A Shot at Love

Kellan...♥


I couldn't think straight. I couldn't speak straight. I couldn't do anything right now could I. I had to open my mouth and listen to both sides and take only one instead of properly talking to both of them. I don't even know why I came here. Now I'm regretting everything. I'll choose the wrong woman and get divorced in a year or so after this is all done. Was I seriously that desperate? But now when I look at it...they are all just as desperate as me...why else would they come here?

Everyone needs a shot at love...everyone needs to feel and be happy right? But not every girl was going to be happy with me. No girl was ever satisfied with what I did and how I treat them in a relationship. Some want sex, others just want fame. Not once in my life have I faced a girl who really loves me for who I am...not once. And that breaks my heart. I threw a hand through my hair and sighed as I sat out on the balcony that was connected to my room.

I looked up at the stars...we had the results show in two days. I didn't even connect with anyone! I took out a piece of paper and started scribbling what I wanted to do. Group dates. Eren, Dominique, Zoey, Tyra, Brittany, Alisha, Carrie, Chantal, Bree, Marissa, Jackie, and Taylor were going on the group date.

Elena, Violet, and Rain were staying at home for one on one dates. I was satisfied enough and closed my eyes as I rested my head against the wall that I sat at and sighed. I heard footsteps but thought nothing of them, until someone sat down next to me and sighed. I opened my eyes and turned to look at her. Elena looking out towards the moon, "I'm sorry." She said softly. I looked at her stunned, "What?" I wondered, "I shouldn't have pushed Elena into the pool and I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm just sick and tired of having people walk all over me cause I look weak and pathetic."

I continued looking at her. Gosh I never knew she felt that way, "Your not weak and pathetic." She laughed bitterly, "You took Eren's side. Out of all the people I didn't think you as the great Kellan Lutz would humiliate me like that on live television." Tears formed in her beautiful eyes as she continued to badger me with words, "Just send me home on the next results show. I don't want to get humiliated. I came here to find someone. I didn't come here to be humiliated and disgraced and have my family watch every step of the way." I took her hand in mine, "I didn't mean to humiliate you. And I don't want to send you home. I know what I did was wrong and what you did was wrong. We just need to get over it. Are you with me or no?"

She looked at me and sighed, "I'm with you. And I have to admit fighting for you is hard...but I'm doing the best I can." She cracked a soft smile.

____

The camera was on me as I told my feelings out loud.

"I need a person like Elena. You know one that doesn't wait for me to apologize after doing something wrong...but apologizes for being just as cruel as I was...I don't know. My feelings are all jumbled up and I don't have another outlet. I just...want to have the group date done and over with and take Elena, Violet, and Rain out for a one on one. I'm just as desperate as any other girl here..."

"Like I said I haven't really had a real girlfriend. They were all fake. And I know I'm being played here now...but I don't know who's fake and who's real. I just...I just fall for a girl and not think about the future. It's more of a 'love at the moment' than a 'love for a life time.' thing. It pisses me off to the deepest core because I know I'm putting myself in my own shit hole. It frustrates me knowing that I have my family watching me fail at this. In four weeks we'll be down to about 5 girls...and then we'll be going all over the world to have them introduce me to their family. And I'm already nervous thinking about that and not focusing on the present."

I sighed.

"I actually have no more strength to move on. It's gonna be one hell of a roller coaster from here on out. Fun Kellan is done being fun. Now it's time to be serious. And which ever girl can't be serious on the one on one dates than their out. I'll have to send them home right then and there..."