Love Shows When It's There

How could I have forgot about Alex's issue and how he had to take it at his own pace? I felt like such a shit boyfriend. He was still gonna be recovering. Why the fuck was I pushing him? Who was I to tell him what pace he had to go at? I was such a fucking idiot.

Alex hugged me tightly, and although I hugged him back and kissed the top of his head reassuringly, I felt like he should be trying to get as far away from me as he possibly could. Why would he want to be anywhere near me? If I was him, I'd leave me for doing that.

"Jack, stop it. Stop torturing yourself. You can't always have your guard up. I need to learn to drop mine. Please. It's not your fault. You're not to blame," he said into my ear. His breath in my ear sent a shiver down my back.
"I can't help it Alex. I can't make a mistake with you. Not now. Not again. All those fights we had before, in the past. The one over Dan, the one over friends, the one over coffee, and in particular, the one over Holly. After them... I thought I'd lost you forever. After Holly... we didn't speak for half a year. You avoided me. Hell, Alex. I know you well enough to know that you were scared of me," I told him pushing him away and curling into myself.

"Jack. Okay, I'm gonna lay this out to you right now. Yes, I was scared of you... well, verging on terrified. Yes, I avoided you. But I never ever stopped caring about... and loving you. Remember what brought us back together from that?" he asked. I shook my head, trying to remember. "Your aunt had just died. I found you alone in the guys toilets, sobbing. As soon as I saw you then, I couldn't... I wouldn't leave you. You had never lost me. I was your shadow for those six months Jack. I kept the bullies away. I gave you notes you'd missed. I made sure that you weren't hurting. I kept my distance, but I was always there," he admitted to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"You were the one posting the typed up History and Biology notes through my door? You were the one sticking up for me online, not Matt? It was all you?" I asked, looking at him with tear filled eyes.
"I never left you, Jack. Never," he replied as a tear spilled over. He reached over and wiped away the tears.

"Why didn't you tell me before now?" I asked as more tears fell.
"Because I didn't have the opportune moment," he replied, wiping away the tears that fell.
"I wish I'd known. How much have you done for me without me knowing?" I sobbed, now the tears flowing strongly.
"Let's not diverge into that list now, Jack. I hate seeing you so sad. Listen to me. I'm okay. I'm happy. I'm with the one person that made my life ten times better. I literally can't complain. I love you," he said and before I could reply, he had his lips on mine and was hugging me tightly.