To Hang the Stars

Andy felt like he’d been punched in the diaphragm and all his air was knocked from him. His best friend was dying. How was he supposed to handle that? They weren’t supposed to die yet. They were kids. There were so many things they hadn’t done yet. He didn’t cry though. He was too stunned to cry.

His mother hadn’t stopped talking. “It’s too late of a diagnosis for treatment to have any effect so she won’t be getting treatment. She won’t have to deal with all the extra symptoms the drugs would give her but she’ll be given stuff toward the end to keep her comfortable.”

“Is she stuck here for the rest of her time?” Andy asked showing only a glimmer of his heartbreak in his voice.

“She’s asking to be released.” His mother said softly, the girl was like a part of the family. It hurt her too. “They’ll let her go.”

He just nodded. He didn’t ask how long Chris had. He couldn’t bring himself to know the grim future of his best friend. Part of him wished he could go back to when he didn’t know a thing. Living in the dark was comfortable. He started to understand why Christine never said a thing.

“Just go back in there Andy and be her friend.” His mother finally added placing her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t mourn her, Andy, she’s not gone yet. She doesn’t want that. You gotta be strong for her baby.”

He looked up into her eyes -the same color as his- felt the honesty seeping through her words and nodded again.

The long legs he’d earlier used for pacing the school were now transporting him back into the room he’d left.

The teary conversation she’d been having with Nicky ended when he walked in and Chris shoed Nicky out for a moment with something along the lines of, “Can you get me a Mr Goodbar from the vending machine.”

Nicky knew better. She knew she was leaving the room for those two to talk but she just went without a fight wiping her eyes on the way.

A slight smile rode up the side of his face. It was a falsehood. The whole idea of smiling right then was a lie.

“I’m sorry I never said anything Andy.” She spoke softly wiping her eyes as he took the recently vacated seat next to her.

“Never apologize Chris, it’s a sign of weakness.” He told her the same thing he tended to say whenever apologies came about. Trying to show her nothing had changed. They were still Andy and Christine, fast friends.

She smiled, she got the message. “So, next week is spring break, ya know?” She started something new. Something she though could at the very least try to take both their minds off the future. “Motley Crue is playing a show in Chicago. We could road trip it.”

He laughed this was Chris. “You want to drive through Indiana to get to Illinois just to see the Crue?”

“Well who ever stopped in Indiana for anything?” She spoke in her glib matter-of-fact tone.

“People from Indiana hate you too.”

“Than it’s even better that we’re not going to stop there.”

He just wasn’t going to win. “You just can’t stop yourself can you?”

She smiled her own little devious smile. “Not even if I wanted to.”

He smiled at her. Part of him was getting attached to this idea of a road trip though. No matter how unsure of the plausibility of it he was.

“Who all would come along?” He asked diving himself deeper into this mess. Part of him was skeptical but the part that was speaking believed so fully that she could talk everyone into it.

“Just us. No one appreciates the Crue like us.” Her most sincere of smile graced her features. “I think my car’s good enough to make the trip too.”

“How long will we stay there?” He let her mind keep going. This was her brainchild.

She screwed her face up in thought. “We could go there the day before do some sight seeing, just roll around Chicago, then go to the concert and drive home the next day?”

He nodded softly. “Sounds perfect.” He took her hand between both of his noticing how cold it was.

“I’ll talk the ‘rents into it if you make the reservations and order the tickets?” She planned the whole thing out in her head. She knew no one could tell her no right now. Not that she was the sort to play that up or go for the “pity me” answers but this was her chance for a road trip. She just wanted to experience a few more things before it was curtains for her. So many things she’d already accomplished because she’s anticipated this for so long but this would finish off her bucket list. Some people’s lists were long and tedious but hers was just short and simple. Just so she’d know she lived a ‘normal’ life. She didn’t want to miss a thing. “Of course that means you’ll have to go home and get on the computer.”

Here’s where he got anxious. “I’m not leaving.”

