Easy Come, Easy Go
A House is Not a Home (Turn this House into a Home)
Adelaine made her way through the house. Her parents were sitting at the dinner table with Jesse. They ignored her when she walked into the dinner room, making her way to the stairs. Jesse, however, caught her attention.
“Hey Adelaine.” He said. “Are you going to join us for dinner?”
Adelaine paused at the stairs, looking at him. She didn’t want to, but she it wasn’t Jesse she wanted to avoid. She nodded, and dropped her backpack at the edge of the stairs.
“You’re home late.” He commented, as she moved to sit next to him at the table, across from her parents.
“Um, yeah. Rehearsal ran late.” She lied, not looking at him when she spoke. She distracted herself by spooning some corn onto her plate.
“Still a vegetarian?” Jesse asked when she ignored the steak, and instead went for mashed potatoes.
She nodded, pouring a cup of soda. It seemed painfully obvious he was tired of their parents fawning over him, but Adelaine didn’t know how to help him. It wasn’t like they liked her enough to let her presence distract them from him.
“That’s good.” He said, which seemed ironic since he followed that up with a bit of his own steak.
“So how long are you staying, Jesse?” Their father asked.
“Probably about a week. That’s how long our break is.” Jesse said. He turned to Adelaine. “I plan on coming back to see your Regional performance though. I have midterms when you guys do Sectionals, but I really want to see the Regionals performance.”
Adelaine smiled. “That would be great.” And so refreshing to have someone there for her for a change. He’d come last year to see her in her Regionals performance, but he’d ended up being the one who drove her to the emergency room, he’d been the one who had to call their parents so they could sign off on the forms for surgery.
Because they usually didn’t answer the phone when Adelaine called.
They talked for a little while longer, but soon Adelaine’s parents started a conversation with him, and Adelaine managed to escape upstairs with a muttered excuse about homework. Only Jesse bothered to acknowledge it.
Whatever. She was used to it by now. Her parents loved their super-talented firstborn. Jesse, as mean as he could sometimes seem to outsiders, had always been really kind to her. Maybe he felt bad that their parents tended to ignore her so much. Maybe he saw that she had talent too and didn’t want her to give up on trying. She didn’t know. It was hard to understand her brother, who could be so cold, but so nice. When he wanted to be.
She turned on her computer, figuring she might as well actually do homework. School wasn’t her strongest talent, though she managed to maintain a B-average. Unlike her superstar brother, who with everything else he did during his school days, he still kept up straight As.
She began working through her English essay, bit her thoughts drifted as she wrote.
She couldn’t help but think of her afternoon with Noah. Who would’ve thought that she would have ended up making out with him on his couch literally the day after meeting him?
It had been stupid. Really stupid. He must think of her as easy, some sort of a slut. She didn’t know why she’d ever even contacted him. It had been…well, there was no better word for it. Stupid. Foolish, really.
Something about him kept making her push aside all logic in his presence. She doubted it was his looks, she’d been with guys before. She’d never made out with them when she barely knew them.
So maybe it had nothing to do with him so much as it did with her parents. Being with him was a great way to avoid being home. And kissing him had easily kept her mind off of her parents, off of the way they so often ignored her, seemed to hardly notice she existed.
Laying there with Noah, kissing him without a care in the world…it kept her mind off the way she knew she would never be as talented as her brother in any aspect. It kept her mind off of the jealousy she had for him, made only worse by the fact that he was always so nice to her. It was hard to be mad at someone who was nice.
And it kept her mind off of her own self-loathing.
Ironic, really, since when it was over her self-loathing nearly doubled.
What was she doing? She was a lot of things—but never before had she acted like a slut. She didn’t want to be just another easy girl to him, let him take what he wanted and then leave.
But, then…at the same time…it wasn’t like she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him…
Abandoning her essay completely, Adelaine got up from the chair at the desk, ran a hand through her hair. She didn’t want to think about this right now. At all. She got ready for bed, turned her iPod on, and climbed into bed. The iPod could drown out the sounds of her parents and brother downstairs, but not her confused mess of thoughts.
