The Truth About Hollywood

The next few days went by in a blur, just rushing around, staying strong, making arrangements. Gia came over to join Danny as my team of moral support, which I really appreciated.

When I finally caught my breath, it was all over. People had paid their respects. Mom's ashes were in a small urn on the mantle, near an old picture of her from when she was in her early twenties. Things were attempting to go back to normal.

"Here you go," I smiled fakely, putting a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Dad. I felt so badly for him. Although I knew that we both were hurting deeply, it looked like he was taking it a lot harder than I was. That could have just been due to the fact that I worked hard to hide what I was feeling, while he was free to walk around without a purpose, a zombie. I saved my grieving for that time before sleep where the mind runs wild; it was only then that I allowed myself to cry.

Dad nodded, which I knew was his way of thanking me. He hadn't actually talked since I got home, so I had been picking up what different signals meant.

"I have to get to the studio. Levi only gave me until today to get myself back together. Are you going to be okay?"

Another nod. Although I wasn't totally convinced, I took it. Dad got until the following week to get over the loss, but I didn't have that luxury. The show must go on and all that.

"I hate this," I expressed after climbing into Danny's car. "I do. I hate seeing him look soulless, and I hate not being able to do anything about it. All I can think to do is all the chores, but he doesn't seem to notice."

"I'm sure he does," Danny reassured me. "Just because he doesn't mention anything doesn't mean that he's not picking up on it. After all, he kind of has a lot on his mind."

"That's true," I murmured. "I don't know. Maybe I'm being selfish."

"A little," he admitted. I let out a sigh. At least I was being told the truth. That was better than a white lie any day.

"I'll work on it," I promised as we pulled into the studio parking lot. Right when I walked inside, I was nearly tackled by Annabelle.

"Oh my God!" she gushed, looking like she was close to tears. Oh, dear lord. "I am so sorry to hear about your mom! I don't even know how you're strong enough to be here right now. When you left early from the premiere, even Stella seemed upset."

I rolled my eyes. "Not in the way you think. But thanks. And I'm not strong. I guess...you don't really know how you're going to react about something until you're forced into the situation, you know? Plus, my mom's been sick for a while, so it was a matter of when, not if."

Annabelle nodded. "Well, I gotta be on set, so I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Before I could answer, she was already rushing. John was waiting there, staring into a light. He had a habit of seeing how long he could stare into the brightest light on set before losing his vision.

My cast was a tad strange.

With Danny in tow, I made my way to wardrobe to get changed. I was assured by Levi that I would be filming a scene because he didn't want me to have to uproot myself from home, where I was needed, to waste my day at the set.

While I was sitting in a chair, Danny was rubbing my back slowly. It kind of made me want to cry a little, since that was the emotion I automatically associated with that kind of movement. That was how Mom used to comfort me when I was younger and couldn't stop crying.

Thinking about Mom again, I was about to start crying for real, but my emotions were snapped back in alignment when I saw that Stella was standing in front of me.

She heaved a deep sigh before she spoke. "Look, what I said at the premiere was wrong and mean and stuff. So, sorry." She almost choked on the word, but at least she was able to get it out of her mouth. That was more than I ever figured she could do.

"It's cool," I dismissed simply. Normally, I would have lied and said that it was fine, but continued to keep a grudge against her until one of us died. With my situation, though, I simply didn't have the energy to care enough. I didn't need any more drama in my life at the time.

Well, if I was trying to avoid drama, then I was probably in the wrong business. Oh, well.

A few hours later, Levi turned and nodded toward the set. "Stella, Annabelle, and Claire, you guys are up."

"Stella?" I questioned. I rarely had scenes with Stella unless they were just in passing, me in the background of one of her big monologues.

"Yeah, you heard me. You read the script, didn't you?"

Damn. "Um...hold on...did I get the new script?" I flipped through the one I'd brought and came up with no scenes of Stella and me. "I don't think I did."

Levi tossed a booklet to me, and I flipped to the scene he was referring to. It was a confrontation scene, where Diana stands up for her friend, Luciana, which is totally out of character for her. It's supposed to start showing how she's changing, thanks to the constant influence of Logan.

The lines were easy to memorize, simply because they were what I had wanted to say to Stella for a long time.

"And...action!" Levi's voice sounded.

"Can you believe it?" Annabelle sighed. "He didn't even look at me. Not even a glance."

I put on a sympathetic look, but didn't say anything. Stella was supposed to enter at that time and...

"Stella?" I laughed. "That's your cue..."

"Right!" she grinned, walking onto the stage.

Levi shook his head. "You're not good at all with cues. Start over. Rollback!" Annabelle and I returned to our original positions and waited for the direction. "And...action."

"Can you believe it?" Annabelle repeated with the same dreary tone. "He didn't even look at me. Not even a glance."

My face turned sympathetic, and the time, Stella came in at the right time.

"Lucas, right?" Stella questioned with a sneer. Wow, way to overplay it...

"Luciana... Lucas is a boy's name."

"Oh, with your flat chest and everything, I figured you were a boy. My mistake. Either way, you need to stay away from my boyfriend, okay? Because he doesn't like you. How could he? You're disgusting."

I stepped in front of Annabelle with a hating sparkle in my eyes. "What makes you think that you can say that?"

"Excuse me?" Stella gasped.

"You're not as pretty as you think you are. Frankly, you're a bitch. No one likes you, not even your friends. They just pretend to like you so that you'll buy them stuff. And, reality check, your boyfriend isn't even with you anymore. After that pregnancy scare, he dumped your sorry ass. So leave Lucy alone, got it, Vader?"

Stella's jaw dropped. "C'mon, Lucy," I continued, grabbing Annabelle's arm and leading her forward.

We continued to walk until Levi called, "CUT! Perfect, guys. Do it just like that while we get some close-ups."

And so we did the scene seven more times. Oh, the joys of repetition...