Easy Come, Easy Go

It was Sectionals, a week later. Adelaine hadn’t spoken to Puck since Thanksgiving. It was awful and she knew it. She KNEW it.

But she still couldn’t bring herself to dial his phone number and talk to him.

He loved her. She didn’t think she could handle being loved.

More specifically, she didn’t think she could handle loving him back.

God, how screwed up was she? She was willing to give him her body but not her heart? Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around or something?

She had to get out of this mindset. They were on in five minutes.

Somewhere in Lima, Noah and the rest of New Directions were probably preparing for their own Sectionals competition the next weekend. Right now, Adelaine had to focus on winning her own.

They were doing Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri. After the way she had walked out on Puck after he told her he loved her it seemed like a really bad song for her to sing. But the show must go on and this wasn’t about her. This was about Vocal Adrenaline.

Besides, they had actually made the song into something really amazing. Coach Goolsby usually tried to avoid ‘Top 40’ songs, but with the amazing vocals, combined with great choreography it was an excellent performance. Definitely in the top 10. Which for Vocal Adrenaline was saying something.

They were called to stage. Adelaine took one last look at her reflection in the mirror. Their color scheme was purple and black and she wore a dark purple dress. She smoothed her dark hair and followed the others onto the stage.

Adelaine threw everything she had into her performance. She let the music sweep her away to another world. She couldn’t completely forget about Noah…but at least he wasn’t all she could think about right now.

But the end of performance just pulled her out of that world and into her own. She sat by herself backstage. She knew she had to suck it up and talk to him. He had called, texted…what must he be thinking right now?

But she just hadn’t been able to bring herself to talk to him after what he had told her.

“Hey Laine!” Bethany came over and sat down across from Adelaine. “So Mark and I are planning a party for tonight, when we win.”

“When? Don’t you mean if?” Adelaine asked with a smile she didn’t really feel.

Beth rolled her eyes. “No, I mean if. Come on, it’s like you don’t know us at all. Have we ever lost at Sectionals?”

“Not that I know of.” Adelaine admitted.

“Exactly. So are you coming?”

“I don’t know. I’m not really in the partying mood.”

“Ha. Are you ever? Lately, I mean. I mean you were never much of a drinker, but you used to dance and sing and hook up and have fun. You haven’t hooked up in ages. I mean, when was the last time you went to a party?”

“Halloween.” She answered quietly, and Bethany frowned. Right. She hadn’t gone to the Vocal Adrenaline Halloween party. She’d gone to some party with Puck. She shook her head. “Anyway, I don’t think I’m going. I have a lot of homework to do and if I want to get into UCLA I need good grades.”

“Well…all right then.” Bethany shrugged, just as all they were called to stage for the announcement of the winner.

They stood on stage with the other two teams. Adelaine forced all her worries to the back of her mind again, putting on a confident look; a look that said she knew they would win. She didn’t necessarily know that, of course, but that wasn’t what mattered. All that mattered was what it appeared to be.

She wasn’t, however, surprised when Vocal Adrenaline was announced as the winner. This was unusual, despite whatever appearances she may put on. She was always nervous, and then excited when she won.

Oh, she played the part. Smiling, jumping up and down, holding the trophy up, cheering. But somehow it all felt…wrong.

Finally Mr. Goolsby took the trophy and they all headed backstage. Adelaine ignored all the parents that came backstage to fawn over their kids. She planned to just grab her stuff and go home. She kind of just wanted to shut herself in her room and listen to sad music.

But a single voice stopped her. A single word.

“Adelaine.”

She turned around. She had already recognized his voice, but seeing him was even worse.

Worse because his mere presence lifted her and made her feel better. Made her want to smile. This was not a good sign.

“Noah.” She breathed.

He seemed to force a smile. “Well congratulations on winning. Not that I ever expected any less. The judges would have to be crazy not to pick you.”

“Thanks.” Adelaine said, and looked away, unable to meet his eyes.

His smile dropped. “Look, Adelaine…about what I said-“ He began, but Adelaine cut him off.

“No, don’t, Noah. Just…don’t. Please.”

He did anyway. “I didn’t mean to scare you off. Honestly, I didn’t think you would get so upset, and I’m sorry. It’s just…I’ve never actually felt this way about anyone before. It’s kind of crazy.” He smiled again. “But if you’re not ready for that…well then I promise not to say it again. Not until you want me to.” He paused. “I don’t want to lose you. This is crazy, and it’s new to me…but there’s something about you. I don’t want to lose you.” He repeated.

Adelaine was silent, staring at him while her thoughts raced. “I…I can’t.” She finally said softly. The words hurt to say. But somehow, for some reason, she said them anyway.

His face changed from hopeful to disbelieving. “You…what?” He sounded shocked.

Adelaine suddenly became aware all of Vocal Adrenaline was listening to them, and the pressure and stress only increased. “I can’t do this anymore, Noah.” She forced herself to say, still not quite meeting his eyes.

For a moment he looked as if he’d been slapped. He looked around at all of the other VA members, staring at the two of them. Then his gaze hardened and he crossed to her. “Just tell me one thing, Adelaine.” He put his fingers under her chin, and this time forced her to meet his eyes. “Ddi you ever even really care about me?”

Adelaine felt herself panicking. Her heart sped up and she couldn’t think. Her entire team, their parents and her coach were watching this.

I think I love you.

“No. I…I was just having fun, Noah. I thought you were too.”

He held her gaze a moment longer. But he was the first one to break it. When he did Adelaine kind of felt like something inside of her broke.

But she was probably just being a drama queen.

“I think, considering everything, we should officially end thing between us.” He said, looking down.

“I think you’re right.” Adelaine agreed. Now that he wasn’t looking at her, she let herself study him.

But it hurt a lot, so she looked away again.

And then, thankfully, she was saved by her ringtone. The chorus of Hummingbird Heartbeat filled the room, startling everyone. Adelaine hurried to her purse, grabbing her phone. “I have to take this.” She said, even though it was a blocked number. “Bethany, text me with the details about that party?” She asked.

The girl nodded and Adelaine hurried out of the room without looking at anyone.