The Truth About Hollywood

A couple of days later, we had our first day off from filming, and I was thankful for it. One more scene where I'd have to lock eyes lovingly with Danny would put me over the edge of insanity. Seriously.

Oddly enough, the day we had off was the same day that Mom was getting her tests done to see if the tumor was going to be operable after all. With all of my being, I hoped that it would be. I didn't want my mom to die.

I woke up around eleven, and saw Dad hurrying to get himself and Mom ready in time. It was scary to see how quickly she was progressing. I thought cancer was a slow killer, but it seemed that my mother had gone from slight behavioral changes to almost dead before my eyes.

"Claire, would you do the shopping please?" he asked, struggling to get a shoe on his foot as he hopped around, looking for Mom's jacket. She ran a hand through her hair, a tuft falling out and tumbling to the floor.

I averted my gaze from that disturbing sight and met the eyes of my Dad. He was so worn out...it was depressing.

"Sure," I replied.

"Thanks, sweetie." He put a thankful hand on my shoulder before walking out the door, his arm around my mother protectively.

I sighed as they shut the door, sinking down into the seat and taking the slip of paper on the table into my hand, my fingers running over the crisp paper.

There were only a few items on the list, but I figured that I should pick them up and get everything over with as soon as possible. I threw on a pair of baggy sweatpants and an old t-shirt before hurrying out the door, stuffing the note in my pocket as I walked.

The doors opened for me as I approached them, the automatic eye at the top of the door seeing me coming. After looking around for a second, I grabbed a basket and went right for the milk.

"Alright," I mumbled to myself, scanning the different brands. I was pretty sure that my parents got Garelick Farms, but I wasn't totally positive...ugh.

Shaking my head, I just put the half-gallon of Garelick Farms skim milk into my basket and scurried away before I could change my mind.

One by one, I gathered the items needed and crossed the items off the list. Then came the last one: pads.

Unlike most girls, I had this fear of using a tampon... I was too squeamish. Embarrassing, I know, but it was just reality for me that I'd accepted a long time ago. I'd heard too many horror stories and warnings about them.

So, as discreetly as I could, I grabbed a package of Always pads and looked both ways before slowly putting them into my basket.

"HEY!" someone screamed, and I dropped the package. In a state of horror, I tried to shove them back on the shelf and tried to look as natural as possible. I didn't know why it was so embarrassing for me having to buy pads, but it was.

I turned around to find a girl about thirteen running up to me with a huge grin on her face. "I know you!"

"I can't say the same," I laughed awkwardly.

"You're the girl from that commercial! You're going to be on that show Darwin High, right?!"

My jaw dropped with shock. My show wasn't even on yet, and people were already recognizing me? That was just unreal...

"Yeah...I am."

"Can you autograph my shirt?!" Out of the back pocket of her light-washed jeans, she pulled a permanent marker and handed it to me, smiling excitedly.

"Uh...sure..." It was clear that I was uncomfortable in this element as I leaned over the girl, sliding my hand up her sleeve a little, and signing my name messily. When I finished, I clicked the top back on and handed it back to her.

"Thanks!" The girl showed off her light green braces before running to her friend, who was at the other end of the aisle, giggling.

"ENJOY THE SHOW!" I called after her loudly.

Some people turned and stared at me, and I could feel the blood starting to creep up my neck. Okay, so that wasn't the smartest thing to do in a crowded place.

After determining that the girl was gone for good, I put the pads back in my basket and hurried to the front before anyone else recognized me.

The boy at the register was a teenager, younger than me, and had bad acne across his cheeks. He greeted me quietly before scanning all the items I had in my basket.

I stared out the front window of the store blankly until I was snapped out of it by the boy, saying in a raised voice, "Uh, ma'am?"

Ma'am?! How old did I look...? "Yeah?"

"Paper or plastic?"

"Plastic's fine, thanks," I smiled, trying to stifle the blush that I could feel spreading across my face. Ugh, embarrassment... Something that I just couldn't seem to avoid.

He told me the total, and I handed him a few twenty dollar bills. He handed me my change.

"Thank you!" I called to him, picking up the couple of bags and walking out of the store. Then, it was time to walk the mile home.

When I got home, I put all the groceries away and darted up to my room. After turning the TV on, I flopped onto my bed on my stomach and watched it, occasionally flipping through the channels.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone vibrated, since I'd totally forgotten that it was in the pocket of my pants.

hey, it read, wanna hang out 2day?

I bit my lip and looked again at the sender, thinking I must have read it incorrectly the first time. But I hadn't; Danny sent it to me.

My first reaction was to type YES excitedly and change into something nicer, trying to make him like me once and for all. But then, my brain got around to working, and I realized that it was just going to make me feel worse about myself. So...it was time to lie.

"Can't," I said aloud as my fingers flew across the tiny keyboard. "Watching over my mother. She better get over this flu soon. Send."

Within a minute, he sent back a reply. sucks. i guess ill c u 2moro

I just left it like that, not wanting to answer him again. It was strange, how much it hurt inside to know that he'd kissed me, but he didn't even care. Sure, if it had been a scripted kiss, it would have been so much different. I would have expected it, it would have been planned.

But it wasn't, so I'd taken it as a move toward me. My stupid little brain just needed to grasp that, and I needed to move on.

If only I could.

Downstairs, I heard the door open and the sound of voices, so I knew that my parents were home. Something held me back from running down the stairs immediately, though I wasn't quite sure what that was, exactly. More like a feeling.

Finally, I heard the door down the hall close, and I knew that my parents were in their room, probably discussing what had happened at the doctors, and whether or not they were going to tell me.

It annoyed me how my parents didn't think that I was really hold enough to know about everything, but I was. I was sixteen, seventeen in August. So why couldn't I know how my mother was doing? It didn't make any sense.

For the rest of the day, I watched stupid TV shows that I didn't even remember the plots for, and it wasn't until nine thirty at night that I'd realized that no one made any dinner.

I took it upon myself to get food, so I hurried downstairs. When I walked into the kitchen, I immediately stopped and ducked behind the wall that separated it from the hallway.

Then, ever so carefully, I peered around it, holding the corner for support. My dad, the strongest man I knew, was sitting at the kitchen table, holding his forehead in his hand as he sobbed, his shoulders bobbing up and down.

Tears started to collect in my eyes because this showed me exactly what that doctor said, and the fact that things were going to get a whole lot worse than just Danny not liking me.