To Hang the Stars

Once the sub abandoned her hope of controlling the rowdy monsters that are sometimes identifiable as high school students Andy and Chris started talking again.

“I have a friend that moved out to Vegas the year after he graduated and he made me come out for the Sex Pistols show in June! I was just lucky summer break had started!” She said with a laugh recalling the memory. “I had to beg my parents just to go!”

“You like the Sex Pistols?”

“I love the Sex Pistols! That show was the first one in the US in 20 years! I was stoked! It was just a pain in the ass because it was on the west coast and here we are sitting in fuckin’ Ohio that sits randomly in the Midwest damn near east coast status!” She spoke vigorously not truly caring if the sub heard her drop the f-bomb. “I’d do it again though, any day of any week. It was worth it to see Johnny Rotten rocking what looked like pjs up there talking shit about security.”

Laughter is the spark to new friends, no surprise they’d been laughing at each other all day.

He laughed. “I think I love you Christine.”

“So what now you’re going to sing some random Boyz 2 Men in hopes of winning me over?” She joked quickly back. “If it’s I’ll Make Love To You it might be best if you waited until we’re alone.”

Andy’s mind went in an entirely different direction. “What the fuck happened to Boyz 2 Men, seriously?” He spoke dead serious.

She just laughed uncontrollably. So not the direction she expected a reference to a sex song to be taken by a teenage boy.

“No really. What happened to them? Damn this is gonna bother me the rest of the day.” He muttered only fueling the fire of her laughter.

Once he sat there faux sulking long enough for her laughter to die down enough to speak she said. “This would be the point on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire where you’d phone a friend.”

That sparked and idea in him. “Dude my friend Chance would know! I’m calling him when we leave here.”

This brought her mind back to the book store, the both of them heading down there together.

“Are you still coming to the book store with me?”

“Of course.” He said coming back from the random Boyz 2 Men talk.

“Did you drive?”

“Nah, my mom has my car today.” He ruffled his hair as he spoke.

She noticed already that his hands found their way to his hair like everyone was watching him and it had to be perfect… Or maybe it was just because he was honestly having trouble seeing passed his bangs.

When the bell finally rang they were still laughing as they carried their bags out to her car.

Once she put her keys in the ignition he was pulling out his cell phone.

“Hey Chance?” He spoke.

She laughed at his persistence of this Boyz 2 Men thing.

“Ya. Do you know what happened to Boyz 2 Men?”

She had trouble keeping her laughs quiet during this pause.

“Pittsburg?” The sound of something that rang like relief in his voice made her loose all control her laughter filled the car.

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.” With that he was slipping his phone back into his black skinny jeans. “That take a weight off my chest.”

Her laughing didn’t stop.

“Why are you laughing at me? That was serious business.”

She shook her head as her laughter slowed. “You’re too funny Andy.”

He smiled content in keeping her laughing.

When they arrived to the book store, a small hole in the wall called Dead Poet Books, Roger a large gruff seeming white guy greeted them.

“Are you Christine? Consider yourself hired, I’m too shorthanded to take the time to interview you. You’re here -early too- and perfectly presented, as long as you keep this up you’re perfect.” He said hurriedly. “When can you start?”

Never had that happened to her before.

“Tomorrow?” She asked totally unsure of how to handle this.

He sighed in relief. “Great.” Then he turned his attention to Andy. “Are you looking for a job too? I’m obviously hiring?”

His eyes were wide in shock and he stammered out a “Yeah” before the man turned to look at Chris. “You recommend him?”

She nodded loosing her words with how unorthodox this was.

“You’re hired too. See ya tomorrow.”

They left not questioning the insanity they’d just endured.

When they were both back in the car they looked at each other and just broke out in laughter.

She took him home to the new house his family had just moved into that happened to be three streets away from her own. She wagered that she could stick her head out of her bedroom window and yell a conversation with him.

“Thanks for everything today.” He spoke with a sincere smile.

“Don’t thank me. I already know you’re going to be too great of a friend for me to have ignored today.” She spoke in her honestly sweet way. “You’re going to make life interesting. I already know.”

Something in him mustered up the courage to do something his rationality told him was crazy.

His right hand found her cheek and he pressed his lips to hers in a soft chaste kiss.

He pulled away with hope she’d say something good evident in his eyes.

She smiled gently to him but as soon as her saw the look in her eyes he knew he wasn’t getting what he was hopin’ for.

“Andy,” she started before noticing his face drop. “Please don’t look like I just ran over your foot. I just don’t do relationships. I’m more trouble than I’m worth and through my teenage years I’ve committed to loving myself so I never end up one of those women who just jump from crap relationship to crap relationship just because I don’t know how to be alone. You’re a gorgeous guy I just can’t.”

