The Truth About Hollywood

I yawned the next morning as I picked my head up off my pillow. The clock informed me that it was ten thirty in the morning, and I groaned, remembering how that meant that I only got four hours of sleep.

It was shocking, just how powerful the mind could be. I started trying to get to sleep at two in the morning, when Dad and I got home from the hospital with the promise that Mom would definitely last the night, but I couldn't stop wondering whether or not I should go to LA for the premiere.

On one hand, I was expected to go. I needed to promote the show, and give the people, once and for all, some real pictures of me. A taste of who I really was, instead of those god-awful paparazzi shots that showed me on various dates with Danny. Well, not dates. Just being with him. Right. Ugh, I could even embarrass myself with my thoughts.

On the other hand, Mom was dying. What if she passed away while I was at the premiere? She did say that she wanted me to go on with my career, no matter what was going on with her, but was I in a fit enough mental state for that?

"Claire," Dad said softly as he knocked on my door, "you gotta get up so that we can get to the hospital."

"Okay," I responded, finally getting up from my bed and running a hand through my hair. It was slightly greasy, but when I looked in the mirror, it didn't look horrible. When I threw it up in a ponytail, it looked presentable enough.

After getting changed into jeans and a t-shirt, I finished getting ready in the bathroom and ran down the stairs to the kitchen. Dad handed me a bagel with cream cheese wrapped in a paper towel.

"Eat it in the car," he directed, turning me around and giving me a little push toward the door. "We have to get going."

"Okay," I agreed shortly, stumbling over my own feet. I was slightly woozy from a lack of sleep, and I felt like I could pass out at any second.

"Are you alright?" Dad questioned worriedly. Perfect. Just what he needed, to be worried about his daughter. Maybe worrying about his wife just wasn't enough.

I waved him off. "I'm fine. I just haven't completely woken up. I'll get some coffee at the hospital, and I'll be back to normal."

Dad knew me well enough to know that there was a good chance that I was lying, but I kept my face steady and calm. After surveying for a second, he sighed, deciding that I was alright, and finished his walk to the car.

The car beeped as the automatic lock was disengaged, making it alright for me to get in. I laid my head back on the headrest and listened to Dad's Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' Greatest Hit album as we made our way to the hospital.

Halfway there, my phone went off. I slipped it out of my pocket, stifling a yawn, and opened the text from Danny.

hey hows ur mom doing?

Dunno. I responded. we're just on our way to the hospital now.

keep me updated and give her my best

"Oh my God," I whispered. He was the sweetest guy on the planet, really. Did Mom even know him...no, no she didn't.

"What?" Dad asked, but I just shook my head.

"It's nothing you want to hear about," I responded truthfully. After all, what dad wants to hear his daughter fawning over a guy? Definitely not mine, anyway.

Dad shook his head, but he didn't press the subject any further. Soon enough, we pulled into the hospital parking lot and got out quickly, going straight to Mom's room.

A doctor was looking over her. When he heard us arrive, he greeted my father and totally ignored me. That was always great. Well, actually...in a few months (though I didn't want to get ahead of myself) I would probably be dying for someone not to know who I was, just ignore me.

But then again, maybe not. It was a time of wait-and-see.

"So how do you feel?" the doctor questioned, clicking his pen a couple of times. It was incredibly annoying.

"A little better," Mom answered in a horribly raspy voice. I bit my lip, hoping that I didn't bite right through it.

Dad was talking to her in a soft voice, his hand wrapped around hers as he made small circles with his thumbs on the back of her hand. It was all so sweet, and I almost felt out-of-place. Like I was a child again, and this was one of those "grown up problems" that we always got told about.

The doctor asked a few more questions before backing off, clicking his pen closed for the last time and slipping it into his front pocket. "Well, the chemo actually did a little bit, though not too much. We're going to keep her around for today, just to monitor to see if she gets any better. If she does, she can go home."

It hit me that I was supposed to leave tomorrow on a flight to LA for the premiere with the rest of my cast. Right after the doctor left, I was going to pitch the idea, just to see what to do.

With all my might, I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay here and make sure that Mom was okay. The only thing keeping me from not telling them about the option of the premiere at all was what Mom had told me, how she said not to worry about her, just do what I had to.

Ugh, why did she have to be so freaking selfless all the time? It made my life a lot more difficult.

"Thank you, Doctor," Dad's voice broke through my thoughts. I turned back to my sick mother, suddenly scared. I didn't want my parents to get the wrong idea, think that I wanted more than anything to go promote the show across the country. Because I didn't. Not at all.

"So..." I started as I sat down before stopping and clearing my throat. "I have something to ask."

Dad looked kind of shocked. "And what could that be?"

"I just...well, um..." I sounded like an idiot, fumbling around in my brain for the right words to use, but coming up blank. "See, the show is coming out on Saturday, and um..."

"Spit it out, Claire." His patience was clearly running low, but I couldn't let myself say the words any faster.

"The whole cast got invited to a premiere in LA. The plane leaves tomorrow, but I think I'm going to say that I can't go because I don't want to leave Mom, not now."

"Good choice. Know what's important," Dad nodded.

"Are you insane?" Mom whispered. I leaned a little closer to her so I could hear her better. "You're going to that premiere. You need to get your face out there."

"But, Mom..." I trailed off, looking up at Dad for support. But his face was kept stony. He didn't want any part of this. "What if something happens to you?"

"Then something happens to me. Don't compromise yourself. Go. You know I love you, and I know you love me, so it doesn't matter what happens."

Her voice struck me in the heart. She was right, but I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to be with her.

Though I knew I'd regret it, I said in the softest voice I could manage, "Okay."

Then, flicking out my cell phone with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I typed to Danny.

Tell levi that i'll be going to the premiere.