Illusions to Fix the Twist in You

Andreas

I had asked Corina on a date! On a date for crying out loud! I haven’t told Pat yet, or how I was going to tell him. Our relationship was going well, but it wasn’t like he was my boyfriend or anything.

“Hey you” Pat said as I looked up from my hands. I had been sitting on the bed just thinking about the situation I was currently in.

“Hi” I said quietly as he came over and sat beside me.

“What’s up? You’ve been so quite all day” he said as he put his hand on my back.

“Nothing” I said simply, hoping he’d drop this conversation.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked.

“Not really” I said as I looked up at him.

“Anything that might change your mind?” he asked me, almost smirking at me.

“Why, what do you have in mind?” I smirked back at him.

“Nothing” he said as he got up.

“What did I do?” I asked, knowing full well I did something to piss him off.

“Why, I don’t understand you sometimes” Pat said trying to suppress his anger.

“Isn’t that what makes me interesting?” I asked.

“Yes, I guess” he said as he turned and left.

“I just want you to know that I’m going out tomorrow night”

“No, you are not” he yelled as he stood in the doorway.

“Why not?” I asked, my voice rising.

“Because I can’t allow it, you aren’t fully stable”

“Whatever” I muttered.

“You better not leave”

“Why so you can keep me here as your prisoner?” I yelled as I stood up.

“No, so I can keep you safe from hurting yourself, because the last time, you could have killed yourself” he yelled.

“Oh really, well I’m not dead, so can I at least have some freedom?’

“You know, if you step out tomorrow, don’t ever, and I mean ever return here, we are through” he yelled as he slammed the door.

I just stare at the empty doorway where Pat had stood. I just felt empty inside. I wanted to go on this date with Corina, but I had feelings for Pat no doubt. I was in a dilemma.

**

“Hey” I said as someone came over to me.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d show” she said. It was Corina.

“Why’s that?” I asked as we sat down for something to eat.

“I don’t know, I figured you’d just blow me off,” she said as I gave her a reassuring look.

“I would never do that,” I said as she nodded.

“Good to know. So how have things been, I mean like living with Pat?” she asked as I wished she wouldn’t have brought that up. I was trying to get over that, but if she wanted to talk about it, there was no way I was going to forget it.

“Fine” I said letting the question just dwindle.

“That’s good. He’s been helpful to me,” she stated, as I nodded, not really caring what Pat could, or would do. He hated me and that’s all that mattered in my mind.

“How are you?” I asked trying to break away from Pat.

“I’m great, you want to know why?”

“Why?” she beamed as I smiled at her.

“Because I’m with a handsome boy” she smiled, and blushed a bit as I smiled too.

“Well, I’m here with a gorgeous girl” I said as we ate in silence.

**

“Want to go for a walk, it’s really nice outside,” she said as I looked outside.

“Sure, it’s still light enough to see” I said as she grabbed her purse and I paid for the bill.

“Do you think we could ever be the way we used to be?” she asked after a while in the dark.

“I don’t really think so,” I stated.

“Why?” she sounded hurt.

“Because so much happened, why would you want someone who could attack you at any moment as you’re boyfriend” I said truthfully. It was the truth and it hurt, but it needed to be said.

“But what if I could forgive, and see past all the bad stuff?” she asked desperately trying to hang on. “What if I loved you enough to let you do what you needed?” she asked as tears formed in her eyes.

“Why do you want me around? Do you really love me, or just the idea of me, because I need to know this?” I said sharply, though I didn’t want it to come out that way.

“Andreas” she said softly as she stopped walking. I stopped as well, as she walked a bit ahead, and I let her have her space. She turned to look at me. “I’ve been hiding my feelings for you for a really long time now. And I need you to know that I am absolutely in love with you, and I have been for the longest time” she said just over a whisper. I didn’t know how to react to this. I’ve always wanted Corina to love me, and now that she’s said it, I didn’t have anything to say.

“Andreas” she said as I looked up at her. Nothing was going to be good if I put it into words so I just walked over towards her. “Are you ok?” she asked softly as I nodded.

“I needed to hear you say that” I said as I bent down and kissed her. This was better than me saying anything that I could muster. She knew this was sincere and I knew it too. I pulled away and she smiled.

“I’m glad you said that” she smiled. “I’ve waited for you to say that” I couldn’t do anything but smile.

“Thanks for coming on the date, shall I walk you home?” I asked as she giggled.

“Yes”

“Good because I wasn’t going to take no for an answer” I said as I kissed her again before we set out for her house.

**

“Thanks for asking for the date, I had fun,” she said as she kissed me. “I’m going to miss you’re lips, and you” she blushed.

“I’ll miss you too,” I said as I kissed her one last time before she walked into her home. I then turned to walk off. I turned my phone on and saw 34 missed calls.

“What the hell?” I said out loud as my phone went off again. I looked at the caller id and saw Pat. Why would he be calling, he hated me, but I answered anyways.

“Hello?” I asked nervous.

“Andreas, where are you?” he asked angry, but worry hidden underneath.

“I’m out like I said I would be, now if you don’t mind, I need to find a place to stay”

“No, wait Andreas” he yelled. “No, you don’t please don’t hang up on me, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said”

“Pat, you never do, so stop telling me things. I’m tired of you saying something you don’t mean, so shut up and let me live my life. I don’t know why you keep trying to keep me safe,” I yelled rather loudly. I could hear him sigh, and it sounded like he was crying.

“Are you crying?” I asked softly, but I wanted it to come out harshly.

“No, I’m fine, just I guess you’re right I need to stop babying you” he said with a sniffle.

“No, Pat, I’m sorry” I had a soft spot for Pat and I couldn’t be mean to him. I started running, and I knew where I was going.

“Andreas” I heard as I closed my phone, hanging up on Pat. It would be ok. Or would it? I loved Corina, but Pat, I loved Pat too.

I reached his house and he opened the door as I got there.

“Pat” I breathed his name.

“Andreas” she said, but that was all he got out before I ran over to him and into his arms.

“I’m so sorry” I said as I pulled away as he pulled me back and kissed me. He kissed me so passionately I knew he loved me in that one kiss.

“Sh. I don’t care, I just care about right now,” he said as he pulled me into the house as he continued to kiss me. I knew I was in for a night.