“If you want this to be even remotely possible you have to. It’s already going to be a bitch to get a hotel room on such short notice plus if the tickets sell out we won’t have any reason to go.” She argued easily. She seemed to always have enough logic to get people out of a hospital room. It was a skill she almost wished she didn’t have. It would mean her life would have gone differently and she wouldn’t have spent so much time in hospitals. “Your mom’s gonna need to go home too. Mom and Nicky’ll be here and you guys can come back well rested tomorrow. Especially because Amy’s got to work tomorrow. She should go home some on her day off.”

Andy knew he’d have to go with it. Christine wouldn’t give in. His stubbornness told him not to back down but then his rationality told him with the clock ticking fighting was too much of a waste of time.

He nodded. “Me and mom’ll head home in a little bit.” For now he just wanted to stay there with her hand between his. It was a sensation he wished for a lifetime of but he was going to get such a fractional time of it. He wanted to let it linger, relish the feeling, let it sink so deeply into his memory that it’d be easier to recall than his own name.

His mind then wandered. He thought about the kiss on the first day they’d met. How soft her lips were. He’d hoped that he’d have the time to convince her to break her stupid rule but now… He understood why she’d stayed out of relationships.

There was the tiniest part of him somewhere deep down that was anticipating the pain he was going to endure that wished he could have let her go and gone for Renee, or Nichole, or even Lauren.

That was his selfish side thinking the horrible thoughts. He felt guilty the second the thought traipsed it’s way through.

Soon enough everybody was in the room again sitting around and talking like they weren’t in a hospital but Andy didn’t move from that chair until he and his mother were leaving.

The doctor had come in and told them Chris would be released at 11am the next morning.

Nicky had to leave then too so it was going to be just Chris and her mom.

“Mrs. Biersack can I talk to you and my mom before you go?” Chris asked as everyone was standing and milling about before walking to that door.

Andy was surprised until he realized she was already trying to hit their parents up about the trip. She would not let this go.

Nicky hugged Chris said her goodbyes and headed out so everything could just go and this night would be over faster for Christine. The sooner her best friend was out of the hospital the happier Nicky could be.

Andy walked much slower looked much more skeptical as he wordlessly leaned over to hug Chris.

Amy read this as Andy not knowing what was going on.

He walked out and waited for the reaction.

***

They were tossing their suitcases into the trunk of Christine’s little white ‘01 Dodge Neon. Both of their parents were standing around giving them the last minute safety notes.

“Keep your phones charged.”

“Don’t leave each other.”

“Don’t do anything Nikki Sixx would.”

Things of the sort that made them laugh. Andy still didn’t know how she did it but it amazed him to no end. Two teenagers two states away at a rock concert and that’s not mentioning that they were of opposing genders. Most parents would die before they’d let their kids do something like this.

“We know, don’t drink, don’t do drugs, and don’t pick up any hitchhikers or hookers, either could kill you.” Chris said with mock exasperation but with a very real smile. “Well be back in like two days… Unless Motley Crue likes us and we run away to live with them as groupies or roadies.”

“Chris,” Her mother warned. The groupie thing was far too possible with Motley Crue. “Also if Tommy’s tit cam comes out?” Amanda knew more about the band then she let on.

“My breasts will be far too far from the stage for it to matter mother.” She said this time rolling her eyes.

“The correct answer is, ‘Mom, my shirt will stay in the appropriate position it was designed to be warn in and no one will see my boobs.’” Amanda said with her hands on her hips.

So Christine’s eyes sarcastically looked up to the sky, “Mom, my shirt will stay against my skin, blah, blah, blah.”

Amanda just ran her hand through her hair, tried not to laugh. This was the snaky little girl she raised. “Have fun Chris. Andy take care of her. Chris watch out for Andy. Don’t hesitate to call if anything goes wrong.”

“Yeah, Andy you know if anything goes wrong me and your mother can be there in hour and a half.” His father spoke easily. He was the most certain that everything would be fine.

“Dad it takes way longer than that to get to Chicago.” Andy spoke confused.

“Not with the way I drive.”

“On that note, don’t drive like Mr. Biersack here.” Amy said wrapping her arm around her husband tucking herself close to him.

Soon enough Andy and Chris escaped their parents and it was nothing but them, the radio, and the open road.