The Truth About Hollywood

"Just relax," Mom urged, breathing deeply herself. "You'll be great."

"I sure hope so," I mumbled. Clutched to my chest were my folder with my head-shots and résumé, and in my other hand was my script. I was still last-minute cramming for lines, which wasn't smart, but that was how I learned best, minutes before having to perform.

When we got inside, I checked in with my name, and the receptionist told me to take a seat and I'd be called when I was wanted. I settled down with my stuff and got ready to wait. While I went over my lines in my head, my mouth moved along with the words to make sure that I didn't flub them when it came to crunch time.

"Oh my God!" the girl next to me squealed, clutching onto my arm. I didn't like touchy-feely people, so I tried to pull away, but she only grasped tighter. Her hair was light blonde, and her eyes were a unique gray-blue.

"What?" I finally asked, giving her a confused look. I glanced up for a second to see Mom wave and slip out the door, leaving me all alone for this process. It didn't matter though; I kind of liked it this way better.

"Darwin High! That's named after Steve Darwin, right?! The guy who discovered the turtles at the Gapagos?"

For a second, I didn't really know what to say. How does one respond to something so completely...brainless? "Um..." Finally, I just decided to humor her. "Yeah, I think so..."

"I totally knew it. Can you believe that I got a D- in biology? I know this stuff so good. So who are you trying out for?"

Ugh...why was she still talking to me? She was obviously one of those girls that tried to make friends with the people in line who were trying out with her. I hated those people.

"Diana," I replied after a short pause, smiling a little. "You?"

"I feel like everyone's going to be trying out for Diana, so that's good for me. Sucks for you, but good for me. I'm trying out for Veronica."

"Her character sounds really interesting," I nodded falsely. She sounded interesting alright...Veronica was supposed to be the queen bee of the school, a total bitch to everyone, especially Diana. Gulp.

"I thought so." The girl flipped her blonde locks behind her shoulder. "Anyway, my name's Stella, you know, after Stella McCartney? How about you?"

"Claire," I answered. "Just...Claire. Not for anyone."

"Quaint," she said like she smelled something foul. That was nice...besides, I liked my name. It was better than Stella...at least in my opinion. Maybe I was biased.

"Stella Gray?" a short girl who looked in her early thirties called.

"Bye! See you on the other side!" She bounded from her seat and turned to wave snobbily before disappearing into the audition room.

"Um...she's kind of too much, huh?" a girl said from my other side.

"A bit," I laughed nervously, hoping that I wasn't being set up. It wasn't like it'd be the first time...

"I'm Annabelle," the girl greeted. She had a really nice smile, her teeth all straight and white. "And you're Claire, right?"

"Yup." I started flipping through my pamphlet to find the scenes that Diana was in. Before long, I found it.

"So you're auditioning for Diana, right?" Annabelle asked.

"Yeah, I am." I bit my lip, so nervous that this Annabelle girl was going to say that she was lobbying for the same part. That'd suck, since I actually kind of liked her. She seemed nice, unlike Stella...

"I'm trying out for Luciana. Wait...don't we...?" As she looked down at her script with her dark blue eyes, her collarbone length brown hair fell in front of her face. "Yeah! Our first scene is together!"

Surely enough, it was. That was pretty cool. "You wanna run lines or something? I mean, it's not like we'll get the parts definitely, but it'll be cool to get a feel for our lines better."

"Sounds great," I smiled, turning my torso so I was facing her. After tucking a strand of my dark brown hair behind my ear, I started the scene. "God...it's good to be back after summer vacation, right, Lucy? I feel like this is a new year for a whole bunch of new opportunities! I have a goal this year. My grades are going to be so much better than they were last year. I can't believe that I almost got a B in biology." Oh, please.

"Oh, loosen up, Di. Look for a boyfriend or somethin', will ya?" Annabelle leaned over and bumped my shoulder jokingly.

"There's no time for that. I don't need any distractions."

"You're really good," Annabelle commented, putting her script down on her lap. "What have you done before? You look kinda familiar."

"Nothing really..." I trailed off, my face started to heat up. "I just did a Twix commercial, and I was murdered and raped, in that order, on an episode of Murder Mystery."

"That's it! I love Murder Mystery! I've seen every episode about seven thousand times. You're the girl who was walking home with her friend and decided to take a shortcut through the park that your friend wouldn't?"

"That's me." This was so strange... No one ever recognized me... If I made this Darwin High part though...it could happen. My face could be public. Hopefully, I'd be ready for that sort of thing.

"Claire Bryant?" It was the same girl that called Stella, now saying my name. My stomach started to grow butterflies.

"I guess I'll see you later," I smiled at Annabelle, taking my first few steps forward. No matter how many times I went through this process, it never got any easier.

"Just through here," the girl instructed softly. I didn't say anything, just following behind her, our footsteps making soft sounds on the linoleum-tiled floor.

"Here we go," she said finally, throwing open a door. Inside, there were three judges, two men and one woman, sitting at a table, some papers in front of them.

Silently, nervous as I always was around new people, I put my papers on their desk. "Should I put down my script?" I asked quietly, like a mouse.

I noticed that they rolled their eyes like, 'Oh, hell, here we go again...' "No, it's fine. You can use it as a reference. Who are you auditioning for?"

"Diana," I replied.

"And what's your name?"

I answered that, along with a few other basic questions, like where I went to school, how old I was, how tall I was, what my weight was, blah blah blah.

Finally, we got to reading the script. The words felt natural, and it helped that I'd just gone over them with Annabelle. Something told me that if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have been quite as, I have to admit, good.

"Alright, next scene?" the man on the far left of the table asked. I nodded and did as he ordered.

Somewhere in the middle, I forgot my lines. I had this down pat, and I totally forgot. "Um...."

I glanced down at my script, but I hadn't been following along, so I was lost. The judges' eyes bore holes in me, burning my skin.

"Sorry," I mumbled, finally finding the place and picking up my speed again. I tried my best to ignore the apparent blush on my face, but it wasn't too easy.

"Okay, thank you," the woman, the producer, I think, voiced. "We'll be in touch if we decide to use you."

"Thanks," I responded before walking out of the room. As I walked outside, cell phone in hand to call my mom, I got so annoyed at myself.

"I bombed it," I told Mom when she picked up her phone the third time I called. She never answered her phone...it was like a sickness that never got cured, no matter how many times she apologized. "There's no way I'm going to be Diana."

"Honey...that's too bad." She clucked her tongue sympathetically. "Well, I guess there'll always be other parts. I'll be there to pick you up in a minute."

"Okay." I hung up the phone and sat on the edge of the sidewalk, my chin on my knees. I couldn't help but feel so completely down about the fact that...my dream was just crushed.

There's always next time to pick up the pieces and start again, I guess. But what if there was no next time? There at least won't be a next time as perfect of an opportunity as this time.

Please let them pick me from my performance and not notice my mistakes... One could only hope.