Flashes of Emotion

I followed her to the kitchen and watched as she started to make the coffee with her back to me. It felt awkward, mostly because I felt awkward and I think she may have sensed that. Once she turned the coffee maker on she turned around with a bright smile. Admittedly she had a great smile, she had one dimple that would form and her lips wouldn’t completely disappear because naturally she had quite the pout. Not crazy Angelina Jolie pout but the right size. Fuck why am I going into depth trying to describe her mouth?

“It’ll be a few moments, so um would you like to vent now? Then have coffee and cookies or vent later with no comfort food?” she asks. I looked at her somewhat hesitant to even tell her what was bothering me. “Or we can just have coffee and cookies and just talk about how the snozberries taste like snozberries.”

I couldn’t help but let out a throaty chuckle. Immediately I felt at ease and that there was no pressure to talk which in turn made me want to talk. As stupid as that sounded, I actually wanted to talk to her about my problems because I had this feeling that she wouldn’t treat me any differently. She probably took my silence afterwards as a I sign I wasn’t going to talk about anything so she began pouring the coffee into the mismatched mugs.

“My wife has been cheating on me,” I found myself blurt out. Once I said this statement I saw her stop briefly as she filled the last cup then continued finishing it off.
“And she knows you know, but you don’t know where to go from there.”

It was almost as if she was reading my mind. I nodded and took the cup of coffee in my hands as she grabbed the tin of what I assumed to be cookies towards her living area where there was a place to sit. Ro cautiously took a sip of her coffee then set it on the medium sized coffee table then opened the tin container to reveal some chocolate chip cookies that looked delicious.

“Okay so you feel like shit now, I know the feeling,” she states as she dunked her cookie into her coffee. I saw a flash of sadness pass over her eyes and I realized that perhaps she understood how I felt on a very personal level.
“Someone has cheated on you?”

“Yeah.”
“Did you get past it with them?” I found myself asking.
“The first time yes. It was in the beginning of the relationship so I overlooked it and deemed it acceptable because well being together was fairly new for both of us. The second time was the one that got me though,” Ro answered as she bit into the cookie, “I imagine it being worse for you though because you are married to this girl.”

“We’ve been married for a year or so but we’ve been together since high school.”
“Is her cheating a repeated occurrence?” she inquires.
“Yeah and I fucking hate it, I mean I know I’ve been more distant since Jimmy died but she should understand that, I don’t know what I did wrong,” I answer as I grew more frantic.
“Matt, some people are emotional vampires, they have this disgusting need to know how you feel and if you love them. When you don’t give them that emotional tie that’s when they go elsewhere to feel that emotion, its when you assume they know what’s going on is what makes them think nothing is going on. I’m not saying your wife is an emotional vampire but its obvious there was some emotional need that wasn’t being met,” Ro says then suddenly looked embarrassed, “Sorry that sounded ridiculous ignore my rambling.”

“No its actually pretty insightful,” I comment. I thought over her words and it sounded pretty accurate. So accurate I wondered just how long she went out with this guy that cheated on her. “This guy you were with, was it a serious thing?”

“As serious as either of us ever gotten. I’ve known him since grade school. It wasn’t until freshman year of high school that we started being really close, which was weird because he lived like two hours away but anyways we didn’t start dating until after my senior prom then went off and on from there until about 6 months ago when I broke it off for good.”
“Because of the cheating?”
“Because things were never going to be stable. We are so fucking different and the only common trait we have is being stubborn so everything was a struggle. He liked to play games and try to get me jealous while I hated games and refused to give in to them,” she replies drinking more coffee.
“Do you still love him?” I ask without thinking. Ro turned to me with a serious face.
“Of course, I do, he’s my first love, he’ll always have a place in my heart. Even if there were some pretty awful times, there were some really great moments. He’s actually really wonderful but we’ll never function as a real couple. It’s just hard coming to terms with those sorts of things when that person is all you know.”
“So he was the one that called tonight?”
“Yeah, one of my bitchier moments, he wants to get back together, I can’t deal with another break up so I resort to sarcasm during phone calls. I’m pretty awful but I keep telling myself to stay strong and move along,” Ro laughs. I looked at Ro, astonished with her optimism and ability to take something like this in stride. It was pretty ballsy but then again I had seen her fight and she was fearless.

“What if he asked you to marry him?”
“I’d say no because like music, there are certain types of people you marry. Anthony was my old school rap, I am always happy to hear it on the radio but I wouldn’t listen to it all the time. I’m looking for my classic rock, someone I can always listen to and enjoy without getting sick of them, classic rock is timeless. When I find my classic rock I’ll marry him,” she smiles.

I smiled back at her, absolutely in love with her way of explaining relationships through music. It was unlike anything I had heard and now I began thinking about my relationship with Val. What was Val to me?

Not realizing it, we continued talking and eating the cookies until they were all gone. She was incredibly easy to talk to. I felt comfortable and at ease around her like I had known her my whole life. Eventually it got to the part of the night where I started to head out and Ro was walking me to the door.

“So if a guy asked you out would you be ready to move on?” I question truly wanting know but immediately felt like an ass for asking.
“If a guy asked me out I’d give them a chance since, not a lot of guys have the balls to ask me out. Why do you ask?” she counters with a teasing smile. Fuck, think of something Matt.
“Uh I think Zacky is into you so I figured I ask to be a good wingman,” I ramble awkwardly as I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Are you interested?”
“Well he hasn’t asked me out Matt, and I don’t really know him too well but I suppose if he asked I wouldn’t object,” Ro rambles obviously not used to being told that someone was interested in her.
“Don’t feel pressured to say yes to him,” I say dumbly. For some reason I was hoping she’d say no.
“I don’t feel pressured, its just a surprise that’s all. He seems like a good guy.”
“He’s a great guy,” I reply with a big cheesy smile.
“Well if he asks me out I will give him a shot,” she smiles back.
“Good.”
“Well you better head home its pretty much dawn right now and well you need some sleep much like I do.”
“Alright thanks for letting me vent and everything. The cookies were really amazing too,” I respond.

“It was nothing honestly, sort of nice talking to someone,” Ro says softly. From the look in her murky green eyes I could tell that talking about her break up wasn’t something she did with everyone; that she felt comfortable around me. The thought of her comfort that she felt around me got me filled with pride.

“It is,” I finally say then paused looking down at her as she leaned lazily against the door, “Goodnight Ro.”
“Goodnight Matt,” she smiles.

I left her house feeling quite a bit better. The good vibes took me back to my place and I realized that Val was gone, nowhere to be seen. It seemed like my luck was in and I went to my den then fell asleep soundly.

Several hours later I woke up showered and then as I was pulling a shirt over my head I saw Brian standing there in my house looking pissed. Looked like the start of my good day was over.