Skyless

"Yanno'," He smiled and looked up at her. "We can always ditch this place. Just say we had a late lunch and we're not hungry."

She pushed the chicken around on her plate--uneaten, untouched--and smiled.

She stood up, forgetting she had slipped off her silver sandals under the table, so she walked bare-foot to the table behind them.

"Um, hey." She smiled putting her hand on her dads chair.

"Yes?" He looked up from his delicious looking food.

"Harvey and I aren't hungry, so we don't want to spoil anything for you guys, so we're just gonna walk back up the road to the houses. That okay?" It was total bullshit, but her dad let her do almost anything.

"Yeah...I guess." He tapped on the her moms shoulder, "Hey honey, is it okay for them to just walk back up the road to the house?"

Harvey's mom answered before she could, "Whatta' they wanna do?"

"Go back home," Her mom answered.

She grinned widely, "Oh." She winked. "Be safe."

Lacie smiled, pretending she meant crossing the street or something.
"Of course. We'll see you later!" She turned, leaving the perfect family portrait behind.

Grabbing her flip-flops under the table she tapped his shoulder.
"Come on, let's get outta' here." She whispered under her breath.

He got up, almost running the fuck out of that place. They walked under the mini tiki hut, also the entrance, and onto the sidewalk.

He took a yellow plumeria off a bush. He took her by the wrist, as she was walking in front of him. She stopped and turned around. He brushed the hair that wasn't in the neat ponytail behind her ear.

He stuck the flower in her hair, keeping his hand on her cheek. "You're gorgeous. You make me feel like I don't deserve you."
He kissed her, and whispered in her ear, "Which I don't." He smiled.

"Oh, please." She laughed.

He picked her up in his arms, holding her bridal style.

She screamed, "Harvey!" And giggled.

"What?" He walked, and with her light weight, it was easy.

"You. Are. Crazy."

"I'm only crazy for you."

She smiled. He put her down on the ground so she could walk, flip-flops in her grip.
They walked up the road in silence.

"It feels like it's been forever since we came here." She was hiding her face when she said the words, keeping her eyes staring into the distance.

"This is our last day together until we go back home." He pulled her closer, and the way he wrapped his arms around her screamed, "Please don't leave."

"God," She laughed, all fake. "Everything's going to change, isn't it?"

He knew it was, but he was curious to know why she thought that too, "How?"

"Well you're going to go back to being you, and your life-"

"But..." He looked at her, with mournful eyes. "You are my life now."

"Now, maybe. But you'll get over me soon." She was trying to hide the tears that filled her eyes.

She stopped, he hadn't realized they were already at his house.

He walked up the steps, without turning, he said with a low, gentle voice, "Come."

She did as so and he walked her into his bedroom, taking her hand ever so softly into his. He turned on the dim light and shut the door. As soon as he did, he took her into his arms. His warm, protective arms pulled her closer and closer and closer.

He pressed his forehead against hers and whispered with a shaky breath, "Oh God, please don't go."

He wanted to kiss her.
He needed to kiss her.

He moved his tender lips with hers. And he kissed so softly, so gentle, like she'd break with a single touch.

He kept it like that, soft, delicate. She felt like he was holding something back, she could feel
the want in his mouth, that poured over her face with every breath he exhaled. His tamed lips pulled apart from hers so soft and wet, leaving them both wanting more. He couldn't kiss her anymore. He feared the loss of her, and he didn't want to make it difficult for goodbyes.

He choked on some mysterious words that tried to tumble out his mouth from his heart. Instead, they stood there in silence. Mysteries flashing in their minds.

He never wanted to be this close. Not again. Not after she had smashed his heart, right out if no where. And for what? Stupid rumors.

I was never good enough for you. I'm sorry I caused you so much hurt you didn't even deserve. He almost thought of saying it out loud, but kept it stitched closed behind his lips.

Why? She thought. Tomorrow we leave and he's smothering me with love, I'm not even sure his tiny heart can hold. Which was true considering all the times it had been crushed, by everything and everyone so dear to him.

Why do you think he turned out the way he did?

"What's wrong?" She tilted her head to the side.

"Nothing. There's just a lot on my mind." He shook his head and rubbed it with his palm.

"Oh."

The silence killed.

She turned around, pointed to her zipper, "Help." The way she said it signaled, nothing more than she needed to borrow more comfortable clothes.

He unzipped it, helping her slip it off, just so he could touch her fragile body. He resisted from it, almost all hours of the day, and now he reserved himself from touching anymore than helping her out of her dress. He threw her a random shirt and a pair of his boxers.

"Thank you," Her quiet voice stung him.

He slipped into something also. Turning off the little light, he climbed into bed, not a word leaving his generous lips.

"Just tell me." She said climbing in after him.

He was faced the other way, his back towards her.
"Tell you what."

"About..." He guessed at what she might say, "what's going through your mind at the moment."

