August

I left home when I turned eighteen because, to me, home was hell.

My father expected things from me that always seemed so impossible.

I had told him I was going to Dartmouth but really, I went to U of M to get a teaching degree.

Once I graduated, I moved to Maine, there, I was offered a job at a local preschool.

I loved children, there was no way I could possibly pass it up.

It’s also where I meet you. Nathaniel August, the love of my life.

You beared many secrets, some of which I found out later in our relationship that nearly tore us apart.

You had an addiction to crack. It’s what you turned to when you were...disowned by them.

I was there with you, holding your head up late at night, while you were busy battling the demons inside you.

I never doubted you like others would. I stuck beside you because I knew you were strong enough to over come this.

And you did.

You went to rehab, you got help, and you got better.

The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing you will never touch again. Because if you did, you knew I’d leave you.

You were sober for three whole months when my dad decided to drop in.

He was so disappointed in me. Not because I had lied to him, but because I had become this, as he put it. A school teacher, practically married to a druggie.

Your protectiveness had kicked up a notch right about then. You defended me and told him everything I’d confided in with you. You told him about how I only told him I was going to Dartmouth to please him, and how he had set impossible goals for me to reach.

I was so angry with you. I yelled at you after he left about how I’d trusted you with that and that that was something he was never supposed to know. Because I knew he only did it out of love. He had just wanted the best for me.

That was our first real argument of many.

We fought about stupid things, things that didn’t mean anything.

Just the slightest thing would send us screaming at each other.

I hated it. I hated fighting. Especially with you.

Our arguments became more frequent after you told me what you were.

We found ourselves becoming further and further apart from each other, and eventually I left. I told you I couldn’t take it anymore and I left.

Just like that. After all we’ve been through. I left.

I had moved to a new house in a different part of Maine. I had to wake up two hours early just to get to work on time. Like I said, I loved those kids, I wasn’t going to give up what I loved just because of you.

Being without you was the absolute worst time of my life. Hands down.

There was always this achy feeling in my chest, this hollow ringing in my ear.

You had told me we were “mates” once. I hadn’t believed you. I didn’t want to believe you.

I’d tried everything to get my mind off you, working later than usual, yoga, hell, I even tried dating.

But, eventually, you came to take me back to our old home. You said you would take me kicking and screaming if you had to, but you were going to get me back.

Truth be told, I’d never been more scared of you then right at that moment. And never had I been more turned on either. You had always been gentle with me, letting me boss you around some times, but when you dominated.... Well, you scored whenever you did.

You had packed my things for me and had taken me back home, by force.

We, well, you had talked for hours that night, you told me you were sorry about how things went, but, honestly? I didn’t trust you anymore.

You told me all about your childhood and how your pack had disowned you when you started causing trouble with the females and starting fights with the males. After that, you turned to drugs for an escape.

And then you told me that Carlos, a friend of yours, had welcomed you into his pack. That’s why you hadn’t come after me right away.

Then, you were furious. You had smelt the other men on me, the ones I had dated briefly. You had told me I was yours and crawled over me, menacingly, getting ready to prove your point.

You bit my neck in reprimand. Your hands roaming my body, down to my hips. Your wide thighs spreading mine so you were practically smothering me. You sucked and licked and bit my neck, your hands discarding my shirt to the floor along with my other clothing.

You made you point by marring my body with marks of your possession all night long.

I may have hated how you tried to control me but I love being intimate with you. I was inexperienced before you came into my life, but I just know that no one could ever even come to compare with you.

Eventually, you did gain my trust back because there is no denying how irrevocably in love I am with you.

—

I dried off my hands after washing them, turning to the side to look at myself in the mirror, smiling all the while.

I threw my trash away, opened the bathroom door, and wondered around the house to find you.

I found you lounging on the couch like any other Tuesday, watching whatever just so happened to be on.

I curled up into your side, tucking my feet under me. I traced invisible patterns on your chest, humming silently to myself.

“August?”

“Mmm?” You muttered, not really listening.

I stopped tracing and beamed up at you. “I’m pregnant.”