He mustered up a half smile just ready to fake it for her for the moment.

“Andy, please don’t let this end our friendship. I want that chance to have you as a really good friend too much.”

He looked into her eyes that were blazing endearment too brightly for him to let his hurt pride get in the way of what she wanted. Something real came into his smile, “Of course not Chris.” Then he smiled a different smile. “I also think I’ll make you change that rule.” Then he winked and got out of her car.

She laughed as she drove off to her home.

Andy walked in and was met with his mother -it was her day off- relaxing reading a book in their family room having worked on unpacking it all day. He looked around and saw all her progress, just a few more days and they’d be perfectly settled in.

She looked up glasses propped low on her nose as her eyes fell on him and a smile took over her face as she pulled the glasses off. “How was your first day?”

He smiled. “Great actually. Nothing like what I expected.”

She put her book down and pat the seat next to her ready for a good story from her son.

Christine walked through her front door heading for the kitchen where she knew her mother would be cooking.

Her mother -Amanda- a woman that stood 5’6” was round and warm. Before Christine Amanda worked full time as an editor at the local paper, everything was high paced, on a demanding schedule, and just overall stressful and over the top. After Chris she went back to work until all her health problems surfaced. Her baby, her only child, needed her. Maternal instinct won over all her old urges to be on top in her business.

Christine knew and hated that her mother changed her whole life because of the shit luck she got by having a daughter with never ending medical issues.

“How are you feeling today darling?” Her mother’s constant first question.

Christine smiled and came up beside her mother starting to take the dishes she’d dirtied up to this point in the making of dinner and was finished with to the sink to wash them.

“Great mom.”

“Chrissy you don’t have to do that.” Her mother said softy knowing it was pointless really Chris would do it either way. “Great today huh? Job interview and everything?”

A smile worked it’s way to Christine’s lips. “Yeah actually,” and into her voice. “New kid started today. He acted as though he’s never just gone into a place and been openly accepted. I loved making him feel that.”

“You sound interested in this boy.” She sounded surprised.

Christine rolled her eyes. “Mom. Really?”

“Christine. You are 16 you are perfectly allowed to be interested in boys.” She spoke surely directly. Amanda didn’t beat around the bush either.

“Why so more people can be way too emotionally invested in this little cameo of a life I’m to have?” She spoke hotly, she hated this conversation.

“Damnit Christine!” She threw the spatula she’d been using against the skillet eyes clenched shut refusing to turn. “Stop talking like your dying tomorrow! There is no proof you’re dying anytime soon Christine! You could live so much longer than you anticipate and will have wasted all these years being afraid of letting someone else get hurt!”

Christine could hear how close to tears her mother was.

“Why can’t you be just a little selfish for once?”

Chris couldn’t just come out and say she just knew better. She didn’t know why but she always just felt she was to end. How couldn’t she just try to keep everybody ready for that day that they’d have to live without her? She knew it hurt but she figured it’d be easier than it all being a surprise.

“I wish I knew what to expect.” Her mother sighed to herself.

Christine’s medical issues had to have been hidden somewhere on the father’s -whom made no contact with Amanda after she told him she was pregnant- side of the family.

“I’d give anything, anything at all, for a detailed family history. So we could have the doctors prepped for everything.” This was also common from Amanda. “Not be surprised ever again.”

The conversation stopped, it always did once they reached this point, there was nothing more to be said.

Christine had lied to Andy in the car. She wanted him to remain completely out of the loop. It was like keeping him untainted by that knowledge. She didn’t want the sad look to come in his eyes every time she spoke of mortality. She saw it in everybody else, he was freedom from that for her.

She felt like that was the most selfish thing she could do. Indulging in true normalcy.

The next day she didn’t see Andy until after first period.

“Mr King still being an ass?” She asked as they fell into step with each other.

Andy just laughed. “Nope, guess yesterday was enough for him.”

“The man’s just ridiculous, talks like he gets more ass than the toilet seat but is way too repressed for that to be that case.” She snickered right back.

“So my mom wants you and your family to come to dinner. A little thank you for treating me so nice my first day.” Andy rubbed the back of his neck at this awkward subject change.

Christine looked at him amazed. “Were you really treated that bad at your old school?”

“My mom’s really big on the social thing too. She loves knowing all my friends’ parents she knows I get away with absolutely nothing.” He said with his voice engraining itself just a little bit further in her memory.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sure my family would love it.” By about that time they were at the place they had to separate.

“Ok, awesome.” He said easily. “See ya at lunch.”

Once Christine took her seat by Nichole her eyes immediately went to her best friend and she turned her body toward her.

“We can’t tell him.” She said in a rushed voice.

Nichole’s head popped back and her brows dropped trying to decipher this language that sounded like her native tongue but sounded so foreign. "What?"