Before You Die

“Tardis! Oh Tardis!”

“Honestly,” I called to Helia as I also looked around. “You really think it’s going to answer?”

“It won’t?!” he responded in shock, his expression laughable.

“That is indeed correct. It is not a dog, nor a cat or anything with a voice. This is why we are looking.”

“Well,” Helia said, finally giving up and standing in the middle of the empty tent. “I don’t think it’s here.

I circled my last corner before walking over to meet him. “All right,” I started. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Go that way.” I pointed to the back of the tent.

“That’s your big plan? ‘Go that way’?!”

“Have you got a better plan Mr. I’m-a-fail-Deknera-assassin?”

He walked out mumbling under his breath.

“What was that sorry?” I asked as I followed him.

“I said, ‘Hesten Axeria Shao’.”

I moved forwards and hit his arm hard and he jumped away, rubbing his arm. “What’d you do that for?!”

“I may not speak fluent Deknerian,” I replied. “But I do know the slang swear words.”

“Sh-”

“Ah!” I said, stopping his continuous mumbling.

Helia gave a defeated sigh before beginning to walk tentatively around the tent.

“Look,” I explained, almost tripping over his feet as he shuffled through the darkness. “I do want to get there sometime within the next minute. So, anything faster than a snail crawl would be much appreciated right about now.”

“Anything that gives me a pinprick of light would be appreciated right about now.”

“What do I look like, a light bulb?”

“Hey, I know as much about you as you know of me. Which is nothing except your species. What is your name by the way?”

“Keep walking,” I reminded him before replying. “And it’s Erica.”

“That’s a very human name,” he commented.

“Born and raised here,” I said. “And really, I’m more human than even you are.”

“The Timelord outshines the human part. I don’t think you’ll ever get out of that. People will be calling you the Human Timelord for the rest of your life, better get used to it.”

“Great,” I muttered. “Just what I always wanted. Keep walking, I see something up ahead.”

“Are you an owl or something?” Helia asked, squinting into the distance. “Where?”

“There,” I said pointing towards a tiny speck of light behind a brick wall. “I have a feeling that that thing is one of the things we’re looking for.”

“Well it’s certainly not a person.”

“Of course not,” I scoffed. “I think it’s the Tardis.”

Helia bolted as soon as he heard me say those words. But I caught his arm and pulled him back.

“You don’t have a key,” I commented before I remembered that fact very clearly in my mind.

Because I didn’t have one either.

“Well this sucks,” I muttered to myself before beginning to walk faster. Only thing was, I realised as I got closer. That pinprick of light wasn’t the Tardis.

“What the hell is that?” Helia asked me, his face shocked.

“I believe that is what you’d call two Gangores standing on each other’s shoulders in order to appear that they are a human jester.”

And then the couple of forty centimetre dinosaurs fell to the ground.

It was quite comical to see them fall onto the ground swearing in accented English. But what was less comical was when they came at us with little laser guns pointing up at mine and Helia’s faces.

“Where’s the Doctor,” one of them asked.

“We don’t know,” Helia responded looking down at them with a small smile hidden away.

He was inwardly laughing at the fact that they didn’t even reach our knees. I know that because I was laughing at it too.

“Why do you always want the Doctor,” I muttered.

“Because he’s THE Doctor.”

If another person dared to say that, the shoddy Corovian Mistilec was coming out again.