project, and come up with some sort of presentation that ‘represents my place in society’.
Fallon and I used to make fun of how much they expected from us in the first week. We used to blow off steam that way. Instead, I had Carmen. It wasn’t the same, but I couldn’t help but like her.
“You can’t replace Fallon,” I said without thinking. She looked up at me bemusedly.
“I know that.”
“Don’t even try, because it won’t work,” I warned.
She laughed. “Aislin, you’re being absurd. I don’t want Fallon’s place in your life. I want my own.”
“Then I guess… we can be friends,” I said. I laughed at myself. In any other situation, I would have felt really idiotic saying that. Still, I somehow felt lighter than I had in months. A friend. I could have one friend, right? The chances of anything bad happening to her were… lower. She didn’t play extreme sports. The only risks she took, as far as I knew, involved dating several boys at once. But that only led to heartbreak. She didn’t snowboard or play any other extreme sports.
Carmen laughed and smiled a smile that was as wide as Texas. “Finally.” She opened her mouth to add more, but shut it again and smiled slyly.
Someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped about a mile. I heard deep, male laughter and flushed. Turning around, I saw that it was Shea. “What are you doing here?”
The amusement on his face almost, but not quite, died. “You left this in French today.” He held out a small book and I nearly snatched it out of his hands and ran from the room then and there.
“Did you read this?” I asked, my voice deathly serious.
One eyebrow rose. “No. But judging from your reaction, I should have.” He made to flip open the cover and I scrambled to tear it out of his grip. I managed, but my chair tipped in the process. I was mostly on my feet, but I got tangled up and would have plopped onto the floor if Shea hadn’t caught me. He looked at me funny. I couldn’t tell if he was more amused or befuddled.
“Thanks,” I said, looking anywhere but at him, “for bringing it to me, and for catching me.” He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. This wasn’t normal for us. We’d always had a natural enmity. I was feeling pretty off-balance, too.
But then, I had been for months. Why should today be any different?
Shea turned around and started walking away. “Silva,” I called on an impulse. He turned and I said, “See you tomorrow.” He stared at me for a long moment and I could feel my whole body tingling from it. Then he turned and walked briskly out of the library. After I couldn’t see him anymore, I turned back to Carmen.
“Wow,” she giggled. “If I had that kind of attraction with someone-”
“Attraction?” I cut her off. “No.”
“Yes,” she argued. “I swear, when you’re in the same room as him, the temperature goes up five degrees.”
“You just want there to be attraction between us,” I told her. “You live for this sort of thing.”
Carmen shrugged. “Believe what you like.” The way she said it irked me. If I argued, it would sound like she was right. If I didn’t, it let her win outright. So I did the perfectly mature thing and stuck my tongue out at her.