Easy Come, Easy Go

Pre stage jitters.

She always had them, even if she’d grown used to hiding them. Couldn’t show weakness in front of Vocal Adrenaline.

And she couldn’t show weakness in front of her competition either.

But she was nervous. She smoothed her dark hair in the mirror for the 50th time, running through the words to the songs in her head.

They’d been told to choose a musical number, a pop song, and a third song from a genre of their choice. The point was to show versatility, to see how they sounded doing different things. To show they could do more than one thing. That would eliminate some people right off the bat, but this was a tough competition either way. And only a select few would make it through.

She would have loved to go with Defying Gravity for the musical number, but it was way too obvious a choice. Then there had been some debate between I Dreamed a Dream or On My Own, both from Les Miserables, her other favorite musical next to Wicked.

But finally she had chosen Don’t Cry For Me Argentina over The Wizard and I. Both songs were amazing, but she decided the choice from Evita was better since she’d known it for longer. She’d loved that song since she was little.

And then for the pop song she had decided on Katy Perry’s Firework. Again, there had been some debate there, between Hot N Cold or Teenage Dream. But she’d chosen Firework simply for the message. She hoped she’d made the right decision.

And then the last song. Her closer. Her choice.

She’d gone with Carrie Underwood, Just a Dream. A country song. It was a sad song, but a strong vocal performance that was perfect for the last song.

She was the second to last performance, which was really too bad. She liked to be first or last. Usually last.

If you went first everyone had to measure up to you.

But she preferred last, because even though she had to measure up to everyone else, it meant she was the freshest in the judge’s minds. So if she could pull a strong performance, it was perfect.

She’d practiced endlessly.

And even though her parents weren’t in the audience, Puck was.

They had left sometime last night. It was a long drive and they wanted to spend time with Jesse. They hadn’t said a word to her. Not even good luck.

It was as if they had already forgotten about her audition.

Whatever.

She couldn’t let herself worry about that now. Instead, she sipped the tea she had made in a thermos that morning, which was good for the voice.

Well at least she’d been able to drive that morning. They had taken her dad’s car to LA, which meant her mom’s car was left unattended. So she’d…borrowed it.

Of course she didn’t have a license, but she did know how to drive. Besides, she’d been annoyed.

As she waited for her turn she focused on clearing her mind for the big performance ahead, and then joined the others waiting in some vocal warm ups. It was soundproof backstage so that their noise wouldn’t be heard on stage.

Then finally, finally, it was her turn.

She heard her name called and took one last, quick look at her reflection. Her long dark fell in smooth waves, and was pulled back from her face. Her makeup was heavy, done in the style she always did stage makeup. Otherwise it wouldn’t show. It would look great offstage.

And she wore this gorgeous, emerald green dress the really brought out her eyes and looked great with her skin tone and hair. It was soft against her skin.

She took a deep breath, put on a confident look, and made her way onto the stage. There was polite clapping, but the audience was dark with the stage lights shining, so she couldn’t see anyone.

Except, of course, the judges, sitting at a table to the side of the stage.

Adelaine smiled.

“Adelaine St. James.” One of the judges said, and looked up at her. “I remember your brother, Jesse. I was a judge at his first Nationals competition. He had a great voice.”

Really? She was going to be compared to Jesse, then. Great. But she kept the bright smile on her face. Thankfully she didn’t have to think of a reply, though, because she had no idea what to say to that.

“Interesting choice of songs.” The man continued. “Well go on then, I’m curious to see if you’re as good as your brother.”

Maybe it could work out to her advantage, though, she thought as she adjusted the microphone so it reached her height, and the opening notes of the song began. At least that judge would remember her. Especially if her remembered her brother from, what? 6 years ago now? Maybe a little less.

”It won’t be easy, you’ll think it’s strange when I try to explain how I feel. That I still need your love after all that I’ve done. You won’t believe me. All you will see is the girl you once knew, although she’s dressed up to the nines, at sixes and sevens with you.”

She let herself get lost in the song, the words she had practiced for so long, the lyrics she had known for years. And as it did when she was really into a performance, the world fell away, and it was just her and the music.

”Don’t cry for me Argentina. The truth is I never left you. All through my wild days, my mad existence. I kept my promise, don’t keep your distance. Have I said too much? There’s nothing more I can think of to say to you. But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true.”

There was a break between the end of Don’t Cry For Me Argentina and the next song, enough time for the audience to clap quickly, enough time for Adelaine to come back down to Earth.

She focused on her next song. Firework. She’d liked the song since she first heard it on the radio. This one was shorter, of course but more fun to sing. Less emotional in many ways.

“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, like a house of cards, one blow from caving in? Do you ever feel already buried deep? Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing. Do you know that there’s still a chance for you? ‘Cause there’s a spark in you; you just gotta ignite the light and let it shine. Just own the night like the Fourth of July. ‘Cause baby you’re a firework. Come on, show ‘em what you’re worth.”

This was the perfect choice, Adelaine realized as she sang. It showed her versatility in voice, able to do more than just musical numbers, but still showing strength in voice. And she really just loved the song.

She pulled the microphone from its stand as she sung, backing up on the stage and again letting herself get lost in the song.

”’Cause baby you’re a firework, come on show ‘em what you’re worth. Make ‘em go oh oh oh as you shoot across the sky-y-y. Baby you’re a firework. Come on, let your colors burst. Make ‘em go oh oh oh. You’re gonna leave ‘em going oh oh oh. Boom boom boom, even brighter than the moon moon moon. It’s always been inside you you you, and now it’s time to let it through.”

She finished the songs smiling, buzzing with feverish excitement. So what if her parents weren’t here? Screw that. They were the ones missing out on their own daughter’s life. She wasn’t missing out on anything.

She had to calm down though, to finish with her last song.

She returned the mic to the stand, focused on her breaths. And the music started playing, solemn, slower.

“It was two weeks after the day she turned 18. All dressed in white, going to the church that night. She had his box of letters in the passenger seat. Six pence and a shoe. Something borrowed, something blue. And when the church doors opened up wide she put her veil down, trying to hide the tears. Oh she just couldn’t believe it. She heard the trumpets from the military band and the flowers fell out of her hand.”

Once again the song took her away, to a different place. It was so depressing, but such a beautiful song.

”Baby why’d you leave me, why’d you have to go? I was counting on forever, now I’ll never know. I can’t even breathe. It’s like I’m looking from a distance, standing in the background, everybody’s saying he’s not coming home now. This can’t be happening to me. This is just a dream.”

She finished the song still lost in the emotion and the music. And as she slowly returned to reality for the third time, she looked around, aware of loud applause. Yeah, she was used to applause, thunderous applause, and even standing ovations, though if there was one she couldn’t see it because of the stage lights blinding her.

But this felt different. Because this time it was for her. Her. Not Vocal Adrenaline. Not Jesse.

Her.

She smiled, took a small bow and made her way off stage.

The last person went, a handsome boy with tousled brown hair. And then the closing, where they all went on stage and everyone clapped. And then the auditions were over.

She went backstage to grab her purse and now-empty thermos, and then made her way into the audience.

It was Puck who found her. And he wasn’t alone. His mom and sister had come too.

“Noah mentioned that your parents weren’t coming to your audition. We thought you deserved some support.” His mom explained, and Adelaine was speechless because she was sure if she spoke she might cry.

So she hugged her, and then Jessica, and finally Puck.

“Thank you.” She managed to say, and she even said it without crying. “You have no idea how much it means to me.”

And she stepped back into Puck’s arms, because right now, everything felt utterly perfect.