He was surprised. He turned over on to his back but still turned his head to face her in the darkness. She didn't need light to see the depression in his eyes.

He looked up at some invisible sky. "I'm thinking about what exactly I'm going to do when we get back home. What I'm going to tell people I did. 'Did you meet a girl?'" He changed his voice to sound like an example of one of his friends.

"Of course I'm going to say no. I didn't need to meet you on this trip to fall in love with you. I already knew you. But when they ask what I did, all I'll be able to think about would be you. I could tell them, I would tell them. But, I know they'll take after you like they did before. I want you my secret, but I can't hide you the whole summer. I'll burst, if I can't tell anyone how happy you make me."

She had her head rested on her hand, she was laying on her side and staring at him with curious eyes.

Her breathing silenced for a moment. "Anything more?" She was actually interested.

"How I can possibly be happy without you. I miss you, all the time. And people are going to realize I've changed. I can go on and live a lie like I always have, or be me for once-which seems easier now. But lying is going to be so much harder, it's almost scary.
"And for once I'm thinking about the future. What kind of job I'll have, the wife I'll have. I just want to come home, exhausted and pick her up in my arms, breathe in her sweet scent. And know that's where I belong, that I actually belong somewhere and with someone. I wanna realize that I'm not alone, I won't have to be anymore. Everything is okay and there are no reasons to cry, no worries about how I'll make it through the day--if I even do at all."

His voice now, how deep his thoughts were going, made her want to cry.

"But most of all I'm thinking about, love, and the one girl that showed me that. The one who never let me go, even though I put her through so much worthless shit. The amazing, beautiful girl who I never have, never will be worth enough, for me to call her mine." He paused, looking down over at her. "You."

She was crying now. Silent tears rushed down her cheeks. She didn't make a noise, but her lips shook with pity. Her tears for him were unnoticed, until he moved in closer to her, pressed his cheek to hers and kissed her lips with the gentle passion he had done before.

He pulled away ever so slowly, so much gentler than before. "I'm so sorry."
He kissed her tears away. He couldn't stand this.

He laid his head back down on the pillow. She moved closer, putting her wet cheek on his chest, and pulled his arm over her body, so she could hold it close to her, and keep his hand in hers like if she didn't, he might disappear forever.

"No matter how hard I try I can never make you happy. All I want is for you to smile." His voice sounded like it might crack, but it kept it's same level of gentleness it always had.

It fell silent, she didn't have anything to say. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping this pain of their early goodbyes would just, go away.

She sighed, tracing little hearts on his forearm where she could still make out the distance scars.
"Did you ever do it because if me?" The way she said it almost didn't make it sound like a question, she knew the answer even though she had never once asked.

He pressed his cheek against the top of her head. He knew she knew, "You remember when I broke my elbow, and that one day in gym class we both sat out. I sat next to you at the far end of the gym and we were talking. I had a whole bunch of writing on my hand. I caught you trying to look at it. I let you and I had written 'Emo Love.' on my palm."

She felt him smile. "Even way back then I was crazy for you. I tried sending you little hints like that. I thought you were into the whole emoish style and," He laughed lightly, "Look at me. I tried so hard for you to like me again. But I remember distinctly about that day, we talked about our bad habit. You told me you had been doing it since we broke up. And-remember our promise?"

She nodded. The promise they made when they were going out. He promised her, she promised him.

"I remember the feeling, that heart-shredding feeling when you told me what you had done. 'But...you promised,' were the only words I could bear."

She loved the soothing way he told stories, the tender way his voice was bouncing around in her head, echoing his words as it jumbled them together to give the story a better meaning.

She waited for the other part of the story. The explanation to why he was bringing this distant memory back into their minds, maybe?

"When I asked you to show me, and you did, I couldn't believe my eyes. And I knew it was all. My. Fault. I almost cried, I covered my face, hid it so you wouldn't see. I couldn't let you see. You lied to me, told me it was your parents. All of it. I'm kinda glad you did, it woulda' tipped me over the edge if you yourself had told me."

Their legs had tangled together now, her body still curled around his scarred arm.

"You texted me after school. I was walking alone, going home. I remember the low buzzing in my hand, the hand you had been touching, and the sweet relief with your name flashing on my screen. You asked me why it was such a big deal because I did it too. I was so shocked that you knew. I lied and I said I hadn't done it since Michelle. But that was such a lie!"
He was almost crying now. But she could tell he was holding back.

"It had taken me forever to let you go, Lacie. Sometimes I think, I never did. Not until Hadley came along."

Hadley, the girl everyone said he played. The one he "used for show". Lasting about three months, it was a good way to torment Lacie with jealousy.

"She took my mind off you, but somehow you always came in there. You always had a clever way into my heart, but maybe you just have a permanent place there."

She smiled. And for once she took his face in her gracious hands and kissed him. She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "You'll always have that place in my heart, I can never let go of."