She wasn’t sure what time she finally fell into a light, restless sleep. Her dreams were senseless, complicated. And when she woke up, she couldn’t remember any of them.
“Hey Adelaine.” He said. “Are you going to join us for dinner?”
Adelaine paused at the stairs, looking at him. She didn’t want to, but she it wasn’t Jesse she wanted to avoid. She nodded, and dropped her backpack at the edge of the stairs.
“You’re home late.” He commented, as she moved to sit next to him at the table, across from her parents.
“Um, yeah. Rehearsal ran late.” She lied, not looking at him when she spoke. She distracted herself by spooning some corn onto her plate.
“Still a vegetarian?” Jesse asked when she ignored the steak, and instead went for mashed potatoes.
She nodded, pouring a cup of soda. It seemed painfully obvious he was tired of their parents fawning over him, but Adelaine didn’t know how to help him. It wasn’t like they liked her enough to let her presence distract them from him.
“That’s good.” He said, which seemed ironic since he followed that up with a bit of his own steak.
“So how long are you staying, Jesse?” Their father asked.
“Probably about a week. That’s how long our break is.” Jesse said. He turned to Adelaine. “I plan on coming back to see your Regional performance though. I have midterms when you guys do Sectionals, but I really want to see the Regionals performance.”
Adelaine smiled. “That would be great.” And so refreshing to have someone there for her for a change. He’d come last year to see her in her Regionals performance, but he’d ended up being the one who drove her to the emergency room, he’d been the one who had to call their parents so they could sign off on the forms for surgery.
Because they usually didn’t answer the phone when Adelaine called.
They talked for a little while longer, but soon Adelaine’s parents started a conversation with him, and Adelaine managed to escape upstairs with a muttered excuse about homework. Only Jesse bothered to acknowledge it.
Whatever. She was used to it by now. Her parents loved their super-talented firstborn. Jesse, as mean as he could sometimes seem to outsiders, had always been really kind to her. Maybe he felt bad that their parents tended to ignore her so much. Maybe he saw that she had talent too and didn’t want her to give up on trying. She didn’t know. It was hard to understand her brother, who could be so cold, but so nice. When he wanted to be.
She turned on her computer, figuring she might as well actually do homework. School wasn’t her strongest talent, though she managed to maintain a B-average. Unlike her superstar brother, who with everything else he did during his school days, he still kept up straight As.
She began working through her English essay, bit her thoughts drifted as she wrote.
She couldn’t help but think of her afternoon with Noah. Who would’ve thought that she would have ended up making out with him on his couch literally the day after meeting him?
It had been stupid. Really stupid. He must think of her as easy, some sort of a slut. She didn’t know why she’d ever even contacted him. It had been…well, there was no better word for it. Stupid. Foolish, really.
Something about him kept making her push aside all logic in his presence. She doubted it was his looks, she’d been with guys before. She’d never made out with them when she barely knew them.
So maybe it had nothing to do with him so much as it did with her parents. Being with him was a great way to avoid being home. And kissing him had easily kept her mind off of her parents, off of the way they so often ignored her, seemed to hardly notice she existed.
Laying there with Noah, kissing him without a care in the world…it kept her mind off the way she knew she would never be as talented as her brother in any aspect. It kept her mind off of the jealousy she had for him, made only worse by the fact that he was always so nice to her. It was hard to be mad at someone who was nice.
And it kept her mind off of her own self-loathing.
Ironic, really, since when it was over her self-loathing nearly doubled.
What was she doing? She was a lot of things—but never before had she acted like a slut. She didn’t want to be just another easy girl to him, let him take what he wanted and then leave.
But, then…at the same time…it wasn’t like she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him…
Abandoning her essay completely, Adelaine got up from the chair at the desk, ran a hand through her hair. She didn’t want to think about this right now. At all. She got ready for bed, turned her iPod on, and climbed into bed. The iPod could drown out the sounds of her parents and brother downstairs, but not her confused mess of thoughts.
She wasn’t sure what time she finally fell into a light, restless sleep. Her dreams were senseless, complicated. And when she woke up, she couldn’t remember